Course 3, Discussion 3: When you don't get the role you want
Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@FrenchToast
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
- If I found out I wasn't given a role I wouldn't take it personally. I would respond by reaching out to the Leader and ask for feedback on what I can do to improve my chances of earning the role I requested. I would also take the time to reflect on self care and reach out to a mentor for guidance.
@soulout
These are amazing steps!!
@FrenchToast
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I will respond kindly, thanking the leader for their time. Then, I will take some time to reflect on areas I can improve. I will say:
Good day. I understand. I appreciate you informing me. Thank you so much for the opportunity still and for the time and consideration you have given my application!
@LouieRose
Really respectful and gracious response!
@FrenchToast
If I wasn't given a role, I'd try to take a step back and reflect. I would focus on self-care, remind myself that everyone grows at their own pace, and see it as an opportunity to improve.
To the leader, I'd respond something like:
"Thank you for letting me know and for the opportunity to apply. I'd really appreciate any feedback on how I can improve or what I can work on to be better prepared next time."
A very good mindset full of determination!
great message full of clarity !
@listeningyouout29 I really liked your response—it shows maturity and a positive mindset. Handling rejection this way makes it easier to grow and come back stronger next time.
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Hi (name)! Thank you for reviewing my application and letting me know. Would it be okay with you to give me some constructive feedback on what was the reason I got rejected and what can I improve. Thank you in advance!
@lamimoon good good
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would feel disappointed but I would direct my efforts into improving and finding something else. There is bound to be something else that will work out for me.
I would also say "Hello, I am gentlemelon and I was applying for XYZ role but didn't get the position. Can you please give me feedback on the things I should improve and the things which you found good or bad in my attempt ?"
@FrenchToast Thank you for letting me know. While I’m a bit disappointed, I really appreciate the opportunity to apply and would value any feedback you can share on how I can improve for future roles. I’m still motivated to grow and contribute, and I’ll continue working on developing the skills needed.
@blitheMagic9358
I like how respectful and mature your response sounds 😊
You acknowledged the disappointment honestly, but still focused on growth and improvement instead of reacting negatively :)
I also liked that you showed willingness to continue contributing to the community despite not getting the role 😊!
You're amazing, appreciate you ❤️!
@FrenchToast
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I didn’t get a role, I would probably feel disappointed at first, but I would try not to take it personally. I would take some time to reflect, focus on improving myself, and use the feedback to grow instead of giving up.
I would respond respectfully to the leader and thank them for their time and consideration 😊. I would also ask politely if there are any areas I could improve on before applying again in the future <3 I think feedback is important because it helps us grow rather than stay stuck in disappointment ❤️
This discussion also reminded me that leadership is not only abt having a title or badge. even small contributions, support, and kindness toward others still matter a lot in the community 😊
Your value on 7 Cups is not based on titles ^_^
@AiluraTheCat,
I really liked your mindset and maturity in this response 😊 You explained very beautifully that disappointment is natural, but growth and self-improvement are more important than giving up. I also loved your point that leadership is not only about titles or badges because even small acts of kindness and support can positively impact people a lot 🤗
Your message felt very genuine, calm, and emotionally balanced ❤️
@IamSkyBlueAakash
Thank youu <3 i appreciate your gentle word's towards me and my work, and acknowledgement 😊.
@FrenchToast,
✒️ Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Answer:
If I find out that I was not given a role, I would first try to stay calm and not take it personally. I may feel disappointed for some time because it is natural, but I would also try to understand that everyone grows at their own pace and maybe I still need some more improvement or experience 😊
I would politely thank the leader for considering my application and ask for feedback about what I can improve for next time. I would say something like:
“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to apply for the role. Although I feel a little disappointed, I completely understand the decision. I would really appreciate any feedback or suggestions on what I can improve so I can grow and do better in the future 😊”
I think responding with maturity, patience, and willingness to improve is very important in such situations.
✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
Will do for sure!!
@IamSkyBlueAakash
That's a calm, thoughtful and collected response. I like how you deal with resentment here, stay courteous to the leader, and concentrate on the task at hand <3
That makes sense, and when something goes wrong, a great leader would remain this way 😊.
@IamSkyBlueAakash
That’s a very mature and balanced response. I really appreciate your calmness, graceful acceptance of situation, and focus on growth through feedback that shows real emotional strength and self-awareness.
@FrenchToast
@FrenchToast
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I found out I was not given a role, I would respond calmly and respectfully, like this:
Thank you for letting me know. I understand that the role may not align with my current strengths or personality, and that’s completely okay. I respect your decision. I will take this as feedback and focus on improving the areas where I can grow. I’m also open to future opportunities where I can contribute more effectively.
