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Course 2, Discussion 5: Conflict Resolution 101: Dealing with Gossip and Triangulation

User Profile: FrenchToast
FrenchToast December 5th, 2022

Let's call you Person A. Now, you have a problem with Person B and really dont know what to do about it. You go to Person C to discuss it. This is triangulation, when a problem between 2 people comes to involved a 3rd person unnecessarily.

While gossiping is spreading or engaging in the discussion of any information that is not true, exaggerated or hurtful to the individual. If you are not comfortable saying the same to someone directly, it is likely gossip and should not be shared with third person.

The triangulation process can happen in all relationships. Let's say someone is offended by another user. Triangulation can be very tempting, but it ultimately only ends up negatively impacting all involved. Having clear, calm, and honest conversation is challenging and requires you to overcome your fears, but, when done right, it positively impacts all involved.

At times a person doesn't realize that some words or phrases may seem intimidating to another person.We all come from different backgrounds thus it is important for us to support each other.

Why is triangulation unhelpful?

Because it perpetuates the spread of information, which can be hurtful to those involved. It lends itself to rumor spreading and it takes a private situation between two users and exposes it to more people.

What should you do if someone comes to you for support on something which occurred in the community?

1) Never share the names of another user

2) Never share specific details of a chat with another user

3) If someone wants to share with you, please say this:

"I am sorry this happened! Sounds like a challenging situation. As to avoid triangulation, it would be best for you to practice conflict resolution with that person. If conflict resolution is not possible, please let a community manager know by filing a L-L report. Please do not share this situation with other users as to preserve confidentiality.

Special note: You should avoid triangulation with all other users, including mentors, group mods, peer supporters, mentor leaders and ambassadors. Any time a situation cannot be worked out via conflict resolution, please file a L-L report.

We have covered the don’ts, now lets see how we can resolve conflict.

  1. Step back and slow down

    1. Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.

  2. Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation

    1. Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.

    2. Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.

  3. Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story

    1. Do not convince them you are right.

    2. Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.

  4. Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict

    1. Use I statements to express yourself.

    2. State a feeling rather than judging.

  5. Be responsible for your assumptions

    1. On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.

  6. Find a common ground

    1. Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.

✒️ Taking responsibility for our actions: Take the Pledge!

As a listener in our community, it is your responsibility to stop triangulation when you see it or are invited to participate in it. Doing this will keep our community healthy and moving in a positive direction. I challenge you all to take the Avoiding Triangulation Pledge:

"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."

✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!

❗❗After posting, please...

1. Take the course exam here to complete course 2.

2. Proceed to Course 3!


🔉This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program, find information on it here tinyurl.com/AcademyLDP

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User Profile: SkyeBanfeild
SkyeBanfeild February 26th

@FrenchToast
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

LouieRose' Avoiding Triangulation Pledge:

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

User Profile: Aurora123lights
Aurora123lights March 18th

@FrenchToast

In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

User Profile: soulout
soulout March 19th

@FrenchToast

Avoiding Triangulation Pledge:

"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."

Signed: Soulout

User Profile: Sompo2402
Sompo2402 March 22nd

@FrenchToast

Taking responsibility for my actions: Pledge
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will actively work to maintain a respectful and supportive environment by avoiding gossip and stopping triangulation when I see it. I will communicate directly, honestly, and professionally, and I will not involve myself in situations that do not require my presence. If a conflict cannot be resolved through conversation, I will guide the person toward the appropriate support channels while respecting confidentiality.

3 replies
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat May 6th

@Sompo2402

You did a great job my girl 😊💕!! 

2 replies
User Profile: Sompo2402
Sompo2402 May 12th

@AiluraTheCat

aww thank you sm cat
bear hugs for you


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@FrenchToast

My pledge:

"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."

User Profile: lamimoon
lamimoon April 5th

Lamimoon's Pledge: In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.

1 reply
User Profile: gentlemelon85
gentlemelon85 April 17th

Great job !

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User Profile: gentlemelon85
gentlemelon85 April 17th

gentlemelon's pledge

"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."


1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat May 6th

@gentlemelon85

Appreciate you a lot <3 😊

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User Profile: blitheMagic9358
blitheMagic9358 April 25th

@FrenchToast I take the Avoiding Triangulation Pledge. In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will help maintain a healthy and supportive environment by avoiding rumors, gossip, and unnecessary involvement in conflicts. I will encourage direct, respectful communication and remain professional in situations that do not require my presence. This helps build trust, understanding, and a stronger community.

User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat May 6th

@FrenchToast

My pledge 😊!

//In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by avoiding gossip and triangulation. I will respect confidentiality, communicate directly when needed, and not involve myself in situations that do not require my presence. I will aim to handle conflicts with honesty, patience, and professionalism.//

2 replies

@AiluraTheCat,

🌸

1 reply
User Profile: AiluraTheCat
AiluraTheCat May 21st

@IamSkyBlueAakash

🤗❤️

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