Holidays Support Thread - You're Not Alone
Hi, everyone!
The holiday season is often associated with joy and cheer, but for many people, it can be a difficult and lonely time. For those who have lost loved ones, the holidays can be a reminder of their absence. For those who are struggling financially, the holidays can be a source of stress and anxiety. For those who are facing health issues, the holidays can be a reminder of their physical and mental struggles.
No matter what the situation, the holidays can be a difficult time for many people. The pressure to be happy and festive can be overwhelming and can lead to feelings of guilt and sadness. Even if you’re surrounded by family and friends, it can still be hard to find joy in the season. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to not be merry and bright during the holidays.
If there is anything on your mind please do not hesitate to reach out to us here or in any way you may feel comfortable during the holidays.
@CheeryMango
This is too thoughtful, and rightly timed, thankyou, Mango! ❤
Sending lots of comfy hugs and love to everyone coming across! ❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
lol I'm getting diabetic!
@bubblePondz Lol xD this love is safe in every way! 🤗
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
im afraid. i have so many family members and its just too much. idk what to do. they all judge me bcus of how skinny and ugly i am. it also doesnt help that i have 4 sides of family to deal with (my parents divorced and remarried) i just.... i cant deal with this. plus i start year 8 at school in a few months and i already get bullied enough. i just cant stop stressing
@kiara2009
oop sorry that was ment for mango @mango
Thank you so much for posting this! Really needed to hear that today. I always loved Christmas and all the holidays in general but now, with depression I just don't feel like celebrating at all. I kinda miss the old me. But at least I'm happy that my surroundings understood my situation and the way I feel, so I at least don't feel guilty about not being happy. But I still wish I hadn't Christmas holidays. I would rather go to school because it keeps me busy and helps me to not be alone with my dark thoughts.
@23helicopters that makes sense to wanting to keep busy and away from the thoughts... we can try still maybe with coping strategies? Any ideas you have that may help you keep busy and make you feel better? any hobbies etc you like or would like to indulge in?
for being alone ... I really hope 7 cups helps with it, there's forums, rooms and also listeners if you wanna talk to someone ... you can tag me in forums also if you feel lonely or want to talk or even just for a silent company or a virtual hug 💕 I hope we all can push through these days together
@Optimisticempath I really love volunteering so I hope I will be able to do that during the holidays. Tbh I stopped almost all my hobbies because of depression so apart from volunteering I don't even know what to do.
@23helicopters depression comes with its friends always to name a few, demotivation, uninterested, numb etc ... it is really not your fault here... feeling the lack of energy and motivation for hobbies is valid , depression affects us in more than one ways 😔
it is so nice that you have something to look forward for, volunteering is an awesome idea. What kind of volunteering you're considering?
also hobbies... what did you enjoy earlier? would you like to try something again this season? maybe it'll help you keep busy also 💕
@Optimisticempath I would like to volunteer for the protection of the environment and helping stray animals. I would like to volunteer in loads of other fields but as I don't have so much time I need to pick only 2 or 3.
I used to enjoy drawing, painting, singing and going on hikes. I think imma try drawing again but I'm not so sure about that.
@23helicopters sounds quite noble and amazing, go for it already!!
these are nice hobbies, whats making you feel unsure about them?
Thank you!! I'm definitely gonna go for it!!
So I loved drawing, but now I'm most of the time scared to be alone with my thoughts so only thinking about being alone with my thoughts for half an hour makes me uncomfortable. 🥲 That's why I prefer volunteering rn as it constantly keeps me busy. I'm not sure what to do about it but on Tuesday I'm seeing a therapist so hope it'll help me , not immediately ofc but maybe after several appointments I'll feel better 🥺
And btw thank you so much for replying to me!!! That's really sweet of you💖
@23helicopters
i feel the discomfort staying alone with my thoughts also ... scary experience haha 0 stars not recommended 😅
I have seen many people use their art to express themself, share their thoughts and feelings... some like to draw, paint, write stories or song lyrics or anything at all ... do you think creating art could be a way for you to express these thoughts also? letting them out of your mind even if little by little ? would that help?
does music help you block or distract from your thoughts? something like plugging in some music and then trying to draw or whatever hobby you wanna engage with.
I'm really happy to know you'll be talking to your therapist about this and I see you're hopeful for feeling better in your time also and that makes me so much proud of you 🤗
you don't need to thank me really ... I'm just happy it helped in someway 🥺💖
Maybe it will help. I'm gonna try this during the holidays , which is in one week 🥲. Music kinda helps me but not all the time. Sometimes I'm just so sad that I can cry for hours and music doesn't help at all. It can help me only when I am a little upset or anxious but not when my emotions are really intense, and they most of the time are.
Honestly I'm trying my best to convince myself that there's hope but deep down I don't feel any 😂 . It's been such a long time since I felt hopeful that I already forgot how it feels. Honestly to me my future just seems dark and without any happy things but well I'll see😂
U really made me feel a bit better so thank you so much!!! No one put so many efforts to reply back to me , so I feel kinda weird and guilty that u spend time to reply to me but thank you so much💖💖 ur so kind!
