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Am I A Bad Person?? :(

User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat March 29th

Hello sweet cupers..!! 🌸 How are doing today?? hope u have a wonderful day ahead... always wish the best for y'all 💞 

Lemme keep it simple, I'm tired of even typing xD . will try not to make it huge :) 

Lol I'm drowning agn, feeling like a bad person... like a monster, even any feelings. i feel like I'm hurting Ppl's like I'm hurting 'em, i don't want to:( but i also what to prioritise me, my health. I'm feeling like im being disrespectful to parents...!! Ik they're abusive but i also don't want neglect the goods they've did so far. Am i not grateful for what they did to me ?? but blaming them when they point out my mistake's?? is that make any senses?? i think I'm selfish, bad one. dunno?? i can't be myself anymore. trying to engage, be myself, Focus on my Stuffs but nothing is working... :( I'm so disoriented.

I just want to vent, nothing else...!! feeling unloved, pushed away, pointless in my life...!! (not feeling heavy but theres something quietly disturbing me) cups my anchor, you Ppl's help me boost up my energy n confident...!! i just want to feel loved, just want remind myself that y'all here for me ❤️ help me guy's....❤️ :)

*Hugs* 💞 

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@Ailuraphilelove8tear9

Hey demon lord 😈 

You are not a bad person, seriously if you were, you would not be sitting there stressing about hurting people or questioning yourself like this. That alone says so much about who you are 🌸

Taking care of yourself does not make you selfish, either. It just means you are exhausted and need some room to breathe. And I know it feels messy when you still care about people who have hurt you, but that does not make you ungrateful. Life is just rarely black and white, you sound overwhelmed, not bad.

I am so sorry you are feeling unloved and feel pushed away by the people around you. But you are not being pushed away here. You reached out, you shared, and we are listening. We are here with you 🌼

Sending big hugs right back ❤ Remember your goal about ruling over the world 😈

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1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 30th

@communicativeJet616

Hiya Batman 🤗...!!  yk how to make Demon Lord feel better after all 😭 thank you so much for those kind words for me...!! n telling me I'm not selfish 😭 i needed this a lot 💓

I don't think i regret my decision of prioritising me in the first place but feeling guilty that i hurting someone in the process... i care abt them, the decision is also goodness for the opposite person but do hurt them. so I'm worried:( 

I'm feeling better after reading this honestly... thank you so much for u support n being there for me as always 😊...!! glad we crossed our path 💓 

Sending lots of love and blessings ur way 💞 Hugs 🤗 

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Sorry that you're going through this. You're living around people that have hurt you and it's ok to be mad about that or be disrespectful to them. You're not being selfish. Every parents basic job they sign on to when they have kids is to help you through life and protect you. They're failing you not the other way around. I don't know where in the world you live but if it gets to much or dangerous please call a hotline or talk to someone. We care about you on this app if nothing else. Hope you feel better ❤️‍🩹

1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@agreeableSkies9889

Hi Agree 😊 thank you so much for ur support n ur kind words towards me, it mean's a lot to me more than u could think (⁠o⁠´⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠)⁠っ..!! you're very much appreciated 💓 I'm trying not to focus on them who brings me down... n keeping moving forward at my own pace <3. 

I'm grateful for ur presence here, sending lots of love and blessings ur way 💞 

Hugs 🤗 

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User Profile: Paliloveyourself
Paliloveyourself March 29th

Hi, Ailura! To answer your question, no I do not think you’re a bad person. It is okay to feel this way from time to time. I am not sure of what else to say but just know I am sending love and hugs your way 💜💜💜🤗🤗

1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@Paliloveyourself

Hi Pali 😊, I'm so grateful your support here...!! it's okay.. just letting me know that you being there for me is all enough to fill my heart sweetie 😊 you're very much appreciated here, thank you so much my love 🤗

Sending lots of love and happiness ur way ❤️ Hugs 🤗 

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User Profile: WellsFiction
WellsFiction March 29th

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9 Hey there.. I'm good, yet have felt a little off the last couple days. It's been very windy outside.

3 replies
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@WellsFiction

I'm glad to here that you are good so far after couple days...!! I'm so happy to know that (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠。⁠*⁠♡. It's really hot in here 😑 in here, i completely hate it xD. i love cold weather 😅. 

Hope u have a great day ahead 😊 sending lots of love and blessings ur way 💕 Hugs 🤗 

🐈🐾

2 replies
User Profile: WellsFiction
WellsFiction March 31st

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9 Thank you! I like cold weather too.

