Sometimes, I Wish Someone Just Understood....šæ
Hi everyone šæ
I wanted to share a quiet thought that many of us might have felt at some pointā¦
Sometimes, we donāt really want to explain everything weāre feeling.
Not because we donāt want to talkā¦ but because we donāt know how to put it into words.
There are moments when all we wish isā¦
someone understands us without us having to explain so much.
That silent feeling of,
āI wish someone just gets it.ā
Maybe itās because the emotions are too mixedā¦
or maybe weāre just tired of explaining again and again.
And sometimes, it feels easier to stay quiet than to try and be understood.
If youāve ever felt like this, youāre not alone in it š¤
š± Participation Questions:
Have you ever wished someone could understand you without you having to explain everything?
What makes it difficult for you to open up sometimes?
What kind of response or support helps you feel truly understood?
āØ A gentle reminder:
Itās okay if you donāt have the right words all the time.
Your feelings are still valid, even when theyāre hard to express.
And if you feel like sharingā¦ Iām here to listen.
Please feel free to talk, at your own pace š¼
I rarely feel heard or understood. Mainly people are putting in some obligatory time. MmmHmm. Yea ok.. Back to me now. My issues are way more important...
Pfft.
I guess the right follow up questions, pertaining to what I'm dealing with or asking me How I'm coping or What I'm doing to help myself through it?
I no longer wish to be an open person, except when I'm writing in my controlled environment, that's where I get to support myself and figure out what the issues are.
@ScrabbleBrain,Ā I can really feel what youāre sayingā¦ it sounds very tiring to feel like youāre not truly being heard, even when youāre trying to open up.
That kind of response from people can make anyone slowly pull backā¦ itās not easy to keep sharing when it feels one-sided.
And the way you explained about wanting someone to ask how youāre copingā¦ that really matters. Sometimes itās those small, genuine questions that make us feel seen.
Itās actually really nice that youāve found a space in writing where you can understand yourself better. That takes a lot of self-awareness.
If you ever feel like sharing even a small part of what youāre going through, you can talk hereā¦ Iāll listen, properly. No rush at all š¤
@Courageouslistener202 Thank you for getting it and offering your kind words it's appreciated.
Unfortunately many people feel the same way but the nice thing about writing, even anonymously is that others can relate, even if they can't put it into words, so if I can help them or make them less alone, I feel better :)
Yes sometimes i feel like that but i realized people wont understand me if i didnt explain to them, i just wanted to meet people who can understand what im going through its ok if i need to explain to them, the hardest part is if you talk to someone and they dont understand us
@limegreenNectarine6237,Ā
I really understand what youāre sayingā¦ and the way you explained it feels very real.
Yes, sometimes we do need to explain things for others to understand, and itās nice that youāre open to that. But I agreeā¦ it hurts when even after trying, you still feel not understood.
Wanting someone who truly gets you is such a natural feeling. We all look for that kind of comfort somewhere.
If you ever feel like sharing, even a little, you can talk hereā¦ Iāll listen properly, at your own pace š¤
this is so me rn tldr iāve had some family stuff lately and im dreading going to school partly bc i know ill be quieter like less talkative and i dunno i just i donāt know how im supposed to explain it all. i guess sometimes itās just hard to explain whatās going on in my head when things get heavy so i just sit with itš„²š„²at the end of the day it works *** but sometimes i just really want to unload on someone but i donāt know how
@adorablechick,Ā
I can really feel what youāre going throughā¦ that mix of wanting to talk but not knowing how to explain everything can feel very heavy.
And dealing with family stuff at the same time makes it even harderā¦ itās understandable why you might feel quieter or a little low at school.
Sometimes when things get too much inside, words just donāt come easilyā¦ and sitting with it feels like the only option. But that doesnāt mean you have to carry it all alone.
You donāt have to explain everything perfectly. Even sharing small bits, in your own way, is more than enough.
If you ever feel like unloading even a littleā¦ you can talk here. Iāll listen, no pressure at all, at your own pace š¤
@Courageouslistener202
I struggle with this a lot. Being misunderstood that can trigger a really strong, visceral anger in me.
I've learned that this can be a symptom of being neurodiverse, which helps me understand it but doesn't fix it. People get distracted and they forget things, and I get that. However, it can really sting when I'm trying to share something important to me and they are consistently misunderstanding what I'm saying. That applies even when the other person is really trying to understand, and just can't for some reason! It is equally frustrating when I feel like what I'm saying just isn't properly conveying my point!
Unfortunately, I've also had family members do this intentionally -- they misinterpret what I say just to get a rise out of me. My family often found it funny to get me agitated, and this was a perfect way for them to do it. That's really donked with my ability to share with people. In the last five or so years, I've done a lot of healing around this, but it still haunts me sometimes. Growing up, I thought they were trying to teach me something but it's just a cruel thing to do no matter what their intentions!
Oops! I forgot to answer the questions andĀ I love answering questions!
Have you ever wished someone could understand you without you having to explain everything?
