Day 8: (Re)Building Self-Trust
Hey hey everyoneee! ☀️💖
I’m happy to see y’all’s participating in the Love month celebration series thus far and we are closer to wrapping this one up, so just wanted to remind you to take yet another moment to pat your back hehe. I am so so proud of youu! 🫂🥰
Something I’ve been thinking about after the last few days of this series is how easily we lose trust in ourselves… sometimes without even realising it.
Especially after moments where we feel like we made the “wrong” choice. It’s strange how quickly the mind goes from “that was a mistake” to “maybe I just can’t trust myself at all.” Or simply a “I don’t even know myself”.
And once that thought settles in, it starts quietly affecting so many other things. We hesitate more. Second-guess our instincts. Ask ten other people what they think before listening to our own inner voice.
Almost like we’ve placed ourselves on some sort of internal probation lol.
But something I’ve slowly started noticing is this that the very fact that you can look back at a decision and recognise that it didn’t align with who you want to be… already means something inside you is working. Your awareness is there. Your values are there. Your ability to reflect is very much there.
And honestly? That’s the part of you that can be trusted.
Self-trust doesn’t come from never making mistakes. If that were the rule, none of us would ever trust ourselves again. It grows from something quieter. From knowing that when you do notice something feels off, you’re willing to look at it honestly. From knowing you’re capable of learning. From knowing that the version of you today is not the exact same person who made that choice before. Growth changes people in small but very very real ways. Sometimes the person you were back then simply didn’t have the same clarity, emotional awareness, or strength that you have now. And that’s not failure people, that’s literally what growth looks like.
Trusting yourself again doesn’t have to be some huge dramatic shift either. It can start with really tinyy things. Listening to that little feeling in your stomach when something doesn’t sit right. Letting your own opinion matter instead of constantly outsourcing your decisions or letting someone else give you that green signal before you make a choice for yourself. Giving yourself permission to believe that you’re capable of figuring things out as life unfolds.
Because honestlyyyy? you probably already have. There are moments in your life where you handled things better than you thought you would. Situations you navigated better than you thought you could. Decisions you eventually learned from. Those moments count too. And a lotttt!
Sometimes (most times? urgh) we just forget to give ourselves credit for them.
Something to sit with when you’re ready for it:
🧡 When was the last time my intuition tried to tell me something? Did I listen to it, or did I override it?
🧡 What is one situation in my life where I actually handled things better than I expected to?
🧡 Do I tend to trust other people’s judgement more than my own? Why might that be?
🧡 What is one small decision this week where I can simply listen to myself first?
While I’d encourage you to reflect/ respond to everything, the following I believe could really help some brain-juices flow hehe! 🥰
🧡 What does trusting yourself currently look like for you? 🧡
You don’t need to suddenly become someone who has everything figured out. Most people don’t. But slowly rebuilding trust with yourself? that’s a really beautiful place to start I believe hehe! And if you’re even thinking about these things right now, chances are that inner voice of yours is already trying to guide you again. Sometimes it just needs you to be a lil attentive, listen to it and show some acknowledgment that you are trying to show up for yourselfu. 🎀 💖
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Thank you for making this post, 🌞! It speaks so much to me. Your timing is perfect-- almost like you just know that many of us here just needed to hear this! Ty, ty, ty! 🧡🩷
"... the version of you today is not the exact same person who made that choice before."
Ain't that the truth! We are always changing! The problem I have is a certain person in my life that's not willing to let me live it down. A person who's known me for so long, through many seasons, been there through the ups and down, but still holds my past actions against me because that's how I colored myself. Knowing a mistake was made, knowing 10+ years has passed, and still refuses to forgive truly and let go. It's hard to thrive like that. Nonetheless, God has worked on me in that sense. I have seen my growth. I have seen where I improved. I have seen this. I'm really not the same person to the degree I was. Man, I'm quieted down and calmed down a lot!
I've also been that person before couldn't trust myself on what to do. I would ask the opinions of others-- his, hers, even their's over there-- and then pull from what sounded good to me and then decide. But the problem with that is doing what you think others want you to do or think is best for you... is often times what God did not have planned for me. I know there's a process to this whole thing. Some things I'm designed to go through and experience. Some I'm supposed to fail at, because that failure is what helps me to grow.
