Alone and crying
So, my partner cheated on me and I got to know about it about a month ago..I'm in so much pain. We are not talking much anymore. I cry everyday at night after trying to keep myself busy everyday. I'm still crying. I don't know why I love people this much..some days i hate myself for it. For the situation I'm in. For this pain. I don't know what did I do to deserve it... it's not the first time. I'm sure it won't be the last.. don't even know why i'm saying it out here
@Stormandshelter
I'm sorry that your partner has cheated on you and caused you so much pain. Human beings are weak, imperfect creatures and they mess up. You did not deserve it, cheating is a conscious decision they made. Even if there is something wrong with the relationship, there is the option to talk it over and fix it, or to end it with dignity. For whatever reason they chose to remain in the relationship and cause you this pain, that is their decision and not your fault.
There is no timeline for processing this pain so one month or as much time as you need, your feelings are valid. The shock of finding out and the hurt, grief and pain all need time as you find your way to healing.
While you process this, please remember to be kind to yourself. It's good that you're trying to stay busy. Feel free to vent or share if it helps.
Much strength to you!
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I'm trying my best. He was a person who was there for me when no one else was. The last thing I thought was that he would cheat on me. He didn't do it just once. He was with her for a year and I waited for him when he told me he is going through mental health issues. It's tough without him. He was my best friend. He cheated on me with a friend of mine. I lost two of my friends..well he was kind of two timing.
I'm trying really hard but something similar has happened to me before and now I find it really hard to trust myself and other people or if I can be loved. I hope it gets better soon because I'm tired. 🌸
@Stormandshelter
I hope it gets better soon too!
It's completely understandable that your emotional batteries are depleted trying to deal with losing 2 friends plus the whole cheating.
This partner and even past ones cheating on you, is more a reflection on them than on you. You see, when we have a relationship, at first it's more of an infatuation and bond building stage. This is where both parties have the butterflies and attraction and aren't seeing any negatives in their partner or relationship. The second stage is reality. This is where both begin to feel confident and comfortable with each other and talk/plan goals. This is where the clash of personalities or values or attitudes happens, this is where the storms of disagreement and differences comes up. It is natural for everyone to have a fair share of strengths and weaknesses so it is going to need effort from both sides to make it work longer term. If the bonds created in stage 1 were not strong enough to weather the bonds, the relationship tends to break at this point. Unfortunately, some (a lot) of people tend to cope with the storm season by cheating because with a different person, they begin to feel those butterfly stage 1 vibes again - instead of dealing with the storms, they opt for the butterflies. So you see, this is a pattern often repeated because this is how they cope with the natural next steps. Sometimes, through time and experience, they learn alternative coping mechanisms and try to work through it with a partner to build a better future that can use their collective strengths to overcome their collective weaknesses. Again, it's not on the partner when someone opts to cheat. It's a personal decision because at the time, it felt good to them for whatever reason.
I know you mentioned it helps you to stay busy all day. What else can you think of that might help recharge your emotional batteries? Some people like being around friends and family, others like alone time to just grieve, what do you prefer?
Sending warm thoughts your way!
I understand what you're saying and I completely agree. Well, nothing's helping much at this moment. I'm just trying to distract myself because nothing else is helping. I have few exams and finding it really hard to cope. Hope
@Stormandshelter
Arghh exams are stress on a whole different level altogether! Especially when there's study to be done, it suddenly seems like anything, everything takes higