Disgusted With Myself ****TW****
***TW***
I’m disgusted with my body. With the roll of fat on my tummy that I can feel when I sit, and I can pinch it. With my inability to stop eating, binging and binging as much as possible, even when I’m not hungry.
I feel like a fat, bloated, beached whale. Coping with food. How pathetic.
I should be able to control myself. I’m trying. Kinda. But I can’t. Food is comfort. Food is life.
Food is going to destroy me if I let it.
I know a food addiction is so much better than drugs or drinking or whatever, but I’m still disgusted and frustrated and… idk.
We spend more money on food than I want to, because of my insatiable, trying-to-cope stomach.
My stomach is disgusting. I feel disgusting. I hate myself. I hate looking down, looking in a mirror, seeing the distorted view of myself, seeing a fat hippo, not a beautiful young woman.
Who have I become?
@jesusredeemedme2425
I just want to say, I hear you, I love you and I'm with you through everything you are feeling 💜
I really understand how you feel. I used to struggle with my body, too. I thought I was fat and ugly, and I constantly compared myself to other women to the point where I couldn’t even look in the mirror without feeling ashamed.
But over time, I began to learn more about myself and gain the strength to change the way I saw things. I found the motivation to move my body, eat more regularly, and take care of myself not perfectly, but with more love and grace than before.
It’s okay if it’s not perfect every day. Progress isn’t about doing everything right it’s about showing up for yourself, even in small ways. Be gentle with your body. Be patient with your hunger. Some days you’ll want to eat more, and some days less and that’s normal.
Just try not to swing too far in either direction. Skipping meals or forcing yourself to eat when your body’s saying no can both be harmful. If you're struggling with appetite or emotions tied to eating, talking to a doctor might help. Sometimes we need support not just emotionally, but physically too.
Most of all, know this your body is not the enemy. You’re worthy of love, care, and healing exactly as you are.
Hi there. If you ever would like to chit chat I'm here. I could use a friend. I'm not a huge fan of my body either.
I’d love to <3
I just want to add my two cents and say I think the water first thing in the morning is the best and not thinking about what you can do to shape your body but what you can do to improve your energy I think is a healthier way to look at this. Your body image will follow the energy flow.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Acknowledgement is the first step in change. You do have the power to change your habits, but also your heart.
In changing your heart, you can come to accept the way of things. Ups and downs, ebbs and flows, we all change, we all grow. Phases and stages, nothing set in stone. Time heals in mysterious ways, sometimes light becomes shades of grey. But in you lives a powerful spark, one that, with fuel, can overcome the dark. Considering your circumstances, I am not surprised you have sought a way to cope. But never fear, for there is always hope.
It's okay to fall down, to not live up to your true self. There is no sense in shame, it is bad for your health. You do not have to change all at once. You can take time, days, weeks, months. Just having a goal is something to admire. It is a thought with potential to grow into a great fire.
I have endless faith in you. Try to enjoy yourself. I binged on fast food for a while and gained weight. I just needed something comforting, something easy. Life got too much, and I couldn't bring myself to be perfect.
That last sentence… That’s where I am right now. It’s not the extra fat… It’s complete and total overwhelm and shutdown. That’s the crux of the matter here. Not exercising. It’s PTSD and trying not to feel anymore… I’ve got nothing. So much nothing…
@jesusredeemedme2425
My heart goes out to you, Kiara. I too once felt I had a plethora of nothing.
You mean something to me, to all of us. My thoughts and prayers are always with you. It's not much, but you do have that at the very least.
I know what you're feeling. I'm in the same boat.
It's easy to overlook food addiction because we need food for fuel for our bodies but God wasn't kidding about gluttony. One way or another addiction is gonna damage us. Yet completely starving ourselves is no help either.
Sorry if this is none of my business, but I wonder if it could be insulin resistance or too much cortisol because that's what I think my issues are.
I have prediabetes
@jesusredeemedme2425 this is so honest. Thank you for being so vulnerable. I see your posts from time to time, and I think you bring delightful energy here by being positive. I never know you're dealing with this.
Seeing your posts here makes me feel hopeful that some people can act good and kind towards others. I hope you extend that kindness to yourself. 💕. Everyone has their own issues, and I hope you can deal with them while also being kind to yourself.
You have so much love to offer to the world. 💕. I hope you know that. I'm rooting for you. It's hard dealing with any kind of addiction. Please seek support when you're dealing with it daily. Take care.
Think positively.... You know what you don't like and you know how you got there. Now that you have reached this level of awareness of what you don't want to be you owe it to yourself to make positive changes. I am the male version of you. I have thought and felt exactly what you are experiencing and I am ready for change! I am going to start by cleaning up my diet and daily walking for now. Will you make a pledge to yourself that you will take what you know and make the necessary changes for a healthier you? I think you are deserving and worth it so do what you have to do! Best wishes for your journey!
@jesusredeemedme2425
I can feel the emotions with which you have written this.
We are here with You for all the support you need.
Sending Love beams to you 💕