1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@WellsFiction

A pleasure 😊 

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User Profile: Nassi22
Nassi22 March 30th

U're not alone in this

1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@Nassi22

Aww Nassi 😊, i Appreciate ur kind words...!! mean's a lot to me, thank you so much. (⁠/⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠(⁠^⁠ ⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠/ 

Sending lots of love and blessings ur love 💕 Hugs 🤗 

🐈🐾

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User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 March 30th

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9 aww honey I'm sorry your struggling so much right now 😥 your not a bad person and you should prioritise your health.💖 you just seem a little lost in it all right now, but we are here for you 💖 we love you 💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗 everything is gonna be ok 💖

2 replies
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 30th

@Tinywhisper11

Lolaa 😭 I'm so happy to hear from u after so far 😭, i missed youu so much...!! it's breaking to hear u struggling too, hope things be soon ease up for u ❤️...!! i wish all the only goodness for u 💞 n I'm really grateful for those words u have mentioned, it just simply lighten me hearing it from u, sweetie ❤️ 

And new pfp?? woahh grulliee..!! look at you 😍💕 loved it ❤️ 

Sending lots of love and blessings ur way ❤️ Hugs 🤗 

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1 reply
User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 March 30th

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9 

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User Profile: Daisydoor211
Daisydoor211 March 30th

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9 Hey… I just want you to know I really felt everything you wrote. You’re not a bad person, and you’re definitely not a monster. You’re just overwhelmed and trying to figure things out, especially when it comes to balancing your own wellbeing and your relationship with your parents. That’s not selfish. that’s human.

It’s okay to acknowledge the good your parents have done and still admit when something hurts you. Both things can exist at the same time. It doesn’t make you ungrateful,it means you’re aware. And honestly, the fact that you’re even questioning yourself like this shows how much you care.
Feeling lost, unloved, or disconnected from yourself can be really heavy, even if it’s “quiet.” You don’t have to go through that alone, seriously.
I’ve seen someone go through something very similar, and they spoke to a therapist who really helped them sort out their emotions, set boundaries, and start feeling like themselves again. This therapist has helped quite a number of people dealing with family pressure, selfdoubt, and emotional confusion like this.
If you’re open to it, you could reach out and get more info. It might really help you find some clarity and peace.
And hey. you are not alone in this, even if it feels like it right now. Sending you a big hug 🤍
1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@Daisydoor211

Hi Daisy 😊 

That's so sweet of u, reading this warms my heart ❤️...!! i Appreciate your support n ur kind words to me. (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ it means so much to me...!! ❤️ n ty for the source u have mentioned <3 i appreciate that honestly...!! but I've one already, idk why therapy aren't working on me... but i guess, I'm slowly will get over it. just hearing from ppl's like u is all enough to fill my heart 🤗❤️ thank you so much for ur support, just know that you made someone's day today (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) 

Sending lots of love and blessings ur way 😊 Hugs 🤗 

🐈🐾

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User Profile: Raahee
Raahee March 30th

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9

I think everyone went through that at your age, doesn't make anyone a bad person, just some human thing. 

& u said it urself in 2nd para "keep it simple"

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User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@Raahee

Hiya Raahee, hope u doing good 😊. 

Thank you so much for your support, i appreciate ur kind words to me, means a lot to me ❤️ 

Sending lots of love and blessings 💓 hugs 🤗 

🐈🐾

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User Profile: SafeEmbrace
SafeEmbrace March 30th
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9 
Hi Ailura
I'm doing well, ty :) (I didn't see the notification earlier sorry)
I'm feeling sorry for you, I hope things get better soon 💙
well, I wanna say a few things
first .. misbehaving with parents doesn't always mean we are ungrateful or neglected the good they have done to you (I'm not justifying it) what I'm saying is that, it can be unintentional sometimes or might be the result of anger or irritation so you aren't a bad person for this because probably you didn't do it intentionally and I'm saying this because you are still asking yourself these question 
The fact that you’re worried about hurting people already shows how much you care. 
Bad people don't care if somebody gets hurt but you do, that means you aren't a monster or a bad person.

And it’s okay to take care of yourself and your health. Wanting peace for yourself doesn’t mean you’re selfish 💕
 Ailura, life can be complicated and it’s okay to feel confused about it sometimes, it doesn't mean you are pointless.
Also, you're definitely not alone. There are people here who care about you and want you to feel supported. You deserve kindness, rest and patience with yourself ✨
Sending a big hug right back 🤍
Take good care of yourself!!! :)

1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@SafeEmbrace

Hey hi safe 😊...!! (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠。⁠*⁠♡

I'm so glad to hear that you doing well 😊, n it's completely fine abt late response... xD your appreciated (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ. 

Im so grateful for those kind words n support you had given now, those words are warm enough to soften my heart <3 thank you so much for saying that I'm not a bad person..!! currently I'm trying hard not to focus on these Ppl's who put me down... directing my path somewhere i can feel myself, n ppls like you helping me so much to my healing journey, ty for letting me know that you there for me. that alone made me feel better, you warmth flowing through out my soul (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤ !! you're so much appreciated here..!! 🤗 

Sending lots of love and blessings ur way 😊 Hugs 🤗 

🐈🐾

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User Profile: Heather225
Heather225 March 30th

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9

You are an amazing person. If your parents made you feel like this, know that they are wrong. You're wonderful. Thank you for all the light you bring into our community <3

1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat OP March 31st

@Heather225

Aww (⁠/⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠(⁠^⁠ ⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠/ Thank you so much for ur kind n supportive words to me, H..!! mean's a lot to me 😊 ty 。⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠。 

Hugs 🤗 

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