That pain, especially, is reason for my growth! ♡
For me-- trusting myself looks like this:
- Not seeking validation from others.
- Being able to identify the people who are only meant to be in my life for a season and not longterm.
- Making those huge life changing decisions no matter how "stupid" people think I am. Regardless, if they think I'll regret it later. I have to do best for the Desiree I am now...
- It's me being comfortable with saying "no" and establishing boundaries.
- It's me owning my mistakes, but realizing my mistakes don't define me. It's me even being able to recognize it and then openly admit-- out loud!
- And, most importantly, it's me kicking those BS thoughts outta my head. You know what I'm talking about. Those thoughts that get me so strung up that I replay it over and over in my head. Those negative thoughts. The should've done this or that thoughts. Those thoughts that don't let me sleep or want to allow me to forgive my ownself. Those thoughts. 😫
- Etc...
I could go on, but these are just some ways Desiree can show trust to herself. ♡ I know this was so long, 🌞, but like I said-- your post just spoke to me. I really appreciate you for this! Xoxo.
@YourCaringConfidant
Awww this was so beautiful to read, truly 🥺🧡 Thank you for taking the time to share all of this so openly, Desiree! Just wanna give you tighesttt hugs first! 🫂🫂🫂🫂
I can feel how much reflection, growth and honesty sits behind your words. And I just want to say, I see youuuu. Like really reaaaalllyyy see you. 🫂💖 What you said about someone not letting go of who you used to be… that hit. That’s such a heavy place to be in, especially when you know within yourself how much you’ve changed. It can feel so unfair when someone keeps holding up an old version of you like it’s still who you are today. But the way you spoke about your own growth… the fact that you can calmly say “I’ve seen my change, I’ve felt it” … that carries so much strength. That kind of self-awareness is not small at all.
And honestly, everything you shared about what self-trust looks like for you? That’s not just growth, that’s deep alignment. Like you mentioned too, “God’s plan for you”. The boundaries, the “no”, the not needing validation, choosing what feels right for you even if others don’t get it… that’s the kind of trust people spend years trying to build. You’re already doing it, even if it doesn’t always feel perfect. Also the part about those thoughts… ugh I know exactly what you mean 😭 those looping, exhausting, self-critical thoughts that just don’t know when to stop. The fact that you’re aware of them and actively trying to push back? That matters so so much more than having a perfectly quiet mind.
You’re showing up for yourself in those moments, and that counts. I loved what you said about some things we’re meant to go through, even fail through. That perspective holds so much grace. Pain shaping growth doesn’t make the pain easy, but it does make it meaningful in a way that softens it a little. Also can I just say… the way you ended with “I have to do what’s best for the Desiree I am now” … that’s it. That’s literally it. 🥺💖 You’re choosing yourself in the present, not punishing yourself for the past. That’s such a powerful shift. I’m really really glad this space could hold this for you, and I’m so grateful you shared your heart like this. Please never feel like it’s “too long” … this is exactly the kind of reflection that makes these spaces feel real and hooman and safe, uh and lol you know I’m never the one to shy from paragraphs hehe! Bring on all of them, I love it! 🫂🥰 Sending you more hugsssss! You’re doing better than you think, truly and I’m soooooo prouddd of you, always! 🥰💖
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Wow, this a beautiful thread... i really needed this ❤️ thank you so much for sharing this with us. idk how... but it boost up my confidence 😊💕
Aww @Ailuraphilelove8tear9 this made me feel so happy to hear. Truly glad you liked it and it helped uplifting your confidence. 🤗💖
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
I always trust my instincts and your gut always tells you.
If something feels wrong, it usually is.
Losing trust in oneself sadly usually comes from other people diminishing us 🩵
@Amanda84
That is soo trueee!
Trusting gut instincts is so so necessary. It definitely helps to keep away the regret later on hehe, and ooofff the painsss of not trusting your gut feeling before is beyond overwhelming!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Yay, another post on this series :D
I reflected on the questions, I think I’m quite trustworthy when it comes to daily decisions 🙃
And as always: really well written, thank you for sharing 💓✨
@Butterfly723389
Hehe yess, thank youu for being such an encouraging presence throughout. I’ve really enjoyed your company! 🥰💖
Its sooo amazing to hear you find yourself trustworthy for the daily decision making, that’s such a huuuge everyday win and I’m so so proud of you! 🦋🥰
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
I'm not responding to this post as I'm opened up about a period of my past when feared every minute of every day for what the future held when Ankylosing Spondylitis left me in crippling pain. I'm extremely hurt and feel victimised for having done so, misunderstood and not listened too when I tried explaining. It is the reason why I have been stepping back and am close to calling it a day.
