35 & Over Room - Badge Lock
Hey everyone. I wanted to let you know that we will be badge-locking the 35 & Over room shortly. This is due to many reports about ongoing, unsupportive behaviour in this space.
To access the room, members must have one of the following badges: Helping Hand, Supportive Smile, Friendly Face, Wise One.
Listeners/moderators will be able to access as usual.
I will post below to confirm when this change has been made.
Thank you and happy chatting! :)
I am having trouble with finding my way around 7cups, I got a message I can put a picture if I went to settings and I can't figure out how to do this lol is there a place I can learn more about learning my way around the app?
@JRG1972 I don't think you can change your picture on the app, I think you can only do that on the site itself.
@Phthalo
You're correct. The app is totally different from the site nd not in good way unfortunately. It still needs some work.
I'm not in the 35+ room and have no business being there but in my experience, a good handful of the disruptive people who go around are long-time members who already have these badges. So this won't affect them.
@Phthalo I picked the spot for the? Not for the room exactly, just thought it might be a good place to start. What do you mean by the actual site? I am so lost and not great with computer
@Heather
This is a really great initiative <3 Thanks for this Heather!! 
The room is now locked.
@Heather Thanks, though I agree with some of the other comments. I have seen the room become less supportive of late. Those of us who do go in wanting to help, or gain understanding, are finding it much harder to do so. Unfortunately that means I dont stay in there long. I do honestly hope this changes things and those who genuinely want help are welcomed. Take care and all the best. x
Thank you heather. This is a good start.
@berry1900 @heather
well, it was a start, but several of the 'mature' members have scattered looking for a new home while the room is occupied by others. We have lost a home. Others' bad behavior made the room unsupportive, ruining the good vibe. Now, it seems nobody wins. 'wins' may not be the right word. In sadness, berry
Just to make sure I understand, people like me, who are in their 40s and new to the site, no longer have the option for chat support unless we earn badges? Even if we have paid membership fees?
I've never used any of the chat rooms, but I like knowing they're available if I need a mature adult to talk with who is in the same life stage as me.
@ImWorthy
Hello Worthy, no it is not a paid badge but a chat badge which you can get by chatting in other rooms. Once you get a badge (say the first one i.e., supportive smile) immediately the room will get unlocked for you. It is a free badge
@Halogen That's not what I asked, but thanks for your concern.
@ImWorthy It doesn't take much group chatting to get your first badge, honestly. I'm not sure how much though.
@Phthalo I do not group chat at all. So, based on my understanding of this - I have to group chat with teenagers in order to be allowed to chat with people my own age??? Explain the logic.
@ImWorthy No not at all, if you're over 18 then you're not chatting with teenagers (they have their own set of chat rooms that we never see). The 35+ room was made because that group of people felt like they needed their own place apart from the younger (18-34) people. The other chat rooms will have anyone over 18 in them.
@ImWorthy
you can chat with anyone (of any age 18+ in any of the rooms...you may come across an 18 yr old or a 50 yr old in any of the rooms) 35+ ws never really only for mature people over 35, unfortunately.. .that was part of the problem (that and trolls)
@ImWorthy The first badge that will unlock the room is Supportive Smile. The requirements are completing 50 group chats and earning 150 compassion hearts
@AffyAvo thank you for explaining. I do not plan to have 50 group chats with people UNDER 35 in order to chat with people my age.
Wish I hadn't spent $150 for 2 years, as this is one less feature I can use.
How about considering that paid members are likely to be OVER 35, rather than under 18 - and therefore if you are a paid member of the site, you can come chat with other paid members who are adults?
@ImWorthy I do understand your concern. I've been thinking about this too and I don't know if this is the right solution for the room. I was just sharing the info for the specific requirement while mulling it over in my head.
There are people over 35 in other rooms, but I do agree the overall demographic tends to be younger than that.
@ImWorthy - I'm afraid so. Sometimes we have to take action to keep certain spaces safe and this was one of those situations. The chat rooms are a free service unrelated to paid membership. It may be possible to reduce the number of chats required to enter the badge-locked rooms, as I'm finding a few users are now struggling with the high number of chats required to access these rooms. I think we can reduce the number required and still keep the rooms safer. Will circle back to this on Monday with an update.
