Can anyone tell me what i should do as a mom

Hi @kittywanderer

You definitely do deserve to be a Mom, you just need a little help ❤️

Mums everywhere will understand how difficult little ones can be. My personal opinion is that shouting at your child won't help at all, they will just become frightened of you, and you don't want that. Of course we try to direct them and show them what is right and wrong, but at such a young age, they are up to all sorts. Maybe think of another more positive way to teach your child what's right and wrong, maybe extra playtime on a one to one basis will help, involve them in all you do and talk with them, never shout.

It sounds as though you may need support, maybe a member of your family can help you out once in a while to take the pressure off. If you've been short of patience with your child for sometime, then please have a chat with your doctor, you may be a little depressed.

Above all, remember you are doing the best you can and there is no shame in asking for help <3

Sending love

Lucy2

@kittywanderer
You sure deserve to be a mom.
kids dont come with a manual and its normal to struggle sometimes or not know what to do, be less patient from time to time and more. You can learn better ways to manage your emotions or frustrations, without shouting at them, its a learning. kids also teach us things. we can take the additional channels as opportunities to improve as a parent, but also as a person. its totally okay to needing support, here there are even groups. On 7cups we have forums and guides to help with parenting, but also self-care.
You not only a mom but also still a person that need be taken care too, its easy to forget about ourselves when we try to take care of a child, but take care of ourselves helps A LOT, to be more patient and take care of our kid. You can message me to talk, to vent or brainstorming, I am accepting new members. Other listeners are here for you as well. Some focus on parenting.

Hi @kittywanderer,

It's normal to feel frustrated with your child.

There's a difference between "discipline" and "punishment" which may also help.

What Is Punishment?

❝Punishment is about controlling a child, rather than teaching the child how to control himself. And most often, punishment changes the way a child thinks about himself.❞

What Is Discipline?

❝The goal is to give kids a clear negative consequence that will help them make a better decision in the future. ❞

❝Discipline teaches children new skills, such as how to manage their behavior, solve problems, and deal with uncomfortable emotions. Discipline helps kids learn from their mistakes and teaches them socially appropriate ways to deal with emotions, like anger and disappointment. Discipline techniques include strategies such as time-out or the removal of privileges.❞

Source: https://www.verywellfamily.com/the-difference-between-punishment-and-discipline-1095044

I have some worksheets saved for discipline ideas.

For example, if the child is doing something they are not supposed to, try to redirect them to do something else.

My 2y.o. likes to throw wood chips/sand when he's at the park. To prevent him from throwing it everywhere, I bought him a pail, where he can put the sand/wood chips in there and play. Sometimes, I redirect him to the swings/slide to do something else.

If he's being rowdy, I'll also take out his favourite books/puzzles and play with him and spend time with him.

If he throws a tantrum, I talk to him. "I understand you're upset, but you can't touch that, it's dangerous and could hurt you. It's an ouchie" and redirect him.

Is there something specific that your daughter does that you are seeking help with? Maybe I can give a more specific answer, depending on what it is that causes frustration.

In regards to your frustration with her, I'd recommend taking deep breaths and counting to 10 for yourself to calm down. Or sometimes... You may need to step away for a moment and rejuvenate.

You can also try local parenting classes/resources that teach about discipline, children's milestones, nutrition, etc. Sometimes, they offer help with children's toys, clothing, diapers, etc depending on the age of your child and your child's needs.

Lastly, the fact that you are asking for help is a great sign that you care for your daughter and want to do what's best for her. You are capable, you are deserving mama. You can do this!