@23helicopters
it's ok to have something that works even a little we can keep trying to find other coping ways also... does anything else help with intense emotions? maybe journaling?
aw I feel the pain behind the laughing emoji and I want to huggie you 🥺 you not alone oki, hope does seem very bleak at times ... I don't have much to say about it either.. kinda hopeless too xD but i guess we can just try doing our best everyday and not think too much into future ... at least I try not to think too much about it .. or i end up curling into an anxious ball lmao..
I know how it feels when someone takes the time to make us feel less alone and better, it feels both nice and uncomfy because why in the world would we have the audacity to think someone would spare some time and be kind to us right? 😂 ..
I think the same often so I feel you lol but reallly you deserve someone listening to you and making you feel better .. glad I got to be this someone this time... you don't have anything to feel guilty or weird about really... I'm happy you opened up and shared and I can do it all again 💕💕 so really you can tag me anytime you want to talk about anything!
Well, journaling doesn't help AT ALL !! It's really frustrating but I still try to do it but with no positive results as it's making me even more upset that it doesn't help. I thought about volunteering in a shelter as I really like animals. I hope it will help me to feel a lil better and make me feel useful , because rn I just feel useless to society but I really wanna help and contribute, even if a little, to make the world a better place.
Tbh I can't not think about the future because I gotta chose rn who I want to become in the future so it stresses me out so much! I have no idea of what I wanna do in the future so I'm lost and I don't wanna f up , like I don't wanna chose a career I'll hate later but how am I supposed to know tho😭
it seems like everyone in my class has already decided what career they want to do except for me! It really sucks! I hate this situation!
Here , in high-school u need to take 3 majors but the problem is, if say u take economy, English and Maths for example you will not be able to apply to medical school, and that's the majors I took because I thought that I will study marketing and finance in the future but it turns out I hate economy , or maybe it's just the way the teacher teach us🥲 but anyways now I wanna go to a med school in order to be a psychiatrist but had now idea how to apply as now it's gonna be super hard to change majors. Gosh why it has to be so hard.
Gosh u described this feeling so well😂 Thank u so so much!!! That feels really good to be listened to without being judged and criticized for once. Thank youuuu!!!! Ur amazing 💛💛💛 I would love to talk to u by pm but I dunno how to do as I'm relatively new here 😂😂
@CheeryMango,
Hi, Mango, I would love to have people irl to celebrate the seasons with, but I don't seem to. I'll reach out to a couple people who I thought were new friends, but maybe they're not. So, I'll try to be here with my 7cups family/tribe.
I feel a little weird during the holidays when people at work ask who I'm spending the holidays with. I feel like a weirdo who must have some weird problems because she doesn't have any friends, and her family doesn't even want to spend the holidays with her.
No, I have no proof that people say or think that. It's just the way I feel. It makes it harder to feel festive.
@purpleTree4652
Hey hey lovely Tree, good to see you always.
It is valid to question the wrongs or feel clueless when someone asks who we are celebrating holidays with, I guess it's one of those "chitchat-ice breakers" for this time of the year lol, some would genuinely like to know what we are doing, with whom etc (so it's kinda nice to have someone care enough), but othertimes it's just people who would simply try to drive a conversation somewhere trying to make a casual chat.
Eitherway, There's absolutely nothing wrong or stupid about not having someone in-person to celebrate with. I'm so proud of you for trying and being open to company of some friends, makes sense to feel hesitant about approaching them, so no pressure at all, if you plan to approach I hope it turns out well.
In any case, be assured, you've got *you*, Chloe 🐱 and as you said, your 7 cups family/ tribe at all times and we are more than excited to celebrate it together, with you~ the thought and spirit that count after all. ❤
I might bring virtual pizza and chocolate chip cookies to the table, how about you? Any favorites? :D
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thank you, You.
Just some fruit and salad.
@purpleTree4652 A healthy and yum choice woohoo!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hi, You,
How is your holiday going?
@purpleTree4652
Hiya thankyou, for asking, it's been going okay for me. How about you?<3
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hi, You,
It's ok so far. I can't wait for the freezing weather to end. And we are past the stretch of time where I had to stress myself over sending my toxic sister a christmas card or not. i've been worrying that i should have and that i am the one at fault. But then I remembered how toxic she has intentionally been to me, and decided not to send one. Still, I blamed myself. But that time is over. I held strong and didn't let her control me with guilt.
@purpleTree4652
Hey hey Tree!
Aww I understand what a difficult situation it must be, and the self-blaming doesn't help here at all. You stood up for yourself, against the guilt also, despite the difficulty you experienced internally and it's so brave of you. I'm really proud of you, Tree, it is in these (not-so) little ways we acknowledge and become more self compassionate. You truly deserve some peaceful time also. The freezing weather sure is uncomfortable, I like the winter weather when it's not too harsh or stuff, but ofcourse that depends where we are also hehe. Sending some warm sunny beams to keep you cozy! Keep safe. ❤
A necessary thread for this time of year...