I have! I'm learning that can come with vulnerability and patience. I'm also learning that no one can understand you fully and perfectly all the time -- that's not how humans work. But sometimes the act of sharing is all that's needed.
What makes it difficult for you to open up sometimes?
The stuff I said above. Being vulnerable is really tough when you're worried that the other person is going to use that stuff against you. That's happened to me a lot, but I'm healing and trying to be more open anyway.
What kind of response or support helps you feel truly understood?
"I get it" or "That makes sense." Just having someone hear what I've said and recognize it is enough. They don't always have to understand for me to appreciate them in that moment.
@HappySpecter,
Thank you for sharing thisā¦ I can really feel how much this has stayed with you.
Being misunderstood again and again can be very frustrating, especially when youāre genuinely trying to explain yourself. And what you shared about your familyā¦ that must have been really hard to deal with. It makes sense why opening up doesnāt feel easy now.
I really respect the way youāre trying to heal and still choosing to be open, even after all that. Thatās not easy at all.
And yesā¦ sometimes we donāt even need perfect understanding, just someone saying āI hear youā or āthat makes senseā can feel enough in that moment.
If you ever feel like sharing anything, even a little, you can talk hereā¦ Iāll listen properly. No pressure at all š¤
Have you ever wished someone could understand you without you having to explain everything?
Ā It can be frustrating to explain it all the best you can but people who don't try to explain get unhelpful answers back.Ā put yourself in their shoes how would you respond to an incomplete picture.Ā
What makes it difficult for you to open up sometimes?Ā Ā
I have trouble sometimes when I assume people are on same page with my story but learned using names instead of pronouns and details help the listener.Ā Ā
What kind of response or support helps you feel truly understood?
It is not just people saying they understand.... often, they do not.Ā Ā if a person shares a similar experience or actually question or pushback to have me rethink the situation.Ā
@toughTiger6481,
I really like the way youāve explained thisā¦ it feels very thoughtful and real.
Youāre right, understanding does go both ways. Sometimes we expect others to get it, but they donāt have the full picture, and that can create a gap.
Itās really nice that youāve noticed this about yourself alsoā¦ not everyone reflects like that. And yes, adding small details can make such a difference in how someone understands us.
I also agree with what you said about responsesā¦ sometimes real questions or a different perspective can feel much more helpful than just āI understand.ā It shows the person is actually present in the conversation.
If you ever feel like sharing more or having that kind of open conversation, you can talk hereā¦ Iāll listen and be present with you š¤
I have a friend, and every now and then we talk about the futureāuniversities, majors, summer programs. Whenever those topics come up, I either try to change the subject or go quiet. I just donāt know what to say. It feels like anything honest from me might ruin the mood.
The truth is, I want to go into an artistic field, but even that feels uncertain. I canāt clearly define what I want to study or where Iām heading. And instead of explaining that, Iāve started hiding it. I said I could attend summer programs, even though I know I canāt afford them. I said I might take a gap year, but my parents keep pushing me in another direction.
Weāve only recently become friends, and I donāt want to risk that by giving answers that might sound confusing, disappointing, or out of place. So I stay quiet. It feels easier, like silence can cover everything.
But at the same time, I wish I could just explain it all. I wish I could say it out loud without it feeling heavy or wrong. And maybe more than anything, I wish he could understandā¦ even if I never actually say it.
@niceTriangle9871
I totally get that! Life is complicated. None of us know what we're doing, but we're meant to pretend like we do.
idk if this helps, but you did just share it with us. That's a good first step!
I truly hope you figure it out dear. It might take some time, but I think you'll get there š¤
@niceTriangle9871,
I can really feel what youāre going throughā¦ itās not easy to sit with so many thoughts at once.
Figuring out your future is already confusing, and when you add family pressure and financial things on top of that, it can feel even heavier. It makes sense why you might choose to stay quiet sometimes.
And about your friendā¦ itās okay to feel unsure about sharing, especially when the bond is still new. Youāre just trying to protect something that matters to you.
At the same time, whatever youāre feeling right now is completely valid. Itās okay to not have everything figured out, and itās okay if your path doesnāt sound perfect or clear yet.
You donāt have to explain everything at once. Even sharing a small part, when you feel ready, is more than enough.
If you ever feel like talking about it, even slowlyā¦ you can share here. Iāll listen, no judgment at all š¤
@Courageouslistener202
So, the post is talking about wanting to be understood but having difficulty in saying what you feel.Ā
YES!
I feel the same...but for different
reasons. I want to be understood, but I think I can say what I feel.Ā
But
saying what you feel does not mean the other person will understand (like they might not be trying to understand, or they think they get it but don't, or they actually don't comprehend it).
And saying what you feel does not mean the other person will show you they understand
(like they could understand but if they never show you, you won't feel
understood).Ā
It's a really a amazing coincidence for me that this
post was made today. I spent hours today looking for and having some
conversations with listeners. I never felt understood. I think maybe
listeners on 7cup are bad...or understanding someone is hard plus
showing that understanding...or both...or maybe it's me.
