I'm always taking care of others, but who will take care of me?
I have good friends and they're supportive and great listeners when I go to them, but I also feel like I'm always the one checking in with people or asking them how they are doing first.
I feel tired. Everybody is scattered everywhere across the world, and I have nobody I can just go and hangout with.
People are nice enough, but I just feel so alone.
I'm doing a lot to take care of myself as best I can, but sometimes, I just feel like, who will take care of me? Why won't anyone ask after me? When will I be acknowledged?
@veryberrybunny
It is very hard to be the one ... the one who texts / sends card recognizes B-days or special occasions.
Yet if we do not call/text our phone is silent....It is OK to want others to check in on us... to text /call for small reasons or just say "hello how are you doing?"
I honestly think it should be an ad campaign ... so many people simply alone because the calls/ texts are not coming pick up a phone an app or whatever and say what's up and remind your friends that phones work both ways....
I agree. I don't mind being the person to reach out, but if I'm always the one to do it, it gets tiring.
I don’t have much advice on this, but know that you are not alone! I feel this deeply. It’s so hard to be the one who is always there for everyone else and feel invisible to those you are there for. It’s super isolating! When I start getting into this mindset I try to distract my brain and think of the positives in my life or go on a walk, watch reels, etc. I remind myself that I am strong and worthy of loves my worth does not depend on the actions of others.
I do few the same and try to do this things too when I miss them. But it's better to let them initiate too.
Distractions can be helpful. We are all coping as best we can.
But they still don't replace the lack of interactions, and they don't fulfil you in the same way.
I feel this too ?
@veryberrybunny
It’s great that you have been taking care of others. It’s a commendable quality. But my advice is you’ve done enough or more than enough for others and it’s time for you to take care of yourself now.
@akunknown Need that self care. Agreed. Appreciate your words friend.
@competentTruth3079
Thank you so much. Your comment was wonderful and I loved reading every word of it my friend ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ and lots and lots of hugs.
Of course, I always try to take care of myself too, but it's not always easy or possible to do so, and it doesn't make up for the feelings of exhaustion and isolation. I'm doing my best, and I know there's nothing I can do to change my situation. It just feels a bit unfair that I'm always the one to do everything for myself. That's all.
@veryberrybunny It can very much feel as if a great betrayal to support all the time, and then I suppose we naturally expect our care kudos to be returned only to find ourselves, empty, alone and abandoned like what the heck.
I feel you on that. Not so much self care as it is, a feeling of a mutual communion and reciprocation. Shatters our foundation of mutual support, and depletes us of desire to continue to offer which isn't returned. 💔
I can totally relate to what you're saying. For years, I've been that guy, who steps up to help, listens for hours, hosts the parties, and keeps the band together.
As time goes on, I hear about others and their exploits on social media, but the phone never rang and the text never buzzed with an invitation.
I had my kids after everyone else, and I guess that was enough for me to fall off the radar. Now I have teens, who never want to hang out, and my wife is annoyed with the teens and too tired to do anything, so I'm left with me...
Small problems, I know, but the hollow feelings hurt.
@FindUPAgain those are not small problems
Yeah. It's lonely sometimes.
I'm sorry you're going through this too. It's hard feeling disconnected from those that are around us. Maybe you'll get some quality time in with the end of year holidays just around the corner?
me too it's ok we are strong and good and full of light. anyone who you ask will tell you
All the best to you too.
You sound like an amazing friend! And I can understand how difficult that must feel. In situations like this, the only advice I know to offer is to ask them directly. It’s hard, but communication is so, so vital in any form of relationship.
And right now, things might feel hopeless, but theywill get better. Just don’t give up ❤️
Thanks. I've communicated my concerns before, and my friends always have good intentions. I don't think it's their fault they get busy or they have other priorities in their lives right now. That's just the stage of life we're at.
It doesn't make them bad friends, and I don't want to drop them for it, but even though I can accept this is just the way things are going to be despite everyone's best intentions, I can't help but feel tired.
@veryberrybunny Think of yoruself as a nation, one needs to take care of the homefront, perhaps more so than foreign affairs. Vote self care for president.
@veryberrybunny
This sounds a tough one bunny.
You do sound like a really good friend to have but I get your frustration of it only being a one way street. Sorry, I’m not sure what the answer is but certainly keep on prioritising the self care for yourself.
Sending support and best wishes ❤️
Rosie 🌹
Thanks Rosie. It's nice to be validated.
How have you been today?