IDG Dimension 3: Relating - Caring for Others and the World
Caring for others and the World stand out to me the most in the Inner Development Path. The reason that this community was built and the fact that all of us are here is due to this factor.
More importantly, empathy is a skill that can be learned, rather than an inborn characteristic. I still look back and question myself, how did I learn to be kind? I was somewhat a troublesome kid, but now seeing others in pain hurts me just as much. And this nature, brought me the people that are very dear to me, also strengthened my bond with my family. Helped me learn other skills like acceptance. I want to spend my life helping people, that's why I planned to study Psychology.
One important thing that I would like to highlight is - You cannot pour from an empty cup - this is something I learned very recently. I would go down the way for others, but wouldn’t take time for my own peace, which led to burnout and emotional detachment. But now I remind myself to give some grace, every once and then, this not only brought me peace but enhanced my empathetic skill too.
Discussion Questions:
Which skill did you learn first—caring for yourself or caring for others?
Which one would you suggest others focus on learning first?
Looking forward to reading your thoughts😊💛🍀
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun I really enjoyed reading everything you wrote. I think you did a wonderful job. 👏 After reading your post, I realized just how different people really are. Don't get ne wrong-- I mean, I know we're all different, but you and I just think and believe totally opposite. 😀
You said, "empathy is a skill that can be learned, rather than an inborn characteristic."
Honestly, I disagree. I believe that empathy is innate and we either have it in us or we don't. Some people just feel deeply more than others, and some people just lack empathy. Referring to empathy as a "skill" is to say unempathetic people can just learn how to feel and be empathetic. I just don't agree with that. However, if you mention sympathy then I would definitely agree that sympathy is a skill that can be learned. There's a big difference, in my opinion. Anyway, here are my responses to your questions. :)
Discussion Questions:
Which skill did you learn first—caring for yourself or caring for others?
I learnt caring for myself first, then I grew up and started caring for others.
Which one would you suggest others focus on learning first?
I would suggest that others learn caring for themselves first. Making yourself a priority and choosing you is not selfish. They say "you can't love others if you don't love yourself." The same applies here-- we can't really give and show true care to others when we are not caring for ourselves. When we love and care for ourselves and put ourselves as a priority then that opens our heart to be able to adequately cate for others. Sometimes giving of ourselves can be tiring and draining no matter how much we want to be able to show care. We matter too. 😀
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I really did enjoy reading your post despite how different we are. I hope you have a beautiful day. ❤️
I am also really glad to know that you learned to take care of yourself first. I couldn't agree more with your discussion answers, they are really heartwarming. I can see you are just as your username suggests, CaringConfidant!🌟
Again, I am really grateful for your comment. And I wish that you stay the way you are, while receiving much more warmth and growth!💛
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun Thank you so much. That means so much to me! ❤️
@YourCaringConfidant You are most welcome!!
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun
I always learnt to care for others , I still do the same, I worry about others before myself.
I'm still learning what my needs look like and how to start balancing things out 🥰
@Amanda84
For sure, you are our version of Mother Nature here at Cups!
@caringShoulder1357
Ah that's lovely 💚
@Amanda84 I can totally relate with you and you have such a big heart. I wish you all the best on your journey to finding out about your needs and balancing things out.
Take care!🍀💛
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun
@Amanda84 You are most welcome <3
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun
I learned for caring for myself first, then later for others. I feel that you need to be able to care for yourself first, not to say that is how it is, or that it is a rule of thumb.
@caringShoulder1357 That's so wonderful and I am happy for you.
Wishing you so much growth and warmth~🍀💛
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun I think I learned to care for others before I really learned how to care for myself. I used to think putting others first was always the right thing, but I’ve realised you can burn yourself out doing that. I’d probably say learning to care for yourself is really important because it makes it easier to genuinely support other people too.
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun
i learned to care for others over myself, but i'd suggest others to learn to care for themselves first. caring for others over myself only turned me into a people pleaser, causing me a lot of sadness and frustration. it makes no one happy in the end. when you care for yourself, you can find a healthy balance in taking care of yourself and others! <3
@yoursmileisasradientastheSun I really relate to the idea that we can care deeply for others while forgetting to care for ourselves. I think I learned to care for others first, and only later realized that self-care isn’t separate from compassion—it actually makes it easier to be there for people without becoming emotionally exhausted. As a therapist, this is something I’m still learning in practice. Sometimes giving myself permission to rest or step back feels uncomfortable, but I’ve noticed that when I do, I can come back with more patience and empathy. So I’d probably suggest starting with both, but making sure caring for yourself isn’t always the part that gets left behind.
