The 2025 "What Helped" List

@SoulfullyAButterfly

✨ What is something you stopped doing, or a "No" you finally stood by, that protected your energy in 2025?

I heard someone say in 2024 "I am no longer rebuilding bridges I did not burn down" and that hit me so hard regarding certain relationships I had with family members that I decided, should those people try to come back into my life, they can rebuild the bridge and meet me halfway. I'm not building a bridge to make it to you, just for you to burn it down again. Not this time. So while I am putting effort into repairing these relationships, I am also not jumping back in 100% and I'm still holding these people at arms length, to protect my energy, protect my heart, and protect my peace. :)

I learned to create boundaries. I learned to say No to people who drain my energy. I am not very good at it. I am still learning how to set proper boundaries and how to not feel guilty for setting a boundary.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

One small thing I started doing this year was to journal again and using affirmations every morning to get myself in a good mindset for the day.

I learned how to stand up for myself to someone who I thought loved me. Realized that control doesn't mean love, disrespect doesn't mean love, and sometimes it's okay to walk away for good. Things don't need to be a blowup flight, it's also good to know when to just bow out and let them be. 

I will be doing more things that make ME happy. 

@SoulfullyAButterfly: Workout and exercise, Quality time with Good people, and dedicating time to skills for career growth.

It really has been a long year, yeah?

I do try different coping mechanisms because that’s my living mechanism. I used many this year and not sure I can remember all because they stopped being effective at some point.

1. I buy myself something at the end of each working day (mostly fruits). I looked forward to it on my way home and get occupied with it when I get back home.

2. I sang a lot and still do

3. Do some weird 3-minutes trying new dancing steps or just dance (most times without music).

4. Drink a lot of water especially when I’m having uncomfortable conversions.

5. Tried different games of my phone.

6. Sleep when there’s nothing else to do.

7. Watch kdrama

Small thing I started doing this year that made my daily life better.. really started looking forward, my future.

Specific message that helped.. if anyone has heard of Jackson Wang.. this year, he released an album, with lyrics of his songs telling his struggles as a global icon in many professions he holds. Although I've learned a lot through my own experiences, for him to share his own story, had been a secondary support and inspiration to me. Reminding me that even when nothing seems to be going well, as long as we take time to let ourselves heal and recover, good things will come our way. We must first be brave and have the courage to make a change, the risks may be high, and the unfamiliarity will be scary, but once we make that first move, I believe the rest of fall in place.

From Aug 2024 up until the end of this year 2025, I came across some life-changing situations. From the sudden passing of my Grandma, grief had hit me hard. I immediately fell into the bottom of the well, into a black hole. For the following 8 months, I couldn't work, as my body and mind had shut itself down, as a protective mechanism. For the longest time, the only emotion I felt was sadness. Luckily, a coworker suggested I join a Grief Support Group, she was wanting to attend it together, but she started a temporary position, working from home, and at many times, it landed on the evenings that she had to work. So, I went alone. It was held in a church, but we don't need to be church-goers to register (I made a post about what I learned in the Grief forum, I left out all the religious portions). My GP also helped me apply for some free counselling, that always helped greatly. So in those 8 months, the first 3 months (Sept to Dec), I was in the Grief Support Group, then, from Jan to beginning of May, I was seeing a counsellor. 

The impact of the Grief was the first life-changing thing that happened to me.

The second life-changing thing, was after experiencing the grief, I looked at my own life. Like really broke it down and tried to see what my future holds. That was when I made the decision to leave the hospital I had been working for 7 years since 2018. I applied to another hospital, that's an hour's drive away, and let's just say, I'm a lot happier now. I can feel the change in my body, with full support from the Management Team, and meeting new coworkers; something positive shifted inside of me. I finally felt I was living again, and rekindled my love and passion for the work I do. Maybe it's because of my vision with my current position, I ended up being appointed to become a Clinical Instructor. January 2026 is when I will start my countdown for my first cohort of students. Teaching my first batch from February to April.

You know, when my family was on vacation earlier, I went out for lunch with one couple (friends of my parents), and the Auntie says that I seem to be a lot more happier and more open. As I used to be that quiet one, who doesn't really talk much. The last time we had a meal together, just the 3 of us, was in 2019! With this get together, it felt different. I think the career change really made a positive impact on my life. I felt that for the first time, my future is hopeful, that it's finally getting back on track. I feel that it will get better. 

Honestly, the only thing I'm lacking is finding a partner/husband. But I'm not as worried about it now, as I feel that my career is just kicking off, having both my dreams come true, is rewarding. I feel more confident and it makes me believe that will become the attraction. As to when that connection will happen, I try not to worry or think about it too much. Just going to focus on myself, on my careers, and hope whatever it is I'm missing will fall into place when the time comes. 

@SoulfullyAButterfly

@SoulfullyAButterfly

✨ What is one small thing you started doing this year (even imperfectly) that made your daily life better? well, i started to stretch in the mornings, initially it was a light introduction to exercise as i have a very weak upper body and wanted to tone my muscles. i got lazy and stopped. now it’s something that’s back on my 2026 glow-up plan as i was diagnosed this year with costochondritis and i definitely need to start stretching again

✨ Is there a specific song, album, or podcast that helped? i really enjoy listening to soft jazz music or neo souls when i’m feeling overstimulated or irritated. sometimes, i even listen a true crime podcast on spotify hosted by stephanie soo 

✨ What is something you stopped doing, or a "No" you finally stood by, that protected your energy in 2025? setting boundaries and standing on them. i was a gigantic people pleaser and i must admit that it put me in plenty of situations that made me extremely uncomfortable or angry all because i didn’t learn to say no, or communicate my feelings openly. once i started doing this, i felt 100% better and now, i say “NO” to whoever and whenever i please without guilt