Need help💔

@moonlightinnight it does kinda sound like she's using you🙁 maybe messaging her telling her about your feelings and your friendship might be a good idea. I've never actually had friends outside cups, so I'm not great with advice here sorry😕 learning to say no, to set boundaries is incredibly difficult I understand that😥 but sweetie for your own well being I think it's important that you try to💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗 I really hope you'll be ok, we are all right here for you 💗

@moonlightinnight I'm so sorry to hear this :( it does sound like she could be using you. when you were more friends before did she ever like hangout with you normally? without asking for help and stuff? try to look back on that and see how she treated you most of the time. Also maybe try talking to her about it? maybe she'll open up or maybe she didn't realize she's like this or maybe she just wasn't treating you right. And it's great that you give her the notes and you're being helpful, but remember sometimes saying no is ok, maybe then that will make her realize that you felt like she was using you. I really hope everything works out for you and don't feel bad, we're here for you 🫶🫂

@moonlightinnight Hey! Sorry to hear you're feeling like this. It's great that you're willing to help but it's also totally okay to set boundaries and say no to giving her all your notes/everything from 10th grade, especially if you feel like you're being used. If you feel comfortable, consider talking to her about how you're feeling, but if you're uncomfortable with that then it's okay to give yourself some time and space away from her. Just take it easy and don't overthink it, your feelings matter!!

Hi moonlight. It does feel like she's using you. I understand the feeling, I've been there as well. However you cannot control people's actions towards you. But you can control your actions towards people. You are a good and kind person trying to help everyone and I'm not telling you to stop that. Not a lot of people are like this anymore, and the world needs you, however you need to put yourself first. You're way too young and you will learn from this experience. There's nothing you're doing wrong, but sometimes distancing yourself from these type of people, the ones who only take and are ungrateful.

Please don't feel bad anymore, it's not your fault and you can only learn from this.

Huge hug xxx

Hi moonlight!

I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. It does sound she is using you.

I understand how you feel, as I've been through this a few times.

You're a good and kind person and you shouldn't change who you are, people like you are scarce in this world.

Now, while you can't people's actions towards you, you can always assess the situation and change the way you approach to them if they are being rude, mean or ungrateful.

There's no need to feel bad anymore, yoi did nothin wrong . You are a young person, and I'm sure you will learn how to navigate these types of situations in the future, although you already sound very mature for your age.

Tons of hugs xxx

Hi Moonlight 

Hugs sweetie 🫶🏻 

She fires sound like she is using you for class materials. Please keep in mind that this is no reflection to you. She sounds as if she has a big ego with no conscious. I don’t know her but, from what I’m reading. ❤️ I think you are very kind and do go out of your way to help others. Not a bad thing. However, when people start to take advantage of our kind qualities, it is time to set boundaries. Friendship needs to have quality. Friendship needs to have a balance. Is she supportive of you? Does she ever just chat-well to chat? Do you do things together? If not, then it would feel so much better spending your time with people that value you and what you have to offer- not just your educational material. ❤️ You could simply tell her when the time is right, you no longer have it, no longer comfortable with that. I hope you are able to navigate yourself through this. Friendships in high school mean a lot but, good ones mean that much more 🫂 🥰 

I agree with most of what's been said here.  It really does seem like she's claiming to be a friend, but has disregarded treating you as a friend until she wanted something from you.  Such friendships can leave a person feeling quite lonely.  

I do have a theory though.  I suspect she's WAY behind in her school work, and she may even be repeating some classes because she didn't pay attention to the work when she should've.  Now, she's attempting to cash in on your hard academic work in order to get caught up.  

If she were willing to be honest to herself and you and admit that she's been a lousy friend and now is hoping you'll rescue her by sharing your work, I'd be tempted to go ahead and share it.  I'd do that, even while realizing that once she got what she wanted, she'd probably fade away as a friend again.  

I'd be inclined to share it, based on her courage to face the truth about her own poor habits, and that she may actually be grateful for the help rather than feel entitled to it due to her skill at manipulating you.  

If she's still not being honest, I'd be tempted to tell her that those materials no longer exist, or that you shipped them to a cousin on the opposite side of the country.  

Something else to consider is the concept of "enabling."  That's when you do something for, or give something to another person that "enables" them to continue with their bad habits or prevents them from having to face the consequences of their poor judgment.  

It's much better for allowing a young person to face such consequences than it is for them to get the idea that they can succeed in manipulating others into rescuing them for years after they become adults.  Sometimes, genuinely caring for someone is demonstrated by not fueling their bad habits.  

I explained the concept of enabling to my children and eventually they told me they were glad that I did.  

Yeah you have the rest of your adult life to find a person who will love you without needing you. Help this girl with her schoolwork if you want but don't let her convince you it's anything besides that. And don't convince yourself of it either.

@moonlightinnight

Girl I think so she is using u when ever she need help she come towards u but in normal days she forget u so u should talk with her and clearify it.🙃🍀✨

If someone only remembers about you and hits you up when things go wrong for them , or about to go wrong for them , that person is absolutely using you for their benefit. I can see that you expect a deeper bond between the two of you, and she’s not ready for that.

More chances you’ll give k more she will use you , and since it does bother you , I’d say stop helping her for some time. Or if you feel like you can make up your mind to not expect anything more than a small message from her , Carey on helping her.

I doubt she will ever be good friends with you though , so first you need to make up your mind that she won’t be your friend