Day 2: First Date With Yourself
Hii again, people, Day 1 of our Love Month Celebration series was about being honest with ourselves, Day 2 is about what we do with that honesty.
Instead of judging it or rushing to fix things, what if we met ourselves with curiosity infused with kindness and grace?
Think of today as a first date with yourself! 🥰
No pressure to impress or leave a mark. No expectations either. Just getting to know who you are and how you function.
I feel a lot of us are very good at understanding others but not ourselves. We know what might comfort our friends or even people we come across randomly (our great big example here being 7 cups lol), what upsets them, what helps them calm down or just what would make them feel actually seen and supported. But when it comes to us, we either ignore our needs or push through them.
Today is about getting to know yourself and learning your own language.
If you feel up to it, reflect on any or all of the following:
💗 When I’m overwhelmed, what do I actually need most? Reassurance, rest, space, distraction, expression? Something else?
💗 How do I usually respond when I’m stressed or hurt?
💗 What helps me feel calmer or safer, even a little?
💗 What drains me, even if I’ve gotten used to tolerating it?
💗 What do I secretly wish someone would do for me/ say to me when I’m struggling?
💗 What do I wish someone would ask me/ tell me more often?
There are no right or wrong answers here, it’s literally just an attempt at getting to know yourself better. We figure stuff as we ask and know and sit with ourselves. This isn’t about becoming better or stronger either.
It’s about becoming more familiar with yourself. Like I said earlier, getting to know yourself is part of the process of learning to love yourself.
Ooh and a small thing you can try today?
Do something supportive or kind for yourself the way you’d do it for someone you care about. It can be anything super simple too. Literally anything counts! 🥰 Do share ideas on whatcha treating yourself with?
I’m treating myself with a fruit bowl and a reminder to sleep earlier tonight.
I want to gently remind you again that getting to know yourself isn’t an easy road either, I’ve only mentioned a few prompts to ask yourself but there’s soooo much more we can ask ourselves and learn about ourselves. But the fact that you’re here trying with me and doing your best to show up for yourself, is commendable and I’m so so proud of you!
Like always, you don’t have to rush any of this. You’re allowed to take your time with yourself. 🥰
Have a funsieee date! I look forward to hear how it went hehe.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
💗 When I’m overwhelmed, what do I actually need most? Reassurance, rest, space, distraction, expression? Something else?
I need to stop and talk with my ADHD brain and negotiate what need because sometimes it's different depending on the circumstance. It helps me think more clearly and self-soothe.
💗 What do I secretly wish someone would do for me/ say to me when I’m struggling?
"I see all that you're doing, and I am proud of you."
💗 What do I wish someone would ask me/ tell me more often?
"How are you really?" And really listen + ask questions of how they can help.
@Heather225 I don't see all you are doing, but some, and I'm proud of you ❤️ 💜 ❤️ 💜
@reservedOwl321
you're so sweet. thank you!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
When I'm stressed or hurt, I shut down, I like to be alone, to process, don't like talking or being around anyone in those moments 💖
@Amanda84
Wow that’s totallyy me lol! 😭 I sooo feel you with this, Amanda. 🫂
I think it’s super okay to take our time and be with ourselves protecting our inner peace, when the outside world feels too demanding, chaotic, loud or well, all of the above and more! 🥲💖
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Answered all questions 😁
Today I‘m going to read, I know I’ll feel good afterwards ☺️
@Butterfly723389
Yusss, there’s no rushing with our emotions and we get to choose how we want to show up for ourselves each day, the best part about embarking on this journey towards getting to know ourselves and love ourselves better! 🥰
Im happy you’ve joinedd!🤗
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
💗 When I’m overwhelmed, what do I actually need most? Reassurance, rest, space, distraction, expression? Something else?
Depends on the cause, but i have always found movement, exercise, walks, pacing to and fro or dancing calms me.
💗 How do I usually respond when I’m stressed or hurt?
racing mind, overthink and worry.
💗 What helps me feel calmer or safer, even a little?
Breathing but focusing on exhale as it triggers a stronger parasympathetic (calming) response,
💗 What drains me, even if I’ve gotten used to tolerating it?
It's not all the time but i find loneliness often draining, it's missing the presence of others.
💗 What do I secretly wish someone would do for me/ say to me when I’m struggling?
It's hard when they're not here
💗 What do I wish someone would ask me/ tell me more often?
I know there are no guarantees but it would be nice to feel that loneliness won't be for ever.
@RunningMachine
Okay, I had to think about what drains me. Mostly in person social interactions, especially with people who appear to be extremely judgmental.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
💗 When I’m overwhelmed, what do I actually need most? Reassurance, rest, space, distraction, expression? Something else?
Taking it out is helpful. Get it all out and piece by piece sort through it. Rest is also helpful following.
💗 How do I usually respond when I’m stressed or hurt?
