Is your worth tied to how much you help?
For most of my life, I learned that the safest version of me was the one who made other people comfortable. I was the peacemaker, the one who listened even when I was exhausted and the one who took care of things so no one would be upset.
Somehow, along the way, I confused being needed with being valued.
When I look back, I can see how early that pattern started. I became the emotional support system in my family long before I even understood the weight of it. I didn’t learn boundaries. I learned fawning. I learn to be agreeable to keep the peace.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking that my only worth comes from fixing, helping, or comforting others. Honestly, it’s exhausting.
But I’m trying to unlearn it gradually. I’m learning that being loved isn’t the same as being useful and I’m allowed to rest without earning it.
We deserve connections where we’re valued for who we are, not for how well we perform care.
I’m still learning but I want to believe this:
I am enough even when I’m not saving anyone.
@ZenArashi
Yes, this is true there always needs balance. I too at one point found myself being used for every crisis or issue, not appreciated for the effort I was giving.
@toughTiger6481
Yes, I think it’s about not to overextend yourself and burn yourself to keep others warm.
I did and let any little criticism from bullies get to me, even while sick I overworked myself. But I know better now. Can only try to forgive myself for being hard on myself
@secretFriend2402
Yes, we can be our worst critic. I’m glad you’re choosing to be kinder to yourself. Thanks for the reminder.
@ZenArashi
Yes, I was taken for granted many a times.
Now I've realised that my worth is not tied to how much I help others. My care and kindness is a gift, but my value comes from my very existence, my heart, and my humanity and not my output. Even when I’m not helping, I am still worthy.
@SimplyCompassionate
Well said, Compassionate. I relate to what you’ve mentioned.
Thanks for understanding ☺️
Hi
U r so true....I am so u....I understand how it feels.....I am always providing emotional support to everyone without realizing my requirements....it's heavy sometimes..
@Soothingheart1234
Yes, I feel we love helping and supporting others but we forgot our wellbeing matters too. I hope you’re feeling better these days.
Yes I am feeling better....thanks
This is me.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Do take care, Kiara 🤍 You are awesome.
Thank you <3
I agree with this statement. I have always tried to be useful. It was a revelation to just say to myself, “You are enough, just as you are this very moment.” Thank you for posting this good reminder and affirmation.
@PatienceImpatiens
Yes, I can relate to what you’ve mentioned. I hope your day will be filled with joy and serenity.
This hit me. I've been wanting to quit where I volunteer because I am taking on to much responsibility outside of it. I just don't have enough hours in the day. Yet, I feel this guilt inside me when I think about quitting. I feel like I will be judge.
@darkrose90
I applaud your passion in volunteering and please know you can’t pour from an empty cup. Hug if okay.
@ZenArashi
this hits me so hard, honestly. and, i'm so sorry you feel this way too... personally growing up where my family's love and support was tied to how much i achieved, i learnt that for everything, there should be a cost. and it shouldn't be this way. just realizing this is a big step, so i'm proud of you, and rooting for you💚