@RunningMachine
Hope things will soon be ease up for u... you're not alone even if u feel that way 🌸.
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
I don't have an issue with you, I am gradually deCupsing!!
Hey hey @RunningMachine not being listened to and having made to feel misunderstood or victimised when you’re opening up about your pain is so so discouraging, it would make anyone want to not engage more at least then.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
🧡 When was the last time my intuition tried to tell me something? Did I listen to it, or did I override it?
The last time my intuition spoke to me was when I felt unsure about someone, but I kept trying to understand them instead of listening to my own instincts. Looking back, I think I overrode my intuition because I didn’t want to let go of something that felt meaningful to me.
🧡 What is one situation in my life where I actually handled things better than I expected to?
One situation I handled better than I expected was choosing to walk away when I realized it wasn’t right for me anymore. It wasn’t easy, but I’m proud that I was honest with myself.
🧡 Do I tend to trust other people’s judgment more than my own? Why might that be?
I do tend to trust other people’s judgment more than my own, especially when I feel uncertain or emotional. I think it stems from not fully trusting myself yet and a desire for reassurance.
🧡 What is one small decision this week where I can simply listen to myself first?
This week, one small decision I want to make is to pause and listen to my own feelings first before asking others what they think.
🧡 What does trusting yourself currently look like for you?
Right now, trusting myself looks like slowing down and being more honest with what I feel.
It means not ignoring my intuition, even when it’s uncomfortable.
I’m still learning, but I’m trying to show up for myself more.
Hey there @tingtingxin I really appreciate how you took time to respond to all the questions and I feel your answers sound a lot familiar too hehe, something many others can relate with also. 💛
Being able to recognise when something’s not good for you and choosing to walk away even when you found it difficult to shows so much strength honestly and I’m vv proud of youuu!
As hoomans, the need for reassurance is much understandable and it’s super okay to feel like you may trust other people’s judgement more especially when you’re in a vulnerable state of mind. It’s always a growth curve learning more about ourselves and strengthening our inner sense of security and trust within.
For now even acknowledging things sooo clearly and being willing to take a pause and check in with yourself about how you feel/ what you think is so so commendable! How did this self check in moment go for you this past week? 💛
Big big ups for realising what it looks like currently for you to trust self and also how it could help you to trust yourself better. I believe in youuu!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
🧡 When was the last time my intuition tried to tell me something? Did I listen to it, or did I override it?
My intuition told me something was off when I felt anxious, confused, and emotionally drained in my relationship. I knew deep down that I wasn’t being treated the way I deserved, but I kept overriding that feeling because I wanted things to work.
🧡 What is one situation in my life where I actually handled things better than I expected to?
Walking away from a relationship that hurt me. Even though it took time and I struggled, I still chose to leave rather than continue to lose myself. That took more strength than I thought I had.
🧡 Do I tend to trust other people’s judgment more than my own? Why might that be?
Yes, I used to. Because I doubted myself and felt like maybe others knew better than me. I was afraid of making the wrong decision, so I looked for reassurance outside instead of trusting my own feelings.
🧡 What is one small decision this week where I can simply listen to myself first?
Not reaching out to someone who has already shown me inconsistency. Listening to my feelings instead of ignoring them just because I miss them.
🧡 What does trusting yourself currently look like for you?
Trusting myself means believing that my feelings are valid and that I don’t need to ignore them to keep someone. It means knowing that even if I make mistakes, I will learn and protect myself better next time. It means choosing myself, even when it’s hard.
OpenAI. (2026). Digital illustration of a Polynesian-inspired female figure in a tropical coastal setting representing self-discovery and emotional resilience [AI-generated image]. Generated using ChatGPT (DALL·E), OpenAI.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thank you for this reflective article, Sunshine! 🌞💖🤗💖
🧡 Do I tend to trust other people’s judgement more than my own? Why might that be?
I trust my own thoughts because I am always thinking a lot when others don't.
