WEEKLY HEALTHY LIVING CHECK-IN MARCH 30TH, 2018~

**This past week has gone well... not as busy. I am managing to stay on track better with everything this week. (Food, water, activity) especially since I had gotten "de-railed" last month..... I feel like mentally I'm finally getting back to where I was with things...Activity wasn't an issue, But the food was~..... But I can finally say that everyday this week I managed to do well and stay on track with my food each day..... I've been doing much better with my sleep being the "natural night-owl" that I am, and have been trying to set a decent bed-time for myself and get the 'minimum' hours that I desire for myself.

**This past week the weather has been nice and mild. Although its been nice and Sunny, (the air still had a "chill" to it and could've been a little bit warmer in my opinion)~ But, I did manage to get out and back to walking again several times this week, and finally have been able to get my dog out regulary as well... It really helps me to have my pet, because when its nice out my desire is to get him out and get him activity during the day, which gets me activity too. I took him to his favorite place today at the Lake~ After walking him a few rounds, we just sat lakeside in the breeze and the sunshine and watched all the boaters~ I love days like that with him. So peaceful~

**Today is my FREE day.... and its also the Bi-monthly local Pound Fitness class... I haven't gone in over a month. In my 2 years of going, I've only missed like 2 classes (up until last month that is)... Since I'm back to feeling more of myself finally, My intention is that I would finally like to get back to it and start back to going again to get my activity in on Saturdays. So while I'm still not back to teaching my own, I still want to go and enjoy this one or others if or when I can~ And its also "errand" day then hopefully some relaxation~

ENJOY YOUR DAY AND YOUR WEEKEND AHEAD~

@PoliteOcean

This past week has been going pretty good! Joined a gym, joined group fitness classes and am loving BodyJam and Zumba classes. Theyre the only two Ive been to so far, but Im hoping to join a cycle and Pilates class soon. Personal trainer is nice, will see him again next week for the official workouts and nutrition discussion (I think... to be honest, I have no clue whats happening. Just going with the flow atm!)

Eating healthier than I ever have before, which Im surprised by! Greek yoghurt (can you believe Im finally starting to like Greek yoghurt? I was a firm believer of non-Greek yoghurt... didnt like the taste before), trail mix, lots of fruits, and ate a wrap today (no idea if its actually healthy, but the store is advertised as only selling healthy food). I wonder if sushi is healthy? If so, Im going strong 😂

Thanks to the antidepressants, I feel like Im productive again with uni work. I dont know if itll last, but Im hoping so. I hope it stays like this forever. I spent all of yesterday (10-12 hours) writing and finishing my first draft of an essay due in 9 days! This is so not me- before, I wouldve either ignored it and never started, or started the day it was due. I feel like Ill take pride of this essay even if I dont get a mark above what I desire (14/20) because Ive put effort into it. Hoping to edit it etc in these coming few days.

Winter is starting soon for me :( even though its currently autumn, Im starting to feel the cold :( Im not liking it!! Glad I have a car now though, dont need to wait in the cold for public transport anymore (and feel the buses blasting aircon even though its so cold outside...)

March overall has been good :) I have work now, break over! Haha see ya xx

- This past week has definitely been exhausting and stressful for me with school and extracurricular commitments.

- For me, it's actually Autumn here and it's definitely been getting colder with lots of rain. I'm really enjoying wearing fuzzy socks, drinking tea and just relaxing. I've been cozying up and reading a little bit lately, although I'm hoping next month I can spend more time reading and journaling.

- Overall, I feel like this month has totally kicked my butt in terms of my mental health. I've definitely felt my lowest during these past few weeks, but I'm glad it's almost the end of the school term for me and I have time to unwind and destress.

- My struggles over the past week have definitely been stress for music exams as I play four instruments and it's been difficult with commitments like normal school and homework, psychiatrist and podiatrist. A highlight, however, has been taking a few periods off school on Friday because of mental health issues. I felt a lot better having time to destress away from the school environment.

- It's already Saturday for me, but tomorrow's plans are to hopefully make some sausage rolls, practice music and doing some more reading.

@PoliteOcean

**How Have you been doing this past week?! This past week I have been better than the week before but I haven't felt emotion too much and been absolutely exhausted. I reached 6 weeks with my boyfriend which was amazing and I am in a new friendship group which I'm really enjoying so far.

**How have you been enjoying the Spring-time weather? What things have you been doing more of since Spring has started?! The weather has been so much nicer recently but I swear a lot even with deodorant (TMI?) so I am getting anxious about that. I'm sure I'll be able to sort something out. Since the Spring started I haven't really been doing more of anything to be honest.

**This is our LAST Check-in for the Month of MARCH!.. How do you feel this month has gone for you "Overall"? What has been the Best part of this month for you? Wow, I can't believe March is already almost over. I think this Month hasn't gone the best for me. It's been worse than March but whichever way it goes I will find a way to cope. The best part of this Month was probably reaching the 1-month mark with my boyfriend. I sound so obsessed with him, Sorry.

**What have been your "Highlights" Or "Struggles" over this past week? Over the past week, I think my highlights have been reaching enough money to buy a gym membership, realising I have lost weight ( I guess that could be a struggle too), having a takeaway and an enjoyable night without my mum, and being part of a new friendship group. Wow, more highlights than I realised! I guess some struggles are not having anyone to hang out with at the start of the week, tests ( although I got a 7 on one and 6 on another, so A and B, arguments and drama everywhere...

