Is femininity or masculinity just a social construct?
The more I observe people, the more it feels like a lot of the ways of how society was educated, at least from my perspective, what things I learn from others I saw so far. I was born in the year 1978, before the internet. Males were thought to supress their feelings, not cry in front of others, and a lot of other things, so in short a lot of the things were brute force into men or women to become indoctrinated even into renounce their true nature. I do not believe there is much difference difference between men and women, both we have emotions, all ranges of them, both can be super strong. In short I think what causes men or women to become more different is other people`s influences, society has become so difficult than the most simple thing it becomes super hard. Like a strong man crying cause fear of how it might be seen, or females afraid to lift a lot of weight at the gym cause being afraid of quote on quote look very masculine. Etc, So i believe the society we live in is one were everyone influences others , and some influence others even more, not many can really embrace their full aspect as a human, emotions, and all the things that this implies, not the social construct.
@Aayla Wow, this is quite interesting thing to point out. I tend to think were society brute forces the way to change ways men and women act it creates a chaos and creates fight among women and men, mostly due to disparities. In a highly dysfunctional society were it seams as if things are harder if things are forced to us rather than let them happen naturally.
@okeyyyy society has always influenced men and women to look and act certain ways. Luckily in this day and age more people are free to be who they want, which is a big weight of everyone s shoulders, even though to much freedom has caused some controversial issues. trigger warning, disabilities...I'm different very different disabled, missing limbs, and I'm no better than anyone else in thinking I'm just a freak, and I want to be a normal person
@Tinywhisper11 I know you tiny, and I remember your story. I think freedom is good, but our own nature will always help to lead the way, example, you are hungry, so you know you might be wanting to eat. You feel lonely, so you think you might want company or to talk to someone. You feel attracted to someone so you know you might want to get close. I think you are a very special girl Tiny, you had suffer greatly in your life, and that must had been a nightmare for you. I had lived through abusive parents and isolation, etc, I found that the main problem is not so much as the abused we got but being in an endless loop of repeating the abuse in a playback in our own head, as been stuck for ever in that loop, well at least it is for me, was more, i think. I think the most important thing that happens is the inner dialogue we have with ourselves, what do we think of ourselves. I think you are very valuable, very precious, its about learning to love ourselves, see the things we can still do.
If you ever feel like having a friendly listening ear, I am more than happy to help.
Have a lovely day.
@okeyyyy
definitely social construct. We are conditioned to abide by what’s expected and self imposed rules.
Some naturally gravitate toward what’s not the (normal) unfortunately nowadays that comes with labels as, shock horror you don’t fit in.
if people didn’t care as much and not try to fit social acceptance, people would be happier and feel more free , like themselves. Just because you don’t fit or care for the narrative,YOU DON’T NEED TO CHANGE! Love you for you, however that may be and perceived.
Nothing is wrong with you! Don’t hurt people when rules removed, not ok. But embrace who you are and screw social expectations and self imposed rules. Don’t curtail yourself, we all will be dead and gone before we know it, hope people’s compliance and actions in seeking social acceptance is not what they have as an only achievement when it’s all to late.
Boys, play with pink toys, enjoy drama films, do anything feminine (you are still a boy and normal), females, lift weights, build things, enjoy ps5, (you are still a woman and normal). Enjoy yourself, engaging in true liberation is acceptance of you, for exactly who you are. You don’t need to change, learn to love yourself as you are.
Society, can control you if you let it. You are perfect exactly as you are!
@LabeledBPD thanks , indeed, is good to be who it comes natural to us, if someone dont like it, is not my problem :) 😛 😝
It's what you call the double standard. It's okay for one gender, but frowned upon if the other gender does it.
@amicableox0685 Yes, unfortunately, that is why is good to recognize what is real and what is artificial, so you can do what feels right to you regardless of what it has been forced upon us.
@okeyyyy
I agree, think for yourself... if the crowd jumps off the cliff are you going to jump with them?
@amicableox0685 A lot of people will just follow what others do without too much of a thought, I know think sometimes is just cause they might have a fast pace life and little time to think of it, or many other reasons. But in my case when i see that something which i see is harmful or i dont like do it I just avoid it all together, like example people who drink alcohol to be sociable, if i dont want to drink I dont drink and refuse politely. or if someone smokes next to me, i should say, ok look if you want to harm yourself you are an adult , but dont seat next to me to smoke and harm me, especially when is a meet up event or get up and leave. etc, or if someone chooses to eat fastfood and i dont like and havent eaten in over 23 years i wont compromise myself to please others. So yes I cannot change what others do but I can choose what I want and dont want for myself .
@okeyyyy
Right, I did some of those things on and off for several years. Finally kicked the habit and it's made a huge difference in my health and mood and brought some pretty cool opportunities on my life. I found myself jogging one morning and made it to a mile. That was as far as I needed to go to see the improvement.
Ended up gaining a lot of insight on addiction...here's what I recently learned.
Addiction is a spirit with a unquenchable thirst that leaves path of destruction. Fortunately with modern day understandings many find the road of redemption.
But you know addiction has friends too...depression and anger. I think after I understood it in the form of a spirit I been able to guide myself out of the funk.
@amicableox0685 its always great when you can find tools to help you deal with such things. Today while looking for a podcast to listen, i stumble upon this one, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjfPSiUn3eE The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale | Full Audiobook I find it to be quite nice, easy to understand and to follow, and you can listen to it while travelling when you can focus a bit, also I think is good to take it in chunks so you can later on process what was being said and tried to incorporate it in your daily life. Like I listen to it while going to the gym with my bycicle, and while in the gym I noticed how some people were doing negative talking, mainly politics, so I was aware that that kinda negative talk was not good for my mental health, so I kinda want more positive people in my life.
well have a lovely day.