Do you respect yourself?
"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy"
Having respect for yourself will increase the amount of love that you can offer yourself and other people. Make wise decisions that are in line with your values and maintain a strong respect for your values and beliefs. Before you can properly respect other people, you first have to learn how to show respect for yourself.
Do you have healthy self respect?
What do you think needs to change so you will respect more?
Why do you think people struggle to respect themselves?
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@amiablePeace77
What do you think needs to change so you will self respect more? I need to have realistic expectations of what I am capable of in the situation I am in.
Why do you think people struggle to respect themselves? I think the biggest problem is latching onto some time in the past when we thought we were happy. I think the only time I can ever be happy is in the present moment, so why look back or to the future, hoping to be happy?
@soulsings
I totally get into this tendency. Fantasizing about what my life would be like in the future too much. Like, if only I can get past this obstacle then my life would be better. But I have found that each time I've done that, reached where I want to be, or thought I wanted to be, I again can start fantasizing. It's like my brain wants more and more. So it's way better to just stick to the present.
@soulsings
Good points soulsings, there is no life in the past or in the future. The future becomes the now and that's where life is.
@amiablePeace77
Do you have healthy self respect?
I can say that I have a whole lot more self-respect than I used to. I'm not sure if I will call it "healthy", though. In high school my self-respect was practically non-existent. Now as an adult, I feel better about myself and my accomplishments, and having made and maintained a lot of valuable friendships in college really increased my confidence and sense of self. Nevertheless, there are still areas where I can improve on.
What do you think needs to change so you will respect more?
I do a lot of negative self-talk sometimes and am really hard on myself when I make mistakes. This is behavior that has been automatic for me for a long time. I had a very negative high school experience with bullies and a chaotic family life that lowered a lot of my self-esteem. So, working more on my self-esteem, self-confidence, and forgiving myself are all things I can do.
Why do you think people struggle to respect themselves?
If they were bullied by others, even just verbally, those opinions from cruel people can stick with them for a very long time (as they've done me) and there may be a tendency to revisit those bad memories and believe the lies told. These constant negative ruminations probably created automatic thought patterns and behaviors (but I'm no psychologist so I might be wrong about that).
Of course, past bullying is not the only reason people can struggle. Perhaps people compare themselves to others too much, or set too high of expectations for themselves.
@cafedaydreams
It seems you had to cope with many struggles in your life. Bullying is never okay and always hurtful. To me negative self-talk is like bullying too, just done by ourselves and it can become very destructive to our healthy. I'm glad you're open to learn to change this. It might take a while since it obviously has been going on for a long time but change will happen if you keep on practising self love.
I respect myself now that I’ve given up alcohol. ami, while I appreciate your contributions, I can’t read many of them because my phone is in dark mode (so that I can read things more easily). Your posts are in either blue or purple, which doesn’t contrast against the black background, making reading impossible.
@ImANeurotic1965
Dark mode has surely advantages what concerns the emission of blue light but sorry to hear that it makes it hard to read the posts. Is there anything you can change?
@amiablePeace77, Thanks for responding. As a former website designer, I can only say that dark mode coloration depends on the programming of the (in this case) app. 🤷🏼♀️ Unfortunately, I can't do anything about it. If it's something I'm interested in responding to, I'll copy it to a notepad or something to see it. "Thought you ought to know." -- Professor Quirrell, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"
@amiablePeace77
Self Respect is something I am trying to develop and I can surely say with time and with so many Experiences (Good and Bad) I have learnt that Self Respect comes first.
Its Extremely important to walk away from things, situations, People who do not add value and positivity into our lives. Change is a difficult and can be uncomfortable most of the time but even through if that change is for the good we should not hesitate to change ourselves for the good. I was completely a different person few months back who hardly had any self respect. I would go around people who never did show me any respect, love and care. But with all those Experiences I have learnt a lot and I don't mind walking away from the people who are not good for my mental health. And yes, we can only respect others if we know how to respect ourselves. ❤️ That was a very good point.
❤️I do have a healthy self respect but still I do Believe there is some scope for improvement.
❤️I need to make myself Understand that not everything is perfect and it's okay to keep improving. Also to walk away from people who are not being respectful towards me even after making them understand in a respectful way.
❤️Maybe it has to do a lot about self esteem issues. They are not aware about how worthy they are.
@Unknown
It's very nice to hear that you have build up your resilience! Keep up the good work!
I'm glad you learned to walk away from those who do not impact your life in a positive way and focus more on what is helpful to you.
I respect myself very much. I feel like I’ve earned my own respect throughout my entire life. Even now, as I struggle most in life, I have earned my respect. I have many reasons for this...waiting for s*x until the time was right, in my mid twenties, going through school, working a humbling job and searching for the right thing for me. What would make me respect myself more is probably jumping on opportunities faster, but I’m not sure. People who don’t respect themselves may wear a facade, and at first glance you may think they have a huge ego, but it’s all a sham. They’ve got the most insecurities and have to bring others down to their level. What’s respect worth when you have to climb all over someone to get to the top? Respect probably wasn’t important to them growing up. And it’s going to be their choice if that’s going to change, no one can do it for them.
@TheJenInBlack
Sorry that you're going through a rough time but it's good to hear that you keep up the respect for yourself! I agree, some people mask their insecurities by playing the tough one, it's not okay though to bring others down.
Hope life will get easier for you soon.
Thank you ❤️ I really hope so too.
I think my self respect has improved and still needs some work. I still judge myself for past mistakes, I need to work on accepting them. I think people struggle with respect themselves because it comes from a place a self love and a lot of people don't love themselves.
@MeeshyRB
Nice that you're working on your self respect and that you see your own worth and value more than before. It can take time to break the patterns of strong self judgement if you've had them for a long time but keeping up the good work you do will make them break!
@amiablePeace77
1) Yes
2) Say more often 'yes' to giving myself the things I deserve. Be it breaks, nutrition, treats, etc
3) Maybe people rely on validation from others. So, when the validation doesnt come along, they find it difficult to respect themselves.
@DonaldDraper
You do deserve what makes you feel well! Good things are not only for others, you're worthy of them too!
@amiablePeace77
Do you have healthy self respect?
Nvr really thought about it alot tbh but I'd like to think so
What do you think needs to change so you will respect more?
Idk
Why do you think people struggle to respect themselves?
The idea that people have to be a certain way, ht wt personality, we bombard with images and ideas of who n what we are,should be, how to think feel.
@Fireskye13
You mentioned a good point about how people influenced to adopt a way of living which is not really true to themselves. I believe media plays a big role in this, telling people how to look, behave, what opions to have. It can be very damaging particularly to younger people.
@amiablePeace77
Great topic, pawsome check in! Hope ur doing pawsome today!
Hang tough stay pawsome ur friend 🔥
@amiablePeace77
Do you have healthy self respect? ●》 Yes, but there's always a room for improvement
What do you think needs to change so you will respect more? ●》Learn to control impulsivity and live more mindful on what's no longer serves me, grows me or make me happy. I don't have problem to walk away, but with adhd, i tend to be careless until it's too late. Still, better late than never 😁
Why do you think people struggle to respect themselves? ●》perhaps a need for external approval too much and struggling with self-acceptance.
Nice topic for discussion Ami 💜 love it!
@ouiCherie
Hi there 
. Good that you're seeing the effects of adhd with a pinch of humor. I believe that those mistakes easily happen when it is so difficult to sustain focus. Hope that coming here and mindfulness helps.