What's On Your Mind?

@helpme233

I completely understand. You avail and invest yourself in others and their experiences/problems/dramas and yet your left shuffling your own situations and sorting through the muck to keep putting one foot in front of the other. But you do it - why? You're strong - and that's why people turn to you. You do invest in others - and from the sound of it - you invest in yourself as well ... and that too is another reason they come to you.

It's hard to expect the same of others -- and we probably shouldn't. No one shares the same exact life experiences - so no one will ever truly identify with us. They may be similar experiences - but finding that someone willing to invest time to listen (not just hear); take time to process what is being said (think about it not just spitout a response they expect we want), and a willingness to actually proffer an idea or join in finding a solution or a way to cope (yet again, not a canned response/an apology/an ounce of pity - but truly invest in us for an improvement) are very rare - in my opinion and personal experience. When they come into your life -- they'll be there to listen, invest, and stand with you - be it in front (to bear the brunt of something but never steal your light), beside (to walk the path with you and share the burden/joy) or behind (because they are just there to support an amazing and strong person who just needs a little support or some cheering on).

I saw a picture today - even posted it to my feed here... it was captioned:
You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.

Sometimes to put ourselves first, invest in ourselves first, prioritize ourselves first - and that means sometimes we have to do something very painful. Tell someone NO. They can blow up, they take it personally and sulk, they retaliate -- why? They can't see beyond their problems to yours - for some reason we allow our problems to build up as high as tower walls and fail to see that there are keystones and chinks waiting to be pulled for them to tumble down and let us pass (I'd fathom it is because we're overwhelmed and exhausted from the stacking of the initial problem into the giant precipice it becomes and we don't realize it. We are great wall builders - and lay upon a problem more and more levels as we dwell on it, I think) - and we can't see on the other side that someone may be having problems/situations/dramas they're coping with at the same time. We want people we turn to to agree with us (even if we aren't all on the side of right sometimes), we want them to pat us on the back and say it's okay -------- then there are some people who just want you to fix it all for them and they can go back to the same cycle of building the problem (or similar) over again. Those folks - they blow up like a misbehaving child when you tell them no and don't want to make their drama your drama I've come to learn and those are the ones I try to excise from my life -and feel remarkably better when I do.

You can preface it with sorry... but practicing NO and utilizing it can be a saving grace in your own life and coping. Like: I can't listen to you right now, I have to sort through something I'm going through before I can help you. I can't drop everything and help you with your project, I have to make myself a priority and take care of somethings for myself. I know you feel like the world is falling apart - take a deep breathe and take a break -- that's what I have to do right now, I need some time for me - I'm overwhelmed.

It's not a sign you don't care - actually the opposite. You are being mindful of your own needs. You can't help others when you are treading water. You are truly the best listener you have. You are worth your own time. You are the holder of the key to your problem/situation/drama. If you are exhausted in your life - you have nothing left to give of quality to someone else. If you are in pain - it limits the empathy and sympathy you can offer others -- so put your healing first. Can you continue caring about others, if you run out of caring for yourself?

Keep reaching out. Reach out in the forums. Reach out to the listeners. Reach out to members. You have amazing strength - you realize that and so do many others. Reach out - and when the right person is there, they'll reach back.

@sparklyseaweed

What a marvelous experience you are celebrating and thank you for sharing it!

Making friends can be difficult - even if you can talk and interact without boundaries. Sometimes it is so hard to approach someone, reach out, connect - feel vulnearable while you are doing it - and start the foundations of a friendship and you did that!

Thank you for being an inspiration today. I feel happy for you.

@sparklyseaweed That's Awesome!! You are an inspiration:) Bravo

@diplomaticconfucious

Wow thank you, I never heard that proverb before and I really like it! Definitely worth jotting it down as a reminder. Yes, I would say a lot of the questions you wrote are sometimes on my mind as well.

Eye Contact. You mentioned a simple smile and just being kind. Ive noticed too, making eye contact, looking people in their beautiful eyes and making sure they know they are seen and acknowledged makes a small difference. Especially to cashiers or people working at stores. Just being friendly, sometimes people just want to know that they exist and you can see them.

Obviously you can't always tell if it actually makes a difference or nice gestures land anywhere... but if you do simple things like that every day, I bet it will land on at least one person. And if you pay attention to people sometimes you will notice them smile a little or just know they thought that was nice. Especially someone who looks a little sad at the moment. Not always but more often than not.

Also, saying thank you always, saying please, very simple gestures of kindness and May make a difference in someones day! You never know!

I think were often churning and churning in our own lives and we forget the humanity that connects us all day to day. By doing the simple things, a difference is made daily. No matter who you are… maybe you are also solving world hunger or finding a cure to a disease but the small things add up if everyone does them. Thanks for your post! I hope this helped!!!

@PluckyLuck248 * felt