Is it weird now that I avoid an online friendship I used to care of? [sharing my story]

@hopefulencounter

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s awful to feel ignored. I once had a friend who I would “chase” after all the time. He said we were friends, but our schedules would rarely line up, even when I was very flexible. Being a quiet person (an introvert), I didn’t have much going on in my life, and he seemed to have lots going on. I started to feel bad about myself, so I stopped calling him and thinking up ways to get together. (I guess I was taking a break, but it also didn't feel as good as a break should.)

Eventually, I turned to activities that got me out of the house: riding my bicycle, spending a little time in nature, spending time in the beautiful parts of the city near where I lived. In time I met people like I have met here on 7cups, and I slowly started to make new friendships. My old friend is still around, “doing his thing”, but I no longer feel confused, disappointed, angry, and sad regarding that “friendship”.

Maybe you are going through something similar? Maybe there is something growing inside of you (a maturity) that your old friends can't relate to … and of course we doubt ourselves and think there is something wrong with us instead of believing we are right where we should be.

I might be way off, so forgive me if I’ve missed things in your story—but I would rather trust in your inner wisdom than your outer fears that is saying there is something wrong with you.

@hopefulencounter

Thank you for sharing your story. Please know that you're not a bad friend for distancing yourself from a place that was causing you distress. I can relate to this. I haven't been on my social for months. In a sense I don't feel so trapped on a huge circle of online friends.

I don't feel forced to crack jokes. I don't feel any pressure to just "be there". I don't feel as fake as I used to, and I'm trying to see things more clearly.

I'm not going back anytime soon... or maybe I won't bcus I just don't match their vibes, and don't feel like draining myself to adapt and be on the same loops. I think it's best not to force ourselves to be present just for others pleasure.

It's better to have fewer friends with whom you can at least be real and honest about your feelings. The real one's will stay in touch and genuinely won't care whether you're still in some group or not. they'll simply value your presence.

Sending lots of love your way 💕

My advice to you is avoiding these people no matter how much the urge gets, I have chronic loneliness but honestly I try my very best to stay away from toxic people, they only mentally drain you more and more, my cousin last summer whenever we were out with his other cousin and my brother, I was always ignored, not included, almost never spoken to, yet I always went with them for some reason. This summer, I encountered my cousin again, he was really nice to me and I showed him my new vr and he really loved it so much, that's the only reason he invited me over once, and even when he invited me he just ended up leaving and not texting me back for so long, I ended up leaving and extremely hurt, we even had plans of seeing his friends, but you know what i changed my mind, it's not even worth it. I had seen the line being crossed when my little brother and his little brother were fighting each other for so long and I had so enough of my little brother being beaten, I took my stuff and little brother and we left, I ended up blocking him, and I'm never going to see his face again unless I'm seeing my grandmother. If you want to we can be friends, I have struggled so much with finding online friends, the only times I have had online friends were like 2 instances where 1 dude was mentally ill and beat his parents oftentimes, and the other was just lowkey dry and I didn't like him much, we extremely rarely text. Again I'd really love having you as my friend

I can relate I also had few online friends in covid and after covid. I was really close with some of them but every single one of the friendship broke down. So yeah not even one stayed the same and maybe it's life maybe it was my expectations or maybe it's because this is all online and doesn't compare to real life friends which I didn't have and I don't have even now. Hope you are doing okay. One pointer btw you are not a bad friend and reading your post it doesn't sound like friendship anymore so yeah don't overthink buddy.

@hopefulencounter you are not alone in feeling like this. Online friendships can be complicated, and it's okay to feel the way you do. You are allowed to take all the break you want. However. As someone who also went through something similar, I would suggest you cut your losses. The thing is. Life keeps going ahead for everyone, and you can choose to move on with yours too. Sit down to your friend list. And give it a big cleanup. Delete everyone who is not reciprocating effort without a valid reason. It won't be a pleasant experience, but you will feel much better about yourself and your life later. You got this 🌻