***TW*** Please Let Me Feel…
When I say that all men are disgusting and evil, please let me. I know that it’s not true. I have (and have had) many amazing male friends.
But when you’ve spent your life dealing with DV and bullying and various kinds of abuse… You’re blinded to that.
All you see is the men who want to use and hurt you.
I know good guys exist.
But I can’t feel it.
All I know is hurt and pain. And internally cringing around men, waiting for the blows to land.
Please don’t scold me for being afraid of men.
Acknowledge that I have PTSD and I’ve spent my entire life being abused.
I have a REASON to fear and hate men.
Because they’ve abused me for 30+ years.
When you tell me not to feel what I feel, to say what I believe…
You’re telling me that my fears and beliefs don’t matter.
That my experiences are null and void.
That my pain can be brushed off with a single sentence.
I’ve been hit. Threatened. Abused. Had a man attempt to injure me. Had men try to force me to do things I didn’t want to do.
And you negate my fear.
You should be ashamed. Not acknowledging and understanding a lifetime of fear and shame and PTSD.
You hurt me every time you say that.
Please stop.
Let me feel and express my emotions and begin to heal.
I know not every man is dangerous.
But I don’t know WHICH men.
And cower daily anticipating blows that never come, because of the men who once put their hands on me.
I believe love doesn’t exist because men have used me for their own pleasures, disregarded my humanity and my autonomy and my boundaries, insulted my body, degraded me.
And you tell me it’s not ok to feel this way.
Shame on you.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Why do you need a reason, anyways? Just saying. You tell someone youre afraid of spiders and they dont go about saying "not ALL spiders bite" or "why? Im not, why should you be?"
You feel what you feel. Its not like youre actively trying to hurt men, so, like, whats the issue? You get to vent. You get to feel, and im not saying it is illogical, but even if it was, youd still have the right to feel it.
@jesusredeemedme2425
You are amazing and so precious, I want to hold you up in the brightest light just like a diamond and boast to everyone who admires your flawless brilliance.. sending you lots of love and strength.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Sorry I've only just seen this post, makes me feel sorry for being a man and I appreciate your bravery.
@RunningMachine
You don't need to apologise for being a man and nor does any other man 💙 just the ones not being respectful!
@Amanda84
Thank you, we are all human and worthy of respect.
What Amanda said. The abusers are the ones who need to feel sorry, not you <3
Sorry for your experiences. Keep searching. Its a journey.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Kiara let it out love. You have every right to feel what you feel. Scream your lungs out. This is your space. You own it now.
I’m sorry for everything you went thru and I’m sorry for every woman that went thru the same. I’m sorry that such creatures exist. I’m really sorry Kiara. You deserve all the love and oneday you will have it all. A love that can lift you, hold you, carry you, and wipe all your scars like they never existed.
Hi sweetheart,
I know what you are feeling. I know it so well. Everything you said is valid and true.
I feel the same way. I feel that I don't have a chance at a healthy relationship because of my past trauma. I know how my skin crawls, my mind bombards, and my emotions overflow when I even try to have a close conversation with a guy.
Express! You just express as much as you want and as you like.
Let the jerks who tell you not to express go to ***.
Together, we will be free from the bond of trauma!
There is an app called mentorshow. They have trauma healing masterclasses. They conduct free trauma workshops/conferences. I attended one by Tim Fletcher, Bessel Von, and Gabor Mate. It helped. See if this is a good resource for you.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Agree with your perspective. Our opinion are shaped by our past experience and nobody should judge us for that 🙃
It’s very brave to say it like this. Abuse can make you feel small. I see you stand up here for who you are with all your hurts. You are not shrinking. You are standing firm. It’s big. I’m proud of you!
I wish the world was safer for feeling deeply openly. Well, it’s not. At least not everywhere. It seems important to find safe places and people to be fully yourself first. Bringing hurt to the less safe spaces needs answering a question about “how ready we are to be not understood”. It’s important to speak up so the world can grow. But first we need to protect ourselves before we are ready to handle being misunderstood.
