Im failing hard in life

@moonoquq It looks like you are under pressure because you are unsure about your future, your career and your romantic life. But you are not alone. Every teen experiences this feelings. But with time, as you grow, everything will fall into place. Right now, you can take a deep breaths and think about your goals for life. Maybe write them dowm as well as the steps you need ro take to achieve them.

Please don't give up! It gets better and I know that it's hard. I wish that I could give you advice but, I don't have any. I understand how you feel, a few months I felt the same way and I can relate to your feelings of failing at relationships. They've never worked for me either that much. It always feels like I'm the one putting in the most effort. I think you could talk to your friends about how you feel though. They might not hate you and if they do, it's better to leave them.

I understand what you’re going through , Don’t give up you’re so young and I am sure your parents love you so very much and your friends as well they wouldn’t want to lose you. I just lost my father to suicide march 25 and he was living with me and I found him and I am devastated blaming myself it’s so hard to motivate to do anything anymore . I feel bad I feel so sad because I have kids that need me . I feel like things are never going to get better but everyone says it will in time . Just try to hang in there and I’m always here to talk if you need someone

Reaching out to someone can be difficult if you've never felt comfortable or safe enough to do so. But that doesn't mean you're not worth it. You're pain is more than validated. Don't stress yourself so much with having to decide a career right now. Life is constantly changing. Start with something that doesn't feel like so much stress on your heart or head. I have had the best friend group and 4 years ago they all left me behind. I have one friend now. Relationships are also very difficult for me. I don't trust easily. But that doesn't mean there's not someone out there willing to fight for you. Be there for you despite it all. It just takes time. The good things usually take time. And sometimes it sucks can it can make you feel desperate. Being happy isn't something you have to be all the time. But it's important to cherish it, even if that happiness didn't last long enough. Don't push your feelings down to force yourself to be in a state of emotion where it only causes you more destress. If you feel like giving up then do so, but only for the moment. Take a rest, a breather. And start again the next day. You're here on earth for a reason. Take a day by day. The world can be yours, you just have to be willing to wait for the right moment for things to finally fall into place.

@moonoquq

I hear how heavy things feel for you right now, and I want you to know, just sharing all of this takes a lot of courage and self-reflection. Putting this out there is a great first step. It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed with everything on your plate: turning 18, finding a job, figuring out your future, relationships, and all those emotions on top of it. That’s a lot for anyone to carry.

Feeling like you “should” be happy when you’re not can make the pain even more confusing. It’s okay to not be okay, even if things look fine on the outside, or your parents are spending money on you. Feeling like you "should" feel a certain way can invalidate your emotional experience. Your feelings are 100% real and OK.

You’re not alone in this. And even if you’re not sure about therapy, there are still safe spaces and people who care. I’m here to listen without judgment, as are all 7 Cups listeners!

There are lots of resources just here on 7 Cups, or you could refer to hotlines such as 988, which are all anonymous. If you'd like, you could try reaching out to a school counselor if you'd prefer to be in-person. The general point is that you don’t have to do it all alone. You matter, and there are people and resources for you.

@moonoquq

Hello 😊 I am afraid there is no therapy dedicated to becoming an adult person. But if you feel your self-esteem is rather low and you find it difficult to get into a connection with other people, some therapy or other support (like here) could be beneficial.

What would you think about some prioritising?

I believe finding a job (or a professional course leading to a job) might be a good starting point, giving you a sense of independence and control.

You can meet some new people while working (co-workers, clients) and maybe some of them would be honoured to be your friends. Though maybe it's not too good to put all your eggs into one basket - so, what about finding some new friends outside workplace?

Do you have any hobbies or friend circles connected with some group activities (like attending a book club meetings, sharing your experiences, volunteering or going to the gym)?

Finding a sweetheart (or letting them find you 😊) might be the most difficult part, but I started dating in my early 20s, and found the love of my life in my 40s. And I believe there is no fixed universal timeframe for everybody - that is OK to look forward to what your life brings, without too much pressure.

Hang in there. 18 is a hard age. All of a sudden you're supposed to be an adult and know what to do with your life. Very few people come out of highschool knowing where the should be going next. Some do, many others just do what's expected of them. The fact that you don't have everything figured out just proves that you're human. If you really have no clue, I'd suggest taking a year to work and really think about it. Finding your career right out of highschool isn't necessary. You don't have to start where you want to finish.

As for friends, I definitely get where you're coming from. But I can tell you from personal experience that unless they've said something directly to you, or done things that make it obvious, you're probably projecting your own insecurities. That doesn't mean that you'll be life long friends or anything. I don't have any friends from highschool and part of it is my belief that everyone just put up with me, but truthfully, not everyone develops long term friends in adolescence.

You shouldn't be hard on yourself for not being happy either. Just because you're better off than other people, or have the things that society says should make you happy, means nothing. You have to figure out what makes you happy and go from there. If you're suffering from depression that presents even more obstacles. Give yourself some grace. You're allowed to feel what you feel.

message me

I am 39 years old and have been through homelessness.

You even being concerned about this stuff is a good sign. Your first job isn't gonna be your last job so don't worry about WHAT that job is - you'll be learning new things regardless and that's a valuable experience. As far as a career... I don't know who told you you have to figure that out at 18 but they probably had their whole life planned FOR them. In reality, most people end up jumping career desires 2 to 3 times in their life. A person will go to college for one thing and either won't be able to break into that field or realize that they were never actually interested in that thing.

Life is for living. Plan too much and you'll both 1) be disappointed by how no plan survives reality and 2) so rigidly tied to some plan that life loses its flavor.

You do not have to figure it all out right now. Just keep living and learning. That's part of figuring it out anyway.

I feel you.

I'm also like this, never happy.

It's not okay but we have to make okay by accepting ourselves with our suffering and making something special out of it.

I hope you get better :) and if you needed an ear or support please feel free to reach out to me. Take care of yourself.