Personality Disorders Community Check-in: October 1st - October 7th
Hi PD Support Community! 💜
How are you feeling today?
Have you ever experienced something really unpleasant that ended up working out for the best?
If you prefer not to answer these questions, feel free to share anything else that's on your mind or say hello or get a hug. 
Looking forward to hearing from you!
💜 Magic
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@QuietMagic
How are you feeling today?.......
Feeling a little tired today. As I need to focus on getting better sleep. However it was a really beautiful day outside today and was able to enjoy a local Fall Festival.
Have you ever experienced something really unpleasant that ended up working out for the best?......
Several times over the course of my life....Most recently was just a week ago. Having to make the decision to give up something that I worked hard on and worked hard for over the past 3 years. But, despite having to do it, In the end I realize it was for the best for the moment. And its left me extra time on my hands to focus and concentrate on Family and other things. And has left me less stressed-out~
@PoliteOcean
Glad you were able to enjoy the beautiful day and the festival. 😊 Hope you're able to get more sleep.
That sounds like it was a difficult decision to give up something you've devoted yourself to for several years. But ultimately it felt like the necessary thing to do right now, and the impact is that you're feeling better and are able to offer more of yourself to your family and other things. 👍
@QuietMagic, Honestly, I am in a mood where I have to push myself to get out of bed and start my day. I'm not in the greatest mood.
Yes, to the second question. I've experienced that many times.
@purpleTree4652
Sorry that things are like that. I know how that goes--some days just getting out of bed is a major accomplishment that deserves a lot of praise (good job 💜).
I'm feeling great today 😊 The weather is cloudy and rainy so it's a perfect day to stay in and read a book.
I had an unpleasant experience recently when driving to visit family. I almost got into 2 accidents. First when someone's cargo fell off the top of their SUV and next when I almost hit a moose. Then saw another moose running along the highway. It was a stressful drive and I almost turned around and went home. But I persevered and made it to my destination safe and sound! And I had a great visit.
@MeeshyRB
Hi Meeshy! Oh my gosh, that sounds so stressful. I probably would have actually turned back haha. I guess I would have missed a great trip it sounds like! I'm really happy to hear you enjoyed it~
@MeeshyRB
Yay, perfect book-reading weather. 😊
Wow, what the heck. 😮 Those moose really didn't want you to visit your family! Glad that you arrived safely and that you were able to have a nice visit.
@QuietMagic
feeling.. meh
something unpleasant that turned out good after all. Yeah rejection/blocking from a listener that didn’t give the time of day to explain why. Tuned out good in me saying goodbye to 7cups and thanks for everything but I’m destined to go this alone
@Pointlesswords
That's really horrible and I'm sorry that that happened. I've generally had very shaky experiences with listeners on this site as well. It's difficult enough to build up the courage to share certain things, but then in that vulnerable state to have someone else be negligently inadequate at listening (when they're supposed to be at least minimally non-harmful) is really painful and frustrating.
In addition to harming you, they're also violating guidelines for when/how listeners are supposed to block. Completely optional, but iIf you feel like it, there are a couple things you can do:
- HERE is the form for reporting this listener, just in order to reduce the chances of them doing the same thing to someone else.
- In the latest community update, Heather shared a link to a community survey. You can fill that out HERE. If there's a systematic issue with listener quality and enough people complain about it, maybe at some something will be done about it.
Something I wish I knew sooner is that the best way to find a decent listener is to avoid the General Request queue entirely and try to hand-pick a verified listener from the Browse Listeners page HERE. That way there's at least some control over who you get matched with. (Until 7 Cups makes significant changes to its introductory training, I can't recommend the General Request queue.)
Re: leaving 7 Cups, I wouldn't blame you for doing whatever you feel is necessary to protect yourself. I can attest that there are a lot of mediocre listeners here. I've also come across a handful of special people with whom I've had some pretty life-changing interactions and they've made me want to stay here and try to return the favor.
I joined this app less than 10 minutes ago and I have D.I.D with five known alters - Naomi
@thecraziestsystem
Hi, welcome to 7 Cups! Hope you're able to find what you're looking for here. Will just pass along some links that may or may not be helpful.
Member Welcome Pack
DID subforum (in the Trauma Support subcommunity)
List of experienced listeners who accept chats on PTSD/trauma (closest topic to DID that 7 Cups currently has listed)
Today, like most days, it feels like I’m being cautious not to let any emotion become too intense. It’s like ‘no, I’m not going to feel that depressed’ so I’ll distract myself. The feeling is still there but it’s being ignored. Otherwise I guess I worry when there is a break in distraction, being careful not to let any of them overwhelm me.
There was a very stressful, scary move I made that turned out to be a blessing to 4 lives. That was filing for divorce and getting full custody of our 8 and 11 yr old sons.
their dad intentionally worked the later shift at work so he didn’t get home until tbey were asleep and all work was done. When he was with us, he was always trying to watch the news and shushing everyone. Always negative and our oldest couldn’t please his dad nmw. He always had us in debt because of tne gross amount of credit card debt he kept getting us in to. Up to 50 k.
He spent very little time with our younger son.
I was scared to take that leap to being alone but I couldn’t see where I would really notice. It was very slight.
it was best thing I ever did. Living 2 hours away he now had a better excuse for not spending time with kids. I was already working, but now my business flourished. I was still helping at school often, I took them to sports, karate, music, homework. Also we had nice vacations. Cruise, Disney world, San Diego and Los Angela’s, All over Florida. Nobody getting us in debt!!! Finally!!!
We would chase each other around the house laughing without their dad always shushing us. There were so many positives. I was even able to know what it was like to be a kid having fun.
they had a hard time when their dad got married to a man. Our youngest didn’t care either way cause they never bonded and still today, our son feels apathetic. But our oldest had a hard time. Now it’s much better. Their dad, finally happy himself, stepped up and our oldest has been living with his dad and stepdad for 2 weeks and it’s all going great. I have always been thankful I took that scary leap.
Another was deciding to donate my younger brothers organs. I couldn’t donate his eyes, skin, but my younger brother saved 7 lives with his internal organs . It was left up to me to decide because of our bond, and it was a harder decision than I thought it could be . But how great that was for 7 people and their many loved ones.
@kindTurtle3738
That's understandable. Like that feeling is there and you know it's there, but it feels like if you let it loose, it'll become too much. So you feel like distracting yourself or doing whatever is needed to hold it in check feels like the best thing to do. Whatever works or feels necessary--you know what you're doing. 💜
***
Wow, that's an amazing story! Your ex-husband wasn't giving much time to your family and was putting you all into debt. It was scary but you took the leap of ending the relationship. And it worked out for the best in so many ways. You weren't much more alone than you previously were, your business flourished, you were able to start helping out at school, and you were able to take the children on vacation because you were no longer in debt. And you were also able to interact more freely with your children, laugh, have fun, and develop a close relationship with them in a way you couldn't before.
On the other hand, your ex-husband also flourished in his own way. He was able to do what he wanted to do (i.e. not spending time with kids haha). He was able to get remarried, he's happy in that relationship, and he's sort of gone through his own character arc where he's now reconnecting with the kids and your oldest son is living with him. You deciding to make the painful choice of ending the relationship set all of that in motion and had a positive impact that made all of that possible.
That must feel great knowing that you were able to save 7 peoples' lives, and I'm sure your younger brother would be proud of you for doing that.