@Heather
How about having ppl show proof of being 35+ to go into the 35+ room and no badges or a 35+ badge for those people. or anohter room really for only 35+ (with proof of age + badge or key to access). The bandaid fix isn't working really. Sorry, i'm trying to be supportive, but its not easy to do in this situation.
@berry1900 There is no way for anyone on the internet to show adequate proof of age, especially on an anonymous site. I wish it could be that simple, but it can not be as easy as someone simply stating, "Well, sure! I'm 39." Taking someone's word for that would be a mistake.
@ImWorthy you can browse listeners for your age group. Simple
I'm just sorry it had to come to this😕
I am also sorry it had to come to this. And even if this doesn't stop all the immature or unsupportive beahvior, I have hope it will lessen it and remove the random folks that go there in their late teens and early 20s that disrupt the intent of the room when they stumble upon it at the top of the list in beginning to explore the chat rooms. The rest of the negative behaviors we are going to have to continue to work on as we go.
I, for one, want to see the room flourish in helping mature folks discuss their life issues.
@ladylazarus1971 ... Could that be helped if we spelled out Thirty-Five? Thereby putting it not 1st, well 2nd after Guest Support. I don't know if that would help with the issue you're raising, but it might be worth a try. ~ Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370 I kinda doubt it, it seems pretty clear at least as far as I can determine. It was worst for awhile, I think, when the room was the very 1st listed. At least now, it's the 2nd. Hahaha!
@ladylazarus1971 Trolls and otherwise disruptive people come in all ages...
@Phthalo I totally agree. I hope it didn't come across that I feel otherwise. The problems I have generally seen seem to stem more from younger folks "usurping" the room and attempting to veer away from its purpose. I have seen people of all ages, in all rooms on Cups, act in negative and unsupporting ways to other particpants. Trolling knows no age limits, that's for certain.
Of course, I have seen just the opposite in almost all the rooms as well-- people here are so frequently supportive and caring about one another and their feelings.
@ladylazarus1971 - That's an excellent point about this room being at the top of the list. We can get that bumped down easily enough and see if that helps too :)
@Heather That would be amazing! Thanks for considering that as an option.
@ladylazarus1971 ... and thanks Platy? ... ... ......................... nevermind
@cyanPlatypus6370 it was a good idea platy I think @Heather simply relied to the last post in the thread on this idea. But ya know it happens. If the change is made n helps you alway have the knowledge that you helped. Lol 💕
@ladylazarus1971
I have also wondered if not having it so visibly at the top of the list might stop some impulsive searches by people that are just bored and looking for a place to hangout. altho i in now way want all the younger members to leave - i have grown fond of some of them and been helped by some of them, there are times where a light-sided and a not-so-light-sided 35+ room might be helpful. we all have different moods and different methods of support can work together.
i realize - i feel - like i have been part of the problem. i would like to change that behavior and be part of the solution. it is difficult when i am easily distractable and emotional to stay on track. i will work within whatever framework is laid out tho and am just happy to have found this place. i hope my being here does not negatively impact others. i am conflicted tho bc i also must do what i must do for my own growth. meaning i do not want to have to leave 7cups just so others might grow. i tell myself it is a place for everyone and i am someone, therefore i qualify. - sorry to take this place to say all this. just feel like it's the elephant in the room.
on the other hand...not everything is about me :)
@Heather
so in other words the moderators aren't doing thier jobs ?
@bubblingPudding37 ... Mods have a difficult job and they can't be everywhere at once. I am a "lowly member" so I don't even know as much as a Listener would in this situation, but mods are really busy - that I do know!
@bubblingPudding37 - My understanding of the situation is that despite being warned/muted repeatedly by moderators, certain individuals were returning repeatedly on new accounts. The idea of the badge lock is to limit this type of behaviour.
i was new to the room a week ago, and i dont spend hours logged in chat, so it is sad that for some of us we need to dedicate our time to come here? does that seem fair?
