I Often Wonder…
I wonder how many people would still be my friends if I stopped texting them… How many would reach out to me, remember I exist.
Not just the whole “would they reach out to me”, but who’s a friend of convenience? How many just talk to me because I’m just… there? How many would disappear into the shadows if unpursued?
How many people on 7Cups would still be my friend if I didn’t constantly serve, post, pursue?
How many friends would I have at work if I left? Maybe one?
How long must I feel alone, even at church? Unwelcome? Having people in a YA group I tried looking at me like I grew horns every time they see me in the room?
You're harder to forget than you think! I feel like the church group you mentioned is different than any other friends you talk about here, and it's the difference to being welcome. If people welcome you into their life, there's a reason, and you do make an impact. The others just sound... Un-open.
But as a person who struggles with this kind of thinking all the time, I think it's better to just remember how you would welcome them back. Chances are that there's always levels that you'll be important to them on, and could be again.
I have the same thoughts sometimes!
Can we be friends??
Absolutely <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 I'm your friend forever 💖 even if we are thousands of miles apart you will always be part of my heart💖 I will never forget the kindness, love, support you show me and everyone here 💖 I'll never forget how your not afraid to reach out for help when you need it, I'll never forget your humour💖 I'll never take our friendship for granted, I love you girl 💖 always will 💖
Awww I love you too sis <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Awww <3
Same thoughts , if you don’t reach out first and give them benefits
they don’t even notice your existence!
I have the same thoughts sometimes it can be really draining
@jesusredeemedmd2425 I dont know about how many would reach out to anyone if we disconnect ... but I think people live on through the hearts of those they've touched and so will you. ❤️
I used to think of that a lot once upon a time. And I began to put it to an experiment (this story is about 10 years back from now). Like not connect with friends or family for a bit. And guess what? No one cared except for one person: my mom. And for that gift im grateful to God and it did steer me in the direction of my purpose... even when we dont get along the best, i still owe my loyalty to her the most....
otherwise of course it was very depressing to know no one remembered me. But after a while I found a great sense of liberation... I just felt i was freed from the "need" to be wanted... I exist for myself and that's enough for me.. if someone cares, its a bonus and reflection of God's grace.
I have been touched by a lot of people im no longer in touch with but something kind stirs in me with those memories of love.... so the effect remains even if there is no active pursuit of a person..
There are also bad memories and I guess that just itches your heart a bit .... so that just gives me a motivation to be gentler to others so that I may not be that 'bad memory' for someone...
Gosh im going on and on here with my philosophies....
Back to YOUR concern....
Kiara im positive people will inquire of you if youre not around.. world is kind and so are you ... lots of love ❤️
@jesusredeemedme2425
If you stopped messaging me, at first I would just think it a little odd. As time went by, I would become sad, and it would undoubtedly make me cry. I would reach out, but as I respect you I would try to think of it from your perspective.
Maybe something had happened? Maybe you had more important things to worry about. Maybe I had misstepped and the silence was justified. Regardless, it would hurt, and I would have to find a way to deal. Of course I would always welcome you back!
It reminds me of a friend (?) of mine. We went to university together for a year. Got quite close. Life took us in different directions though, and I simply couldn't keep up the constant communication.
I thought they knew I struggled with depression and other things and I was on my last legs. I would reach out occasionally as I valued them greatly, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I had failed to jump through social hoops and that hurt them enough that I don't think there's any message I could send that would fix things.
Perhaps it was just a friendship of convenience. There's no way I could have known. But the experience was still good and I refuse to close my heart to others.
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. To feel alone in company is hard to handle. You leave a special impression on people though, you are loved. Whether or not people will reach out if there's some silence is up to them, it's out of your control. If they judge you for absence, that shines a light on their character.
You are a good person worth knowing and respecting. You don't need to be performative for me! Take as much time as you need, I'll always be here for you. There are ostensibly many on this forum that feel the same, and I find it hard to imagine people in real life would be much different.
Uncertainty sucks!
@jesusredeemedme2425 I won't forget you 💜🥰
As a retired guy who also quit social media, I can tell you that my “friends” all disappeared. In reality they weren’t friends at all, but acquaintances. Your true friends will be there.