Weekly Prompt #3: What helped you understand and accept your sexuality/gender identity

To put it simply, in high school I noticed how much I wanted to kiss my friend (who was a girl) more than my boyfriend at the time and I was like "lol whut?"

Then I saw THAT scene in Black Swan and it all became so clear lol

Foe many years a question would keep popping up in my mind... "What would I look like if I was female?". I didn't know why I was wondering this, nor did I know what to do.

Around maybe 10 years later I finally decided to answer the question so I bought a female outfit. To start with I thought I was just Crossdressing. I couldn't even say or think the word "trans". But after a while I wanted to give myself a chest, and after that I looked down at it and thought "I wish it was real". THAT was when I realized that I wasn't Crossdressing..

Yes I accept that there is a woman inside me. I still question it at times, and there is no 100% test for it so I'm going with what seems to make sense. And me being. A female mind in a male body makes sense as it answers many questions regarding things I've done and been drawn to over the years..

@ASilentObserver Sometimes I have to think like: IF I LIVED ALONE ON AN ISLAND AND I WAS COMPLETELY ABLE TO BE SELF SUFFICIENT AND HEALTHY, WHAT WOULD MY SEXUALITY BE LIKE? AND WHAT WOULD MY GENDER IDENTITY BE LIKE? If I did not have to deal with other feeling offended, or pressure from the hetero world, or pressure from the LGBT friends... I am a "tomboy" type, androgynous, but more comfortable with the masc. I heard the comedian (/musician/actor) Mae Martin talking on their pod about make up choices and things like that. There was an appeal to the clear or subtle types of products. Personally if I had my own way I would just wrap myself in a sheet, put on some sneakers, and call it a day. I like some types of waste wraps, like in some Indonesian and Polynesian cultures. I would prefer my hair cut to be different but I tend to wear beanies and caps because I am not such a fan of my haircut. A lot of things I am uncomfortable with them, but due to society I predict I would be uncomfortable with them as well. This is already lengthy and I have only scratched the surface with things like clothing, grooming, styles. I am not too comfortable with my sexuality due to where I had to move back to. But I was comfortable after I moved the first time from here to elsewhere. I had an entire queer life, circle of friends only really hung in the gayborhood and all my friends were allies. Ever since moving back I am back to what I left behind. With people who practice religious judgment and I tend to mostly feel paranoid of being found out. Eventually I will be able to move. Once I can move I feel like I will be able to come to terms with my sexuality and my gender identity. So for me- maybe it is the people who surround me and my local environment that play a huge role in my comfort. I do think that within my self I have come to terms. But how I actual live in my day-to-day, sometimes I am out and proud and other times I am hoping to just fly under the radar unnoticed.

Strong relationships are built on openness and mutual respect, where both people feel free to be themselves without fear of judgment. It’s not just about big gestures — small acts of kindness, listening carefully, and being present make a huge difference. I’ve noticed that platforms like Taimi can be a great way to meet people who value honesty and meaningful connection, creating a foundation for real friendships or partnerships. Sharing experiences, laughter, and even challenges together helps deepen bonds and brings people closer. At the heart of it, relationships thrive when there’s trust, empathy, and a willingness to support each other through both the highs and lows.

@ASilentObserver

What helped you understand and accept your sexuality/gender identity? What was that journey like for you?

My journey started when my ex asked for a divorce. It was the catalyst that has opened the floodgates of self-discovery! A few days after she asked for a divorce, I shared with her that I wanted breasts, and within a week I was out as transgender! About a year or two ago, I realized that I have little to no interest in boys. So here I sit, a genderfae lesbian, starting her life anew!

It has been rocky, and incredibly difficult. When I moved out, there weren't really any jobs (not to mention the fact that I had a huge gap in my resume and I was openly queer) so making money has been really hard. I've lost a lot of family, too, so it has been really hard to get help.

But things are getting better! Even in this frigid winter, I feel more awake and alive than I ever have! I find myself emotional all the time, but I much prefer that to the dead, emotionless entity I was before the divorce. It's been tough, but I see myself for who I really am and not who I "should" be.

I think the two biggest things that has helped me understand and accept my identity (which has included learning I have Autism and ADHD) have been my support system, and learning to listen to myself! 

For me it was some while after my husband got really sick. I left work to care for him, and as I focused on that and didn't have the energy to be the one who initiated contact with people in my life, many of them quietly slipped away. Contact with most of my family became minimal. We lived in quiet, without my toxic job, the toxic frends or toxic family members, and though things were hard around my husband's health, that stabilised to some extent and for the first time in my life I wasn't in survival mode any more.

I found out I was autistic (knew about the ADHD before that), and was able to accommodate myself better and be even more present and less in survival mode. I was able to connect with who I am and not so much the bundle of trauma responses that had been running me and stunting my growth as a person. In the midst of that, little things kept bringing my mind back to my androgyny. Then I saw trans-masc people in media for the first time; I found myself feeling so much joy for them and just that they existed. When I looked online at articles about those characters, I started to see words like "genderqueer" and "non-binary" as well as "trans". Learning what those meant, I started to feel like maybe that's what I am - I never felt like a girl or a woman, and even being called a "tomboy" felt somewhat shy of the mark. So I explored those words and thought and felt my way through that, challenging over 40 years of conditioning. Ultimately describing myself as non-binary felt freeing and honest where all the femme-coded things and even "tomboy" didn't. I slowly came out, first to my husband, then very close friends, then the wider circle, and after that my family of origin. I now have less family. My marriage and friendships, however, are very much alive and well. 

I'm genderfluid. For a long time, though, I thought I was either a cis girl or some form of feminine-leaning nonbinary. I was so used to the femininity I was taught my whole life, to the point I just didn't think I could cross over into masculinity. I denied the very possibility before I could explore it any further, or at all. I thought, "I've gone without it my whole life just fine, so how could I possibly identify with it? It can't be for me." (Spoiler: it could.)

 About two months ago, I identified with the term "girlflux," which is when one fluctuates between female/feminine and agender/neutral.

However, I started noticing some sparks in my mind from leaning into more masculine fashions, such as button-ups or jackets big enough to disguise my chest. It was a subconscious draw to the image of myself as more masculine, though I certainly wouldn't have recognized it as such at the time. I tried to ignore it at first, but I started to wonder: was it a sign of something? Could I be straying further from femininity and androgyny, into masculinity?

As I started to question my gender even further, a genderfluid friend of mine gave me some tips on dressing/being more masculine, and I tried them out. As I did so, masculine things slowly started to feel less foreign and more comfortable. Not always, with my gender being fluid and all, but masculinity did work on some occasions. This felt very weird. Me, someone masculine? How? 

With time, though, I accepted my masculine side and saw my fluidity across the whole gender spectrum. It was freeing to let myself be masculine when I felt like it. I broke out of the feminine box I'd learned to lock myself into (though on average, I'm still neutral leaning feminine).

@ASilentObserver

i became bi-curious when i was 13, when i played airsoft for the first time.. there was this chubby boy and he was so *** cute!!1! unfortunaly, i didn't ask him out, cause back in the day i was.. also.. homophobic...

i officially became bisexual some days after my 15th birthday, when i had a crush on the jock of my class, he was handsome and he had CAKEEEEE!! i didn't ask him out either, due to fear of being made fun of & getting bullied on the last days that i had with that school. i didn't wanna deal with either of them, incase if they were homophobic.

that being said, i'm actually omnisexual, however i like using more broad terms, so i'm bi.

remember, yall are worthy of love, & love is love

@ASilentObserverkkdk

@ASilentObserver

just asking myself ,looking resources online like scarlet letter and..honestly talking with ai and preying