Personality Disorders Community Check-in: July 17th - July 19th
Happy Weekend lovely PD Support Community,
How are you feeling today?
How is the weather at your place?
I would love to hear from you, but there is no pressure to answer these questions. You are very welcome to simply say hi or share whatever else is on your mind. Or just grab a hug. We are happy to have you here no matter what, this is a safe space for all of you.
Much love from Community Mentor,
Paradise
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@competentParadise6344
hii, thank you for this post. Im feeling quite okay i think, struggling a little bit with my mental health but mostly i think im managing quite well. The weather is getting hotter, i cant wait for winter. How are you doing?<3
@Tamy4210
Glad that the struggle feels like it's mostly manageable. 
Haven't slept in 2 days and I keep maniacally buying things I don't need. I can't stop! It's been a week since me and my bf's break and I feel so alone. I managed to go outside today and buy some books so that was nice. Self care is hard but I'm doing my best. I feel very lonely and sad. Thank you for this space it means a lot. ❤️❤️
@littlelamb111
Sorry that you've been feeling lonely, but glad that this space has been comfortable/helpful and that you've been able to connect with some activities that you like. 
Is it mostly books that you're buying despite not needing them, or other things?
thank you so much! ❤️ this space always brings me comfort. and no, I actually buy books I read, what I don't need is clothes and jewelry and unnecessary stuff. but thankfully it's stopped now!
Had a bad fight with my mother in law today. I regret how I reacted and feel like it’s never going to end
@dapperWheel631
Sorry that you got into that fight and ended up reacting in a way that you weren't happy with. How are things going this week (either with your mother-in-law or just in general)?
just redownloaded this app after six months. the weather is nice. thank you.
@amiableJackfruit9870
Welcome back
thanks. don't know what to do on here lol
@amiableJackfruit9870
That's fair, lol. The site has lots of parts to it. The main ways of interacting with other people are the forum/communities, group chats/sharing circles, and 1-on-1 chats with listeners. Outside of that, there are also self-help guides, Q&A section, and community growth paths. So there are a bunch of possible things to try, and probably some of them will feel more appealing/relevant than others.
thanks for the help, I'll try that!
stayed up every night since wednesday and missed my surgery on friday morning. still dealing with my breakup from may. lots of shame and disappointment in self. loads of depression, anxiety, and am very on edge. hoping to sleep soon. it’s been monsoon season here so the temperature has been decent.
@kingkierantyler
Sorry that things have been difficult--just based on everything you explained in another post, totally understandable that the breakup would be on your mind and affecting you. Hope that you're able to reschedule the surgery.
@competentParadise6344, 1. I'm exhausted. for the past several days I've had ants in my apartment and it has only gotten worse until last night. For a reason that I'm not going to discuss here, they suddenly stopped. But I was very afraid that they would come back and end up in my bedroom. I slept with lights on and didn't sleep well at all. I'm afraid they will come back so I'm afraid to sleep again, but I can't not sleep. I have to work tomorrow.
2. the weather is cooler this evening.
@purpleTree4652
Wow, that sounds pretty unpleasant, and I'd be pretty tired too. How have you been doing this week with the ants and sleeping?
@QuietMagic, Thank you for asking. The leasing office gave me poison to put around the perimater of the interior of my apartment. It's working. I've moved my bed to the opposite corner of the bedroom, but it isn't the best spot. My cat, Chloe, likes it though, because she can lay in her bed, which is the foot end of my bed, and look out the front windows. The bugs are losing. But this week they're going to power wash the outside of my building, and I'm afraid it will drive the bugs back in. I know I can't worry about things that haven't happened, but the bug situation is almost horrifying to me.
@purpleTree4652
I'm glad that the leasing office was able to help and that their solution has been working so far. Hoping that the ants continue to recognize that poison isn't good for them and find a better place to live. (And hoping that the pressure washing helps prevent the problem rather than exacerbating it.)
How are you feeling today?
I am doing well. Understanding how to get through the downs and get back up more recently.
How is the weather at your place?
Really hot, haha! California does not play.
@Stardew3
That's a nice feeling when things make sense and seem like they're working.
(Yeah, sometimes I look at those weather maps and it's like, "Which shade of red/orange would you like today?" )
this place is truly best, even o.n days I feet at my lowest, something always makes me smile. thank you ❤️
whoops auto correct messed it all up haha.
@littlelamb111
For what it's worth, your feet comment made me smile too. 
I struggle with Anti-Social Personality Disorder and, I had a lot of negative feedback from people because of it. I am trying to better myself and, Not think too much about what was said but, It still hurts especially because I trusted these people I opened up to these people and, They judged me. It's all I can think about. I want to let go but, I am finding a hard time in letting go of the past and, What happened between all of us. I want to heal but, I am in doubts that there's anyone out there that is just like me... I feel like a horrible person because that's all they told me that I was and, I know that I am not but, At the same time I am starting to believe them... I can't help that I have this personality disorder... What I do know is it doesn't make me a bad person because I have it I keep telling myself that but, On the inside I am slowly shutting off completely and, Isolating myself because what they said really hurt me.
@CharlieWinchesteTeamfreewill1996
Thanks for sharing, and that makes so much sense. You've had a lot of experiences in the past where you opened up to someone and they judged you, told you that you were a horrible person, and really hurt you and betrayed your trust. Even though you know you're not a bad person, you can't help the fact that your personality is a certain way, and you're trying your best to better yourself, when you receive that kind of message so often it's really hard to fight against it. And it feels like it makes sense to isolate yourself to avoid getting hurt again by people like that.
Appreciate your courage in coming here and sharing yourself despite the risks involved.