Usually I respond with tears. Panic has been occurring these past months.
💗 What helps me feel calmer or safer, even a little?
When I can piece it apart to a place that makes ME feel comfortable.
💗 What drains me, even if I’ve gotten used to tolerating it?
Multiple tasks with time frames and juggling a home.
💗 What do I secretly wish someone would do for me/ say to me when I’m struggling?
“Let me get that for you”
💗 What do I wish someone would ask me/ tell me more often?
“I love you” and “What can I do to help”
“I’m here”
Today’s date with my self :: I got a strawberry banana smoothie WITH whipped cream. A delightful chocolate donut. Bring on the sugar 😂😂 oopsie but I took my time in one of my favorite stores and then took a nap ❤️
@peachThinker662
Peachyy, I must tell you I can see that you have come so so far in being able to feel your feelings and recognise your needs even in the middle of some kinda overwhelm and that’s some commendable progress. Beyond proud of youu! 🤗💖
The way you described needing to “get it all out” and then gently sort through it piece by piece makes so much sense. Even if it feels draining or difficult, the tears, panic, and emotional release are ways in which your system trying to cope and protect you when things feel like too much. Especially with everything you’re juggling, it’s understandable that this has felt even more heavy these past months. :/
I also really appreciate how clearly you’ve named what drains you hehe. Multiple tasks, time pressure, and holding a home is a lot, even if you’ve gotten used to carrying it. Honestly I feel you’ve described adulthood in a nutshell xD it’s draining but we are somehow also a lil used to tolerating it sigh!
About the specifics though, just because you can manage it doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting. That wish of someone saying “let me get that for you” or “what can I do to help” speaks to a very human need to not do everything alone, and it’s such a valid thing to want reassurance, support, and presence.
Uff and honestly, your date with yourself sounds lovely 🥰 a smoothie with whipped cream, a chocolate donut, wandering in your favorite store, and a nap? That’s you listening to yourself and responding with care. Sugar and all included hehe! 😂💖 Did you buy anything at the store?
I appreciate you for bringing soo much honesty in this space and do hope you continue to offer yourself the same gentleness and support you so clearly deserve and more! 🫂💖
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
💕💕💕
Hello!
💗 When I'm overwhelmed, I need expression and sublimating my feelings into art. (If it was an option, I will need reassurance, but as I usually can't find or rely anyone, so I express and sublimate my feelings into art.)
💗 I usually respond when I am stressed or hurt with anger or losing my sanity (a breakdown).
💗 What helps me feel calmer or safer is remembering that God is there to protect me and I'm doing my best and I'm also there to protect and love myself.
💗 What drains me is experiencing disrespect in a form of sarcasm (someone being sarcastic at my appearance or way of thinking for example and then I have to laugh to engage and accept this.)
💗 What I secretly wish someone do for me is... Expressing true love and admiration for me in ways I can understand and be delighted with.
💗 What I wish someone would ask or tell me more often is... Spending positive quality time together.
My life used to be a lot of grief and I used to be inhibited and sad and that looked like being calm and distant, but I know something great about myself which is that I used to lift up myself with pleasing activities. My small mind since I was a child used to help me find joy and happiness and even create reasons for feeling it. Now, I'm holding on creative writing and music which express my feelings and validate them :)
Thanks for this post!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
💗 When I’m overwhelmed, what do I actually need most? Reassurance, rest, space, distraction, expression? Something else?
@daydreammemories
Aww yes a comforting space to be welcomed with any and all of our thoughts and feelings especially during those overwhelming moments is so so precious to have. And yesss, you deserve it too. 💛
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
😊💚
When i'm overwhelmed I just need space from people and quiet time.
When I am stressed I can become more withdrawn,more dismissive of other people or annoyed.
What helps me feel calmer is breathing exercises.
After reading this post, I decided to treat myself to facial at home with a sented candle.
Hey hey @Harmony8682 I relate with you on the need to isolate and being away from people/ the world basically hehe, when you’re stressed and overwhelmed.
Thanks for your message 🙂
Ooh those fragrances are nice, I do like floral and vanilla sents too. The candle was a eucalyptus and sandelwood smell and I also use lavendar sprays which also help relax me.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
When I’m overwhelmed, what do I actually need most? Reassurance, rest, space, distraction, expression? Something else?
All of them xD But space the most, I need distance from wherever is overwhelming me. Distance makes it smaller, distance gives me a "well you're reaching" lol
How do I usually respond when I’m stressed or hurt?
I don't, my eyes do T-T
What helps me feel calmer or safer, even a little?
Talking about it, listening to something positive or reassuring. Most importantly my own heart knows when I've gone too far in the depths of despair and so it brings up all the nice things, all the ways I can face this<3
The nice thing I'm doing for myself today is answering your beautiful posts :D<3