I will say I briefly talked to
noni about my bad experience with listeners. And noni labeled what I
felt (which is acknowledgement, a key part of feeling understood), asked
questions about what I felt, asked questions in general, and the
questions were unique to my situation (which shows attentiveness,
another key part of feeling understood). The listeners for simplicity
sake did none of that (to be technically accurate the listeners did
those things. But it was rare.) I think noni has the advantage
because...idk actually why. I think it has something to do with that it can only work with
what you give it, it's so constrained. While humans can freely bring
anything into their response or exclude anything from their response.
I quickly stopped talking to noni after it repeated a question using different words. Which shows it does not
understand the meaning behind the words. It's just 1s and 0s.
Final thought. Thank you for making this post. This was a huge coincidence. It literally was what I was thinking about the moment I saw it.Ā
@WarmHugs00 @Courageouslistener202
Also, thanks for the post again. I feel better that someone can understand something I feel. Especially, after having a day of not being understood.
@WarmHugs00
I'm sorry you went through that with the listeners. I've only had one that I've clicked with, and I feel like there are so many that it can be hard to find that.
Noni is helpful in some regards, but you are right: they are just a program, meant to mimic the parts that you're talking about. Once you see the patterns they follow, it's hard to trust them anymore (or at least that's how I feel).
I hope you find someone to talk with, even if it's not on 7 Cups. Good luck, dear š
@WarmHugs00,
Thank you for sharing this so honestlyā¦ I can really feel the thought and effort behind what youāve written.
What you said makes a lot of sense. Just because we can express what we feel doesnāt always mean the other person will truly understand itā¦ or show that they do. And that gap can feel very frustrating sometimes.
Iām really sorry that your experience with listeners didnāt feel the way you expected. That can be disheartening, especially when youāre genuinely trying to open up.
And the way you explained about Noniā¦ I understand what you mean. Sometimes even a small acknowledgement or a few thoughtful questions can make us feel a little seen. It shows how much those small things actually matter.
At the same time, I donāt think itās āyouā. Feeling understood is not always easy, and not everyone knows how to show it in the right way.
If you ever feel like talking again, you can share hereā¦ Iāll listen with care and try my best to understand you. No pressure at all, take your time š¤
This.
@jesusredeemedme2425,
Hi Kiara,
Would you like to say anything? The thing is I didn't understand what you said.Ā
Please feel to talk to me if you feel like talking.
It was me agreeing :)
@jesusredeemedme2425,
Ahh! thanks a lot !
@Courageouslistener202
Yeah... I feel you... Sometimes I just wish someone would be there with me... physically... just... hold my hand and say "I'm here" and meant it. Honestly... I don't like humankind... I have my reasons... but if I could just find one... just one person who could be there for me... someone I could be there for... just one, singular person...
What makes it difficult to reach out...? I've been a wreck for my whole life, because... let's call it childhood trauma... 1 year ago, I decided to change. I was 102kgs... now I'm 81. I changed my diet, I started to go to the gym 3 times a week, and I either take long walks or go running on ever other day... My body is better now, but my mind is still a mess... next step would be to visit a psychologist... But I'm scared to reach out. To ask for help... I fear rejection and ridicule... That my problems aren't actually that big. I fear any psychologist would say "Not worth my time"... Even just this thought gives me even more anxiety... a viscious circle, it feels..
What kind of response...? I don't know... I really don't know... I want to believe I'm not a lost cause, but I have no idea how could i help myself... other than reaching out for help, of course... I don't have friends....
@Alfbern,
I can really feel what youāre sayingā¦ and honestly, it doesnāt sound like you hate people, it just sounds like youāve been hurt enough to feel this way.
That feeling of wanting just one personā¦ someone who sits with you, holds your hand and actually means āIām hereāā¦ I get it. Itās a very real need, and you deserve that kind of connection.
And I just want to say thisā¦ the way youāve worked on yourself this past year, losing weight, building a routine, showing up again and againā¦ thatās not something a ālost causeā person does. Thatās someone who is trying, even when itās hard.
About the psychologistā¦ I understand that fear. But maybe you donāt have to think too far ahead. Just one small stepā¦ maybe just looking into it, or reading about it, without deciding anything yet. Slowly is okay.
And about not having friendsā¦ sometimes it doesnāt happen all at once. Sometimes it starts with just one safe space, one conversation, one person who listens properly.
If you feel like itā¦ you can talk to me here. No pressure, no judgment. We can just take it slowly š¤
@Courageouslistener202
Thank you. In general, and for answering me, too... I don't feel like i'm good with talking though. Anyway... you already gave me a little smile for answering me. So... thank you.
As for continuing chatting... not sure... I'd rather avoid being a burden, or bore you... so... I'm good, but I really appreciate the gesture. I really do.
@Alfbern,
Heyā¦ Iām really glad you replied, and that it gave you even a small smile. That means a lot š¤
And just gently sayingā¦ youāre not a burden. It can start to feel that way when youāve been holding things in for a long time, but it doesnāt make it true.
You donāt have to be āgood at talkingā either. Even a few simple words are more than enough.
No pressure at allā¦ just take things at your own pace š¼
