Support Protocol on Dissociative Behavior in Group Support Rooms
Updated: 9/9/20
Hi Community,
We have acknowledged your insightful and useful feedback on the protocol that we are implementing on the platform to make it a safe and healing space for all users. We wanted to thank each and every one of you for your comments which have helped us revise the protocol.
We have conceptualized this more broadly as dissociative behaviors in group rooms. This protocol applies to all people on the platform. As always, any behavior that takes away from the therapeutic environment in group rooms will not be accepted.
All users are expected to follow our community guidelines. Any violations of guidelines will be looked into under our Behaviour Points System and appropriate actions will be taken. This is to ensure the safety of the user and our broader community.
We also want to clarify that while we encourage people to seek support in the appropriate forum section (in relevance to their experiences) as all are welcome to participate as long as forum and sub-community specific guidelines are followed (if any).
Dissociation & Crisis
As per our site policy, any user who is currently in crisis needs to be referred to 7cups.com/crisis. If you are a listener supporting a member experiencing dissociation or switching who is in a crisis situation, please refer them and give them the space to reach out. You can read our crisis policy here.
We hope at 7 Cups that this revised protocol will be accepted and implemented to protect and care for our community that we all love!
I'm confused.
The crisis policy - got it, makes sense.
This part though:
If you have encountered an individual in the chatrooms with DID please refer them to the DID community on 7 Cups and to a 1:1 setting at 7 Cups. You might want to say to them, Its great that you reached out but the 7 Cups support protocol on DID outlines that this type of support is not suited for a user experiencing DID. Have you reached out to the DID community here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/TraumaSupport_60/DissociationDID_919/1/ or looked for other resources both online and offline? If you encounter any issues informing the user to look for 1:1 support please inform the community team.
How am I supposed to know if someone has DID? If this is based on a diagnosis, it seems odd to me it's then ok for those who are not diagnosed but have it to be present and not those with the diagnosis.
Moving forward, anyone experiencing DID-related dissociation in a group room will be asked to connect 1-1 or seek support in the appropriate forum section. We will be closely monitoring the impact of this new protocol on our community to provide everyone with the best of support.
Why DID related dissociation? What about others who also experience dissociation? What about OSDD?
Are people with DID allowed to be in the chats when they are not dissociating? The former part makes it sound like no, the latter, yes.
@AffyAvo
I agree!
We have OSDD Type 1, which does include alters, but is not DID! We all deserve equal acknolegdment, representaion, and respect :)
@Fullhousesystem I don't understand all the various conditions, so it's difficult for me to speak out strongly against the policy in terms of how to best support people. I've done a bit of reading because of some of the posts, but I'm far from an expert.
Telling people they can't go to support rooms because of a diagnosis though is something I am very much against. If it's a rule about needing to leave the rooms when dissociating - I don't know if that's reasonable or not. At the very least, it needs to be applied equally.
@AffyAvo
I'm not going to speak for anyone, but my understanding was that there was a lot of confusion when alters came out. People voiced concerns about those underage/overage being on the wrong sides of the site (both adults and teens). For example, an 8 year old alter being on the teen side even though technically you have to be 13. A 10 year old on the Adult side, etc. This is the proposed solution. But again, definitely wait for Hope's clarification.
@EvelyneRose
I have a feeling were going to be Waiting awhile
@AffyAvo
Thank you for your input and your keen observations. I have always thought of you as the person who would stand by the cliff and ask the lemmings "Do you REALLY want to jump off that cliff?" You tend to see the hard truths that are easy to miss when we are caught up in a flurry of activity. Many times I have seen you offer input in a way that brought so much clarity and often you have influenced policy changes. And it was for the better. We are very lucky to have you here at 7cups. I know I have become a better person because you have challenged me. One thing I have learned to count on is that although you may challenge me, your intention is always to work towards a greater good, You seek to hold 7cups to a higher standard, and I truly believe 7cups is capable of reaching a higher standard. When you challenge me it is never about petty criticism or competitiveness, it is always about urging us all to work hard to make 7cups a better place. Thank you for being the voice of reason. You see the forest when I see the trees, and your guidance has been invaluable.
@BlindGrapefruit Thanks for seeing me, appreciating what it is I try to do here - sometimes successfully sometimes not.
I think it's great that 7 cups is a place where people can come for support on almost any issue, with a few exceptions. It can be hard for some people to do that. I always hope that when people come here with any of the issues that do not fall under those few exceptions they get the support they seek. I hope as a community we want to reduce stigma, not add to it.
I recently made a post about better support for members and listeners with DID, and this is not what I had in mind. What I envisioned was more clarity in the forums and with connecting to a listener so they could more easily get support, not barring them from a means of support. I have a couple propositions to make in reference to this proposed ban.
