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What is Triangulation? 3 Steps to Avoiding & Stopping it from happening in the community

User Profile: Laura
Laura January 15th, 2016

Hello everyone,

I'm writing to discuss the very important topic of triangulation

It's come to my attention that some members may be engaging in this behavior without realizing the negative impact it has.

To ensure clarity, I want to define what triangulation is and explain why it is so unhelpful to our community. 

(@Lee has also provided valuable insight on this topic here)

Triangulation occurs when a conflict or issue that exists between two people is brought to involve a third person.

Example:

If person A and person B (both 7 Cups users, whether a listener or a member) have a personal issue with one another, they should resolve it directly between themselves.

If person A involves person C in their issue with person B, this is considered triangulation.

Triangulation can happen to anyone. While it can be tempting to seek external support for a two-person conflict from someone else, it ultimately creates a negative outcome for everyone involved. If direct conflict resolution isn't possible, please connect with a community manager by filing a report through our Help Desk


Conflict resolution through clear, calm, and honest conversation is challenging and requires overcoming fear, but when handled correctly, it benefits all parties. Remember, we all come from different backgrounds, and sometimes words or phrases can unintentionally seem intimidating. 

Why is Triangulation Harmful?

It’s harmful because:

  • It leads to the spread of information, potentially causing harm to those involved.

  • It facilitates the spreading of rumors.

  • It exposes a private situation between two users to a wider audience, violating confidentiality.

If someone approaches you for support regarding a situation that occurred within the listener community, here is what you must do:

  1. Never share the names of any users involved.

  2. Never share specific details of a chat or private interaction.

  3. If someone begins to share a triangulated issue with you, please respond with this statement:

"I am sorry this happened! It sounds like a challenging situation. To avoid triangulation, it would be best for you to practice conflict resolution with the person involved. If direct conflict resolution isn't possible, please notify a community manager by filing a report through our Help Desk. To preserve confidentiality, please do not share this situation with other users."


Special Note: You should avoid triangulation with all other users, including mentors, group moderators, peer supporters, and mentor leaders. If a situation cannot be resolved through direct conflict resolution, the proper procedure is always to file a report through our Help Desk


You can also reach out to Ambassadors or Admins to help facilitate a conflict resolution between you and the other person, that way the two of you get support by working through your challenges in a safe way.


As listeners, we all share the responsibility to stop triangulation when we encounter it or are asked to participate in it. This commitment is vital for maintaining a healthy and positive community.


I challenge everyone to take the Avoiding Triangulation Pledge:


"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."

Updated by AnnaSilverberg - 10 feb 26

Other helpful information:

1) 7 Cups Behavioral Reports (Points aka BPS) System

2) Rumor Spreading

3) Dealing with Misunderstandings

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User Profile: julie0203
julie0203 January 17th, 2016

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

Signed: Julia 01/17/16

User Profile: Toffee
Toffee January 17th, 2016

Thank you Laura!

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

Signed: Toffee 01/17/2016

User Profile: Juniter
Juniter January 17th, 2016

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

Signed: Juniter 1/17/16

User Profile: Ky23
Ky23 January 17th, 2016

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

Signed: Kylah smiley

User Profile: Justbeyourself3
Justbeyourself3 January 17th, 2016

In all of my interactions on the 7 cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

Hopefully this should make everyone happier

signed by. Justbeyourlsef

User Profile: cuddlyHugs123
cuddlyHugs123 January 18th, 2016

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

Signed: cuddlyHugs123 heart

User Profile: ListeningCae
ListeningCae January 18th, 2016

"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence. "

Signed: Cae 1/17/16

User Profile: RewindTheClock
RewindTheClock January 18th, 2016

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

Signed 1/17-8/16 (it was midnight when I signed this ) RTC..RewindTheClock

User Profile: faithlove1111
faithlove1111 January 18th, 2016

Great info on Triangulation Laura yes. A few years ago, I attended a talk about gossiping and I was taken aback. Apparently even when we are in the company of people who are gossiping and we do not contribute or respond, we are still a participant of gossiping. This is called colluding. It is always good to be aware of how we can get sucked into gossiping without even uttering a word.

"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence. "

Signed: Faith 1/18/16

User Profile: CarefreeKitty
CarefreeKitty January 18th, 2016

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

Signed CarefreeKitty 18/1/2016