Weekly check in 12.2.23

The problem is, my tears don't come out easily. The most I'd get is teary-eyed. I find myself crying most when I'm watching something emotional in tv dramas. But when it comes to reality, and the emotions that are bottled up, just kind of dissipates on its own before it can come out as tears.

@Kristynsmama

@communicativePond1728

i don’t like scary movies either!

I actually don't watch a lot of movies.. and don't have the sources, as I'm not the type to go to movie theatre. So, it's just tv dramas that I watch most. Watching them from apps on an Ipad.

There's a very old movie, that I've watched multiple times when it first came out.. and I cried every single time. I believe it was called, Simon Birch.

@communicativePond1728

If it's dramas that would make us cry.. at the moment, of the many I'm currently watching, none of them had me shed a tear yet. That female lead in Hidden Love, she's a good actress. I watched most dramas that she was in. Are you into historical period dramas, she was in one early this year that was good. There were some teary-eyed scenes.

The thing with Historical dramas, is they are very long.. like 50 something episodes.

My genre of dramas, if in modern time, is usually along the lines of medical, search and rescue, firefighting, special forces squads or I'll watch a drama based on who the leads are, in support of their acting of which I feel is good and has potential.

When it comes to Historical, I usually only watch the actresses or actors I like and support.

Back to the origin of this thread though, everyone experiences grief in one way or another. Be that a faimly member, friend, or a complete stranger. I know we all process grief differently, and the impact varies from person to person. For myself, I just wish I could let it out with a good cry. Like I mentioned earlier, when it comes to dealing with my own emotions of sadness and grief, I'll only get teary-eyed.

When my grandfather passed more than a decade ago. I didn't shed a tear when I heard he passed away in his sleep after a fall. My dad and Aunt who are the only ones that lived overseas, went back home in time to say their goodbyes. I went to his grave a few years later, and still didn't shed a tear. Come to think of it, the memories I had with my grandfather are becoming a bit blurry. It's saddening, I only remember him through the time he and my grandmother came to visit us shortly after my parents moved out of the home country. But the early memories of before we moved, is only remembered as stories my parents tell me about. As I don't remember much of my life before 5 years old.

Expressing emotions, grief or not, has always been something I have hidden, especially after the first diagnosis of depression decades ago. Now that I'm older, and want to live a better life.. I'm hoping that I could finally let that emotion surface. But being able to cry, I find it the most difficult to express.