***TW*** Things People Who Self Harm Wish You Knew
If this is part of your life story, please share your insights! What would you like the rest of us to learn? What should we know about people in this community? How would you like people to interact with you? Should people ask questions? What’s the best way for people to learn about this? Do you have any resources (books, movies, YT videos, etc) that will give us greater understanding and empathy and kindness toward people who experience the same things you do?
If you’re not on this journey, we welcome you to listen, learn, and ask respectful, good-faith questions! Open-ended questions are highly encouraged, as they give people the space to share their unique experiences in their own words. While this is a safe space to learn about things you’ve never experienced, please remember to be sensitive, and avoid sharing harmful stereotypes or debating someone's lived reality. If you have a question, ask it with empathy. If someone gently corrects you, please be open to learning. Let's have a gentle, fun, friendly conversation where we support one another, because it takes all sorts to make a world!
@jesusredeemedme2425
You can't always see someone's self-harm scars.
The worst scars are the ones that aren’t visible with the eyes.
@jesusredeemedme2425
@jesusredeemedme2425
The pain is addictive then it just hurts but you can't stop. You can't stop unless you force yourself, but the longing lingers. Then when turmoil happens the ugly urges come back even stronger.
I wish more people understood what this actually means. So lets break some common misconceptions!
I wish people knew that it is not always about attention. Most of the time, it happens in silence. Hidden under sleeves, behind lies, beneath shame and fear. So many people who struggle with self-harm become experts at hiding it because of the embarrassment, stigma, and judgment attached to it.
I wish people knew that self-harm is addictive. It becomes something your mind and body learn to reach for when things feel unbearable. It's not as easy as just stopping. Some days the urges are louder than others. Some days it takes every ounce of strength just to sit with the pain instead of acting on it. Managing the urges, the scars, the emotions, and the aftermath is exhausting. It is a constant fight that I would never wish upon anybody.
I wish people understood that self-harm does not automatically mean someone is sui. Pain is complicated. People self-harm for many different reasons: to cope, to release emotions, to punish themselves, to feel something, or to survive moments that feel impossible to carry. That may not make sense to everyone, but in those moments, it makes sense.
I wish people knew that words can leave scars too. Even years later, I still remember hearing that because of my scars, I would “never be loved” and would “be forever alone.” Those kind of words stay with me. Comments, stares, whispers, and assumptions reach deeper than anyone realizes. Nobody deserves to be defined by their scars or treated as less worthy because of their pain, or how they have survived. I wish people tried to understand before they react, abandon, and judge.
I wish people understood that self-harm is more than just cutting. It can take many forms, and it does not discriminate. It affects people of every gender, race, age, and background. The person struggling could be the one who smiles the most, gets good grades, takes care of everyone else, or seems “fine” on the outside.
Most of all, I wish people knew that people who self-harm are not crazy, manipulative, or dangerous. We are human beings trying to survive. What we need most is compassion, understanding, and support. Sometimes the strongest person you know is fighting a battle that nobody else can see. So please be kind…
@CaringEzra
So beautifully written and so many things here, I never considered, thank you for sharing 🩷
No need to feel nervous! This is amazing information <3 hugs <3
A big fact, once you start, its a lot harder to stop than it seems. Also, scars make me insecure, and sometimes you feel bad about sh which leads you to do it more because you feel bad, in a sort of cycle.