- A DID-specific Support Room- It can be implimented as a daily support room- I believe Sunday currently is open on the Teen side. This would allow systems to continue to participate in chatrooms and talk with friends, while letting other members know that they may meet alters who are over or underage for that side of the site. "...An online group support chat room not specifically aimed at DID is not the most fitting form of support." Well, if we implimented this room, it would be aimed at DID and could serve as a more fitting form of support.
- Mute Buttons: Use them - If a member feels uncomfortable when they encounter a system or alter, or what the alter is talking about, then they can personally mute the alter as to not see their messages. This would help ensure that members feel safe. Plus, a number of systems specify which alter is talking when they use chatrooms, so it would be easier for members to mute them if they don't want to engage with systems.
I agree with the comments that other users are making- banning Systems and Alters from our group chatrooms, which are open to everyone with required badges, counts as discrimination. Prohibiting them from using the chatrooms and forcing them to use the forums and 1-on-1 chats only alienates them and separates them from the rest of our community. Since a number of alters form because of a trauma, which often includes neglect, it could cause some of the alter's trauma to worsen, potentially upsetting a stable system.
7Cups is supposed to be a safe site for everyone, but by discriminating against users with DID, it becomes unsafe for them. If it's not safe for one community, then it shouldn't be safe for all of us. 7Cups has rules against discrimination (no racism, sexism, general hate, homophobia, etc), but this goes against those rules.
I will revoke my privileges as Chatroom Support until users with DID are allowed to use the rooms. They are people too, and should be treated equally, like the rest of us on here.
~An Ally of Systems, Light.
@LightDragon Well said hugs
@Glossytears *hugs back*
@LightDragon
Hi Light! Thank you for your thoughts! I will copy and paste what I wrote to someone else as it's the same question.
If you don't mind me asking, and if you do it's ok not to answer, but what would you propose to be a fair solution? What is a fair way to balance the rules of the site (no one under 13 on teen side or under 18 on adult) with DID needs? I'm thinking just members here since they usually are the accounts used for support. Thanks!
@EvelyneRose
Maybe the host can stay out in chatrooms? It would keep the age rule. Will my peer support and SC host be taken away? I have to work hard and keep logging out, but my alters know not to get on. Banning a group of people based on mental illness is a ver interesting choice for this site.
@EvelyneRose
Also, this is a safe place on my mem account. 7 cups is so important!
@Itisbailey
I understand! I don't know those answers, I'm just trying to shed some light on where this started from. There was a lot of concern and confusion about different ages being on the wrong side, which presents safety concerns, and of course depending on age may be against the 13-17 and above 18 rule. That's no one's fault, but it is something to figure out.
@EvelyneRose
That does seem very scary. Alters can be vulnerable, especially with the age differences. I hope there is a safe and fair answer somewhere.
@EvelyneRose
I think the idea that others have mentioned, about allowing the host to be in the chatrooms makes sense, but at the same time, it prevents alters from seeing friends they might have. Perhaps allowing alters in the right age range to participate in chatrooms, and allowing them to speak for other alters that are either too young or too old would work. It would be an adjustment for systems to make, but it would follow the age rule while still allowing systems-both the host and some alters, to participate in discussions, talk with friends, and meet new people.
It's a good question you asked, and I don't want to alienate them further. I am aware that my idea alienates some of the younger or older alters, but maybe it could be a compromise? I don't want to fully endorse this idea of age-restricting alters, even though I wrote it, until I know how it would affect systems mentally.
@Hope
We have been struggling our whole lives with acceptance. The fact that this one place that made us once feel accepted and part of a community, even a family; and now has left us alienized and alone deeply upsets us. We have been repeatedly pushed away from 7 Cups because of our DID. We will not stand for this. We love 7 Cups and do not wish to leave, but if we are to be subjected to rejection and being pushed away, we will have to leave for the sake of our mental health. As a mental health outlet that is so inclusive, it seems to be pretty exclusive right now. Everyone deserves to be happy, to have a safe place to talk and 7 Cups was that for us. A forum that has not been posted in since July (until my recent post today) is *not* a safe place. It does not give us the same courtesy to us that you give everyone else on the site. I refuse to accept this change. We will comply but will protest until something is changed. We will not be silenced, we will not be pushed away, we will not let 7 Cups add to the stigmatization of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD). We may be rare, but we are not mutants, we are *people* we have feelings, we have hurt, and those of us that are traumagenic have experienced more hurt than can be imagined by most. We think that after all we have been through we should be treated just as well as everyone else. We suggest that to fix this issue, in which is not a small issue, you create a support chat for OSDD and DID. Enough is enough. Sending love and hope to all💞
@sadleafycup
*hugs* We will stand strong with you
@Animals4life111
*hugs back* we need to stick together, not just people with DID/OSDD, but people like you, our allies. <3
@sadleafycup
We stand together, stay strong, fight to the end 💗
@Fireskye13
Yes we do💞
Hello, my name is May, and I am the Host of the Full House System!
