I'm sick of being treated like a dumb child
Where to begin ? I'm 18 and I still love with my parents
To begin with, for my 18th birthday I wanted a few friends to come home. But my father didn't want to see them and talk to them so I ended up spending my birthday with only my boyfriend.
I never spent a birthday with friends. Even if it was my 18, I couldn't. Why ? What did I do to you ? I never asked anything like this. He could have said yes.
And even after this, I'm the one who's being called an egoist.
After my 18, I thought i was now an adult and I would stop being treated like a child. I thought i would be more free.
Wrong. My father still wants to punish me whatever I do or say, and talks to me as if I was a dumb kid.
For example the other day i was talking about stuff I was doing on ***. When I saw he was looking angry at the fact I was using ***, I told him i was mature enough to know I mustn't tell my adress, real name and credit card number with people I don't know irl. Afterwards he just answered me "no you're not".
Geez, I'm not a *** ! Stop treating me like this already !
Or just if I tell something and explain it a bit too much he just tells me to stop analysing deeply everything I say. Please can I just think the way i think ? Can you accept my brain doesn't work like yours ?
Man I feel so frustrated here. I want to leave. I want to be happy.
My boyfriend already told me I should run away and come live with him and his mom. He's right, he's the only person i feel good and can be myself with. But still, I'm scared. I don't know why but I couldn't accept his offer. It's dumb but it's true. He offers me a way to leave and be happy, and I can't accept. And I just feel even weaker, small and worthless.
I'm just stuck in a cycle of frustration and self loathing. I don't even wanna get up in the morning. I need to be distracted all the time otherwise my brain is too loud. I must be treated like the dumb child, hearing my dad and little bro making fun of me.
Let's talk a bit about my brother too. Even if my dad yells at him, he always ends up hugging him and making him laugh. That's something he never ever did with me. I don't want his love but still it's just adding to my frustration.
I want to cry and break everything around me, but I can't find the energy to do so. I want to run away and be alone. I want to go somewhere where I can be treated like an adult, and where I feel loved.
I want to be happy and be able to look at myself in the mirror, and stop hating on my small and weak body.
I read your post and honestly… my heart feels heavy for you.
You’re 18 years old, but your dad still treats you like a little kid who doesn’t know anything. That “you’re not mature enough” comment, the way he talks down to you, the constant criticism… it’s exhausting and painful. No wonder you’re so frustrated and just want to scream or run away.
It sounds like no matter what you do, it’s never enough, and you’re always the “selfish” or “stupid” one in his eyes. Even on your 18th birthday, you couldn’t celebrate with friends because of him. That’s really unfair.
And the comparison with your brother… that must hurt even more. Seeing him get hugs and comfort while you get scolded and mocked — it’s like you’re invisible or always doing something wrong.
It’s completely valid that you want to leave. Wanting to live somewhere you’re treated like an adult and actually loved is not weak — it’s normal. At the same time, I also hear how scared you are to take that step, even when your boyfriend offered you a way out. That fear doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human, especially when you’ve been controlled for so long.
You’re not useless. You’re not small and weak. You’re someone who’s been carrying a lot of pain and still trying to find a way to breathe.
Right now it sounds like your mind is really loud and you’re using distraction just to survive the day. That’s okay for now. But you deserve a life where you don’t have to numb yourself every morning.
I’m here to listen if you want to vent more — about your dad, your brother, the fear of leaving, or anything else. You don’t have to figure everything out today.
You’re allowed to want happiness. You’re allowed to want to be treated with respect.
@thoughtfulSkies8713
if you want to be treated differently, what changes have you made? just turning 18 does not magically fix a child- parent relationship. Yes, he could have said yes to having friends over. Did you ask and listen to any reason he chose to say NO.
Have you had a real conversation with your parents and work on creating a different dynamic. when people grow up the transition to a more adult type of relationship takes time. Running away to your BF or just complaining is not helping to try to not look like a child.
Your dad has a different relationship with your brother have you ever told your dad you would like a closer relationship?
Being an adult is having hard conversations and clear discussions.
@thoughtfulSkies8713 I am so sorry you're feeling this way. While, yes, 18 is legally an adult... you are still a child. You're the child of your dad and mom and that does not just change or because you are 18. I know you may be feeling frustration, but may I offer you a new perspective and way of thinking?
Never leave your house. Nobody can replace patents. your boyfriend might get tired of your after someone but your parents will always be there for you.
@TripleMango This is exactly what I was hoping OP would come to. In my post above I asked OP to really think why didn't accept the offer to up and leave and move in with boyfriend. I just didn't want to say that anything could happen between the 2 of them and if break up... then what? Parenting is definitely one of the hardest jobs there is. Parents worrying about their children doesn't just stop when that child turns 18 or 80. It's a lifetime worry and forever love no matter what.
Yes. and she's still young. When I was 18. My parents stopped me from many things that I did not like and agree with but it's because I was silly. Now I understand why he stopped us. And sadly now he is not here that is the saddest part.
@TripleMango Awww, I'm sorry. You weren't silly. You were just young. But as we age, our way of thinking changes and we mature. 😀 When we were younger, we just couldn't see it. It changes though and then we have a new appreciation and respect for our parents. ❤️
we've been in a relationship for more than two years, he's the one who's offering me a way out and we often imagine a life where we live together and we're ready to get married whenever we can. it's not a fragile relationship where we could break up just for small fights. we already had quite big fights but always managed to get along and stop fighting.
it's not a fragile relationship and ideation. it's a way out.
we've been in a relationship for more than two years, he's the one who's offering me a way out and we often imagine a life where we live together and we're ready to get married whenever we can. it's not a fragile relationship where we could break up just for small fights. we already had quite big fights but always managed to get along and stop fighting.
it's not a fragile relationship and ideation. it's a way out.
@thoughtfulSkies8713
Been there for the longest time and I’m still there so I definitely understand and know how you feel and am here for you if you wanna talk so you don’t have to hold it in.
This has been my life experience since I first existed as I still live with my mom and my stepdad. So for me the only difference is it’s not my dad causing me any problems, it’s my mom and stepdad who are doing that.
Outside of this community I don’t actually have any friends. As someone who’s spent every birthday without any friends I’m happy you at least got to spend your 18th birthday with your boyfriend. It’d have been worse if you didn’t spend it with him considering how your dad wouldn’t allow you to spend it with your friends. By the way happy birthday to you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
As someone who’s never spent any birthdays with friends I know how much that sucks. It doesn’t sound like he gave any valid reasons for why he didn’t allow your friends over for your birthday which he could’ve given and it wouldn’t hurt if he did. In fact it would actually make this situation a little more easier to deal with if reasons were given.
I’m sorry you have to live with this every year when your birthday comes. You being called an egoist is just making an already bad situation so much worse than it already gets every year.
I’d certainly consider you an adult now. Idk if you have the necessities to do this but in terms of age specifically you can move out to your own place bc based on what you’re saying it seems like the situation will keep getting worse, not better unfortunately.
And you’re not weak. The fact that you’ve been living with this situation clearly shows how strong you are. I hope you know that. Sending you love and support and hugs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@thoughtfulSkies8713 ❤️