[Warning: Rant Below]
I am not a Christian, never been one & have no interest in being one, so I'm left out on Christmas. Am also disgusted by the or¶y of commercialization around the holiday, one that starts way too early, turns all gifts into commodities & eviscerates whatever meaning Christmas once had...I've hated it for a few years now. Though I'm not religious at all, I would have some respect for Christmas if it were actually about Jesus instead of one big "sale"--of products which had previously inflated prices, so the sale doesn't actually save anyone any money. And let's not forget Santa, that fat p*rv*rt in a red suit who--when he's not breaking into homes & leaving cheap consumer goods in people's living rooms--sits in shopping malls & lures small children onto his lap...& has pictures taken of it, no less!
"And what would you like for Christmas, little girl?"...*leering grin underneath his fake beard* 🤢
Ditto most of the above for Hanukkah.
In all honesty I don't do holidays in general. They're nice as a day off or to break the daily routine...or they would be if I was healthy enough to work regularly. Which I'm not. But even when I was working, I found most holidays nonsensical & asinine. The only exception was Halloween...I liked it when I was younger. These days I ignore it as best I can, like every other holiday.
Like all socially isolated folks, I am quite alone during the holidays. But if I could have anyone around, the one holiday I would celebrate would be Festivus Day. Including the Airing of Grievances & the Feats of Strength!
[rant over]
Very well written.
I get seasonal depression and feel homesick and always have financial struggles. The time without warmth and sun really does a downer on me. I feel homesick because I grew up in a town called North Pole. Even the street lights are candy canes! And my mom is big on Christmas. Always decorating and making cooking and stuff. I feel bad and guilty about the financial struggles because I’m having too many health issues to get a job.
I don’t know why I’m typing all this out.
@SarineLewis Because you were hoping someone would read it? (I did!...) Or because you know this is a safe place to air one's lack of enthusiasm for seasonal absurdities? I'm just shooting from the hip here...
Why. do. some. of. my. biological. family. members. not get along with me about holidays. Always expecting to act like some unclear, unspecified personality instead of myself. Don’t try to get me to be quieter. Do support me about speaking up. Don’t try to get me to leave family events. Do support me in staying and trying to have healthy relationships. It’s that simple. Why? What is with the g-d panic they have that just doesn’t let us be ourselves at the gatherings where we’re all there? Why is it me they always blame when we don’t all agree on what to do? My other family members don’t do this. The ones in Iran are usually so happy when I join for Yalda (Persian celebration for the longest night of the year in winter) or Nowruz (Persian new year holiday usually in March). The ones in Florida think I’m tons of fun and cute and I try hard. But Thanksgiving and Christmas with the ones in my part of Virginia? Ooooof. I always end up basically getting told I’m acting like a *** by the tone of their voice. I always end up seeing a look that says, “[insert real name] 😟, please don’t.” Last year, on Thanksgiving, my mom just outright told me again and again that I should leave. Then this year, she didn’t get why I felt I would be so unwanted on the holidays and felt I was a holiday-ruiner.
accept me or at the very least, let me know ahead of time why you don’t want me to do x/y/z so I can try to find some solution that works for both sides and can feel there’s a good reason instead of just that my family members would rather delete these parts of my personality
also, stop moving my mobility devices and my purse full of my emergency meds without my permission, but that’s a different point
@TheComedianDreamer After reading that, I'm wondering why you bother with the relatives in W. Va at all...it sounds like your other family in Iran is much easier to get along with in general.
As a Jew in a southern town who is probably not as closeted as I think I Am... they usually think I'm gay .Which probably is more acceptable than Jew I try to do the Christ thing without success. Christ has no meaning to me. I firmly believe when the real savior arives...and If I am still alive I'll let you know. Even If I am not my people will let you know.. I don't look totally Jew but my mother was. I'm part of the tribe. And those are the peopleI am moat comfortable around.
I always feel alone. I live alone. I work from home most of the time, and I don’t have many friends. The friends I do have do not seem to be very good friends. I always imagined growing up and having a husband and having him buy me things for Christmas. I imagined having a nice house. Instead I am VERY lonely. My house is a wreck, and so am I.
Yeah I definitely feel the pressure. I don't even celebrate the houldays because i don't have anyone lol and i don't even have a Christmas tree. It's like most days, because there's not much to do, and i wish there was.
@resourcefulPlace2393 theres still time, do you wanna get yourself a christmas tree this year and decorate it yourself? Or even get one of those smaller fake ones that dont need much work either. you've got yourself and 7 cups here to celebrate with you ... we can share virtual hot cocoa and be together that's all 💖
anyway you wanna celebrate this time ....you are allowed to!
I needed to see this today, I couldn’t have come across this post at a better time. My mood has been up and down today, and holidays are a bit rough for me. One of my two uncles passed away in 2019, my mom passed away unexpectedly in 2020, my second uncle he passed away in 2021. So my immediate family is down to just my 83 year old grandmother and I. I’m sending love to everyone here.
@blueSea4088
God bless you and I'm so sorry for your losses.
