I need some advice
About a month ago my best friend left me, and lately that let me to the worst depressive episode that I had since a little while, I'm lying awake every night crying my soul out, unable to stop, i can't stop looking at her profiles to see if she's online, if she maybe texts me, but it never happens. When she left it felt like a part of me went with her, I don't feel like myself, she was the most important Person in my life, she held me together, she was the first person to show me that I could maybe be worth something, to show me that there's people who care and want me in their life. But I guess that all just lasted those 2 years. It's been pretty normal that she would distance herself when she felt bad, but this time i couldnt really see a reason, i tried to talk to her about it, she didn't say much, just that she thinks the friendship doesnt make much sense basically. Tho it has to be a problem around me cause to all her other friends she still speaks normally. I really wonder what made her deside on not wanting to be friends with me anymore, and it also happened pretty suddenly. Maybe i got too boring? Maybe she found better friends? Everyone just keeps leaving me, there has to be a reason for that, right? I just really don't know how to handle the loss of this friendship as she really meant the world to me and was basically my reason to live. I don't know how to handle all of it in a healthy way. Can maybe someone give me advice on my situation and about what to do??
Thanks for reading! <3
I relate to you @Justnotleooo! I lost my best friend forever 💔 2 weeks ago.
We have to stay strong! 💪 Let's get through this and be better people.
Sending good vibes ✨️ to you.....!
I'm so so sorry that happened to you 💔
I hope you are okay, wishing you alll the best! 🫶
@Justnotleooo
I am sorry you are going thru this.
It never helps to turn on ourselves and assume it was somehow our fault. We all have done things that we could have done differently, but dwelling on that helps no one. We only have a forward not reverse in life.
Friendships in the best sense should be balanced. What was she getting out of friendship? If you made this friendship so important you felt this is what you lived for that is a lot of pressure on your friend. I do understand. I had friends that I enjoyed who I was when with them, so I tried to hang on too tight, and they felt it was too much. I try now to always be the friend to others like I would want in a friend.
I always tried to make her feel as important as she made me feel in the friendship, to try to be there for her just as much as she was there for me. For a long time we were the only friend that we had, We both were afraid that the other leaves, We were talking almost all day every day for at least a year and a half, until she found new friends, and that was okay for me, i was happy that she found new people that she felt connected with, and I told and tried to show her that. Tho then pretty suddenly she distanced herself. Maybe i was too much after all, maybe i shouldnt have tried talking to her as much after she found new people, maybe i was too clingy in a way, but I dont know if i will ever find out
@Justnotleooo
it is hard when a friend finds other friends it should not be a competition. but in a way it feels like it. give her time and she will include you more it is like when we get something new we tend to like the newness of a friendship or situation .
I really hope she comes back
Omiglob honey, I feel for you! Losing a friend hurts so much. Honestly I'm not sure that I've learned how to deal with this kind of situation, but I do have quite a bit of experience so I'll do my best for you.
I think the first step is to let yourself grieve! People leave us for lots of reasons, and we have to feel that pain. If we don't, it festers. Let yourself feel it, however it comes out. It's difficult, but it helps.
Moving on after grieving (or even while you're grieving) is huge too. This person was a beacon in your life, but now you have to find a new one. Maybe that's a new friend, a new hobby or a new job. It's important to keep moving forward to the best of your ability.
I struggle with abandonment issues, and I guess my best advice is to just keep putting yourself out there. We never know how long a person will be in our life, so it's important to cherish what we have while we have it. I'm sure you'll find your new bestie if you keep yourself available to others.
Actually, no. That advice is important, but not my best: learn to love yourself! You have so much to offer this world!! Coming to a place like this and talking about what's hurting you is a great first step. Affirmations, meditation, exercise, and self-care can also be helpful in finding self love. You won't always be around others, so learning to love yourself is invaluable in these moments of loneliness!
Anyhow, I hope you find any part of this helpful. Even if you don't, I wish you the best my dear. Good luck! 💖
Thank you so much for your words, I really appreciate it! ð«¶
I am a little scared to get closer to people now tho as all my best friends always left me... And I'm not sure how to find new people again... I dont think i will ever find anyone like her again, anyone who gets me like she did, anyone who i will feel as close to as her, if you know what I mean.
And i really dont know how to love and even like myself. I tried to find something likeable about myself so often but I just cant find anything. All my life everyone always told me how less I'm worth and how ugly and weird I am, and I dont know how to see anything else than that...
Guiltily, I do this to others when I’m at my lowest. I just don’t have the energy to maintain anything so my body goes into survival mode. And the harder people try to get closer to me the harder I push away. I’m the type to get better alone. Maybe she’s that way too?🥲 I’m sorry.
She is a little like that too, but every time that happened i just gave her time, she always came back. But this time i dont think its that, she talks to all her other friends normally and actively