I can confidently say that my system is concerned and disturbed by this new protocol.
The reality only being "accepted" under certain rules and regulations implicated just for "us" is invalidating and upsetting.
From Littles not being allowed in chat rooms, to all alters now facing the same, we are feeling more and more excluded every day. We joined 7 Cups in search of a safe, inclusive, and validating community. However, slowly but surely, this ideal seems to be slipping through the cracks of equality.
As a traumagenic system, we have been through so much- and the world is not designed for us to have an easy life going forward. Every day we face backlash, and wake up in fear of the consequences the media and stigma inflict on us. DID is an incredibly misunderstood and stigmatized disorder- I would never want 7 Cups to add to the feeling of isolation my system lives in.
We will not be painted as monsters or predators- we are victims and we are survivors
DID is not as rare as many believe it to be. It affects 1-3% of the population- Just as common as bulimia. We are far and somewhat-few between, but we are here, with our voices raised, ever yet.
As a mental health advocate, I am dedicating my life to raising awareness about this disorder. I will continue fighting against organized hate and discrimination, of any kind and/or severity. I shall keep marching, to step closer and closer to equality for all.
I hope to stand for every single system on this site when I say: We will not be silenced. We will not be overlooked, we will not be ignored. We will not be shoved to the sidelines, or kept in the dark where we've hidden for too long.
- May, an Alter, a proud one
Our new profile picture can be found and shared/used here: https://imgur.com/a/CO9mo0h
@Fullhousesystem
can I use your pfp as well? This is not right. *hugs*
@Animals4life111
Of course!
That's the whole point- thank you so much for supporting!
@Fullhousesystem
Share to the Group chat's too. I think some others would like to stand with us <3 :)
@Animals4life111 @fullhousesystem
You can also find it here https://ibb.co/dB5TLp1 🤗
@Animals4life111
From the bottom of a traumatized but caring heart, thank you for you support 💖
@Fullhousesystem
Hi May! Thank you for your thoughts. I myself don't know a lot about DID, so this was interesting to learn. I was not part of this decision, and I see it has made a big impact. If you don't mind me asking, and if you do it's ok not to answer, but what would you propose to be a fair solution? What is a fair way to balance the rules of the site (no one under 13 on teen side or under 18 on adult) with DID needs? I'm thinking just members here since they usually are the accounts used for support.
@EvelyneRose I have more questions in response to your question. What about people who identify with a different age than their biological age? What about those who experience age regression at times? Why is it just DID that is singled out?
@AffyAvo
Couldn't tell you! Wasn't part of this decision. Hopefully Hope can clarify.
@EvelyneRose Thanks, it seems like there needs to be a lot of clarifying before it's even clear what aspects are problematic.
@AffyAvo
I agree!
@Fullhousesystem
Yes let our voices be heard!!! Stand strong we will prevail against all!!!
Everyone with DID/OSDD I support you <3
If theres a listener that can PM me please do it :'( i need support and help im broken
@Glossytears
same :(
@Glossytears
I would but we're on different sides of the site.
@LightDragon :'( thanksies tho <3 is okie what matters is you wanted help me
@Glossytears
Pm me
@sadleafycupl I cant says youre in teen side :'(
@Glossytears
😥 np
Let's take a stand <3
DID Support profile pictures
https://ibb.co/R2T6Gv8
https://ibb.co/YtHwNNh
https://ibb.co/HCxyLGw
https://ibb.co/M9pQ2Dc
https://ibb.co/zm5VJ8J
https://ibb.co/L9Jr3VX
I'm here for all the systems on this site <3 Stay strong!
If any teen needs a listener to talk about this issue, don't hesitate to pm me 🤗
Same here- My PMs are open to everyone.
@Hope
The people with DID, are hard to understand, but they are nice and good people. The alters are really sweet. There could be alters who bypass the guidelines but please understand. It's not their fault. Alters known as prosecutors do a lot for the system. They have so much trauma. This is done so that the host doesn't have all that trauma.
I understand that we may not understand the problems a system is facing but we can still support them. They are people the inner world may not be real for you but it is as real as this world is for them.
Members with DID are loved by us and they love us too. They're nice people. If a person misbehaves, then please try and understand their side of the thing. They're strong. They could be dealing with more trauma than I could possibly imagine.
I'm just getting used to losing my friends.
@CaptainRex
Well said,!!!
@CaptainRex
Thanks for the support, we all greatly appreciate it. � I understand how it feels to lose friends, ima sincerely hoping not to lose all the ones I've made here. �