Real Positivity -What is it?
Let's talk about Toxic Positivity to understand the Opposite: The Real Positivity:
- "it's okay to not be okay." It isn't realistic to be okay all the time. Remind yourself that if someone doesn't feel okay, that's perfectly acceptable.
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⭐ Manage your negative emotions, but don't deny them.
- When someone expresses a difficult emotion, don’t shut them down with toxic positivity. Instead, let them know that what they are feeling is normal and you are there to listen.
- Remember that it is normal and healthy to feel all of your emotions—the good and the bad.
Examples of Real Positivity:
Real Positivity -What is it?
My understanding: When you aren't really feeling good, but force yourself to appear good, that's toxic positivity. When you acknowledge emotions (good or bad) and take your time to process those emotions, so that you may manage and direct them to a creative direction, that's real positivity!
Your turn now. Please share your understanding below!
@Fristo
I agree. Positivity should never be forced. Everything takes time. Toxic positivity is when you believe one must always remain positive and ignore negative thoughts, which is incorrect. Genuine positivity is when you accept negative feelings too.
Thanks for the post!
Very nice. I needed to hear this today.
Good advice. As I see it, toxic positivity is based on the assumption that we totally control our own lives, so all feelings can be voluntarily chosen & any grief, rage, depression, etc. must be due to our own weakness. That is entirely false, of course. Mental/emotional weakness can be a factor but it is far from the only one, & not even a decisive one in many cases. The human psyche does not exist in a vacuum. Bad things occur & we are affected by them, no matter if we choose to deny or admit it. People can & do interpret events & communications to mean more than they actually mean, & so feel terrible after hearing the "bad news". This is an honest mistake! Who hasn't made that mistake? I sure have...
Probably the worst toxically positive motto commonly said today is "everything happens for a reason". It not only invalidates the feelings of someone in a rough situation but is also wrong. The real world is an incredibly complex place. The more complicated something is, the greater the chance of some part of it going awry. Murphy's Law is real...I've lived long enough to know that for certain. The reality is that sometimes bad things happen for no reason at all. When they happen to us, we don't feel optimistic in the least. And that's okay.
Hey, thank you so much for the post. It was very informative. I truly loved the examples. And toxic positivity does indeed exist. Sadly, not too many people are aware of it or know the difference between toxic positivity and healthy positivity.
Thank you for making us aware
@Fristo
I just like to add something more that I forgot earlier, it is extremely crucial to accept our thoughts and the way we feel. At the same time, it is not okay to only ponder over them and sulk over them again and again. We all must take as much time as we want to get out of that phase of admitting one's feelings. However, it is so important to be also hopeful of the situation and not hopeless.
@Fristo
very nice post! i believe in finding positivity in life, sustainable positivity that will help us maintain ourselves day to day. toxic positivity is definitely forced positivity, and should be avoided because it can lead to mental and physical complications.
@Fristo
Real positivity isn't something that is fake. It's not painted by wonderful and frilly words. It's genuinity. People all the time with fake compliment you to make their ego feel better. But, true and real positivity is something that is meaningful and isn't gifted to someone for the sake of a favor. It's a way to show your personality in a positive way without being called a pick-me because other people can't understand or even begin to fathom how it's like to share true feelings because they themselves are so miserable. People don't like positive people nowadays because it isn't "cool" or "relatable". But, everyone needs that positive outlook on life with at least someone who has that genuine positive attitude.
@Fristo
Real positivity - What is it?
@Fristo
Well said. Thank you. It took me years to see this.
ABB
@Fristo I think positivity is accepting the reality of the situation at hand, but having hope that things will look up in the future. It's so important to accept what's going on and not try to fake being happy because we need to process our emotions to heal. Life can really stink sometimes and not everything will be happy all the time. But I really like to find the positives to keep me going 😊
@Fristo
The way I see it, real positivity focuses on what the person needs in order to heal. Fake positivity forces the person to ignore their feelings for the comfort of others while not doing them any good in the long run, and possibly even hurting them.