what's the point?
This might be better suited in the depression forum but uhhh oh well. I've come to the conclusion that no one really wants to hear or see the real me. I've been told to be too much in my feelings, thoughts/thought process, and even in my identity. Learning pronouns is too much of a hassle.
I reconnected with a friend tooday and I had a strange experience feeling like a bot. I'm going to validate and validate this friend in order to stay friends. I was wondering if this is my existence and how I would be appreciated by others. Just mask and mask?
It's a a sad existence and I'm just hopeless.
@flimflamblam
It sounds like you are experiencing a really bad moment, and that's OK. I totally relate to the feeling that no one really wants to hear or see the real you. It is when things are difficult that we find out who our real friends are. And that is often painful and surprising when we find out that someone we thought would be there for us isn't..
I completely understand the burning need to be seen and heard. I hope you have already found someone on 7 cups who was there for you, but if not, might I try? I'd love to hear your story and any frustrations and get yo know you.
It is so unfair if you live in a situation where you cant be your real self. Everything matters, including pronouns. I hope you feel able to be yourself here.
The world is a lonely place. But I also believe true love and true care exists. They may sound conflicting, but I believe both are true.
It is easy for us to fall into thinking that certain people are all against us when everything they do seems to only seek to serve themselves but not you. While that is a valid critique of their behavior, I tend to think that they may still have a more caring side that may not be immediately apparent.
It is ultimately your choice to keep or to let them go as a friend, but I think it is important to allow yourself to reflect whether you have truly seen both sides of that person before making up your mind regarding how you want to proceed with that relationship.
I believe friends can disagree but still be supportive. Do you think you have provided enough room for that to happen? If so, let them go. You deserve better friends who can ride the highs and the lows together and still be friends in the end!
@IsaSilver
im super afraid of letting anyone go. and i know that is a problem i have to work through too.....
Awareness is the first step, and experience is your best teacher. I hope you will find you way in the end! Hugs~
@flimflamblam I wish this wasn't common in our community, but it is. Sometimes people in our families or friend circles want us to be a certain way, and they will go out of their way to make sure that we fit their mold.
But despite that, you've realized who you are, and that's a huge step! I'm so proud of you!
In the last 7 years, I have lost a lot of people in my life because I refuse to mask anymore. I hope this isn't your story, but truthfully you might lose some important people in your life. My sincerest hope is that you can find some family members and friends who do accept you for who you are! It's also been good for me to make friends who want to know me for me.
I spent almost 40 years masking, and it is *** miserable!! Coming out is hard, but I hope you find the courage someday to take that mask off and be unapologetically you! The people who want to be in your life will show up, I promise you!
I wish you luck, hun, and send so much love your way! Good luck!!