**What are your weekend Plans?! I think I have to go to this animal farm open day thing today. I'm not sure. I do want to dye the underlayer of my hair though and exercise/

'morning everyone. I'm sorry I never read anyone but the few times I've tried I mostly ended up being triggered, so... My apologies.

Finally the ED obsession is starting to crawl back where it came from. It's still there but not as strong. In the meanwhile I relapsed badly into depression, being sui and self harm urges, because I was triggered. I self harmed once, nothing major and I don't really consider it a relapse. It's just a little accident. I trust it won't happen again, because now I feel better, not suicidal, depression is going away.

The things that triggered me, as I already mentioned on a late post in the previous check-in, were my mother asking why, if she was so problematic, "her other child", which would be my younger brother, didn't have all these issues. Well, there truly are tons of objective reasons, but for so much time I couldn't believe those reasons to be real and I couldn't but label them as stupid excuses and blame myself for all the issues I had, and fear that I would never get better because it was just the way I was. I had almost started to believe the objective difference between my brother's situation growing up and mine, and my mother kicked me back into doubt, and I started blaming myself again. This makes such a huge difference. It's literally the most huge source of self hate for me. I already struggled with this, when I found out that my boyfriend's best friend, who knows the situation with my mental health, said that he wouldn't wish to be with a person like me to anyone. And I honestly don't know how to proof him wrong. I already feel so guilty for what my boyfriend goes through with me, but I try not to beat me up also for this, or I'll never get any better and my boyfriend will go through even worse stuff. It hurt though, and it made me terrified to have people close to me, even if just as friends. I feel a like a burden.

Now it's a little better. My boyfriend also helped me through this. In the meanwhile some ptsd triggers occurred, and I obviously felt even more awful in that right moment, but then it helped me to remember that I am like this because of specific things that happened during my life, sometimes ptsd triggers and responses are so clear, exactly re-inacting a scene that belongs to the past, so how can it be not trauma related? I can't be born with ptsd over a specific fact lol. So now I'm not blaming myself anymore and it's all a lot better. And I'm slowly trying to put myself back together.

I'm happy with the fact that most of the days in a week I manage t get a full healthy meal rather than random biscuits or junk food or even nothing. Most of the days I have at least 2 meals, wow! And I'm also doing some clean up around the house. Not as much as I should, but it's something. I've been off from university all past week and I'm not doing so good with being in touch with reality. When I don't have to eat or cook I go back to bed or I play video games for hours to feel disconnected. Agoraphobia is pretty bad, I have to do the shop but I'm not doing it, it's been days, I'm surviving on frozen stuff and canned products. I let my boyfriend clean the stairs of the apartment block although I told him I would have done it, but I was too scared stay outside the door for so long. So I'm not moving that much, I guess my muscles are atrophic by now.

Well that's more or less the situation. Have a good weekend! ✨☀️🐦🌿

Spring always boost my energy levels, and this year is no exception. I really needed winter to be done. Have been much more active with the warmer weather. I just hope the weeks do not go too fast so I can enjoy this time of year. It seems weeks fly by. My diet could be a little better, still trying to break the winter eating habits. Have been eating healthy but have to be careful with eating bread. If I limit the amount of bread from my diet I can keep weight stable. Another weekend of outdoor projects and exercise. Enjoy your weekend.

@PoliteOcean

**How Have you been doing this past week?! pretty ok :)

**How have you been enjoying the Spring-time weather? What things have you been doing more of since Spring has started?! Spring weather hasn't shown up in Chicago yet

**This is our LAST Check-in for the Month of MARCH!.. How do you feel this month has gone for you "Overall"? What has been the Best part of this month for you? I think it has been going well. I started an anxiety support group and I have been enjoying that

**What have been your "Highlights" Or "Struggles" over this past week? highlights would be my support group, struggles would be keeping up with work

**What are your weekend Plans?! relax today...work tomorrow

@PoliteOcean

this week has been something for sure i quit my job have no idea what im going to do next im being pressure to do so much Im honestly not ready to do anything yet but i know i need to but its getting hard to find the will

@PoliteOcean: I went to my physical therapy appointment on Tuesday, and I liked my therapist, but the office was really crowded. I don't like cramped, noisy spaces - it causes me a lot of stress because I'm a chronic pain patient. The noise level went down after about 20 minutes but I'm not going back to that place again. It was one of those old houses that had been converted to office space, but it still had the floor plan of a house. There were about 5 patients in the living room, and maybe 3 in the kitchen and 3 in the dining room, and then 2-3 in each of the bedrooms. I'm going to try to find a different physical therapy office, then maybe it will work out better for me. I'm not happy with the path of treatment my doctor has me on, but it's the only path my insurance will pay for. I am working with a patient advocate Cynthia and benefits specialist Jim to try to appeal the State's decision on my benefits. I'm learning how to cook little by little. Those YouTube cooking videos are fabulous.

I have been so happy this past week! I visited with my brothers, went to Wondercon, and made lots of art!

The spring has been so lovely to me-- I hung out in the park for most of the day with my brother today!

This month was full of learning and progress for me! It was good. I'm chugging along. I struggled some with the ups and down of mental health, but we're alright! We're kickin.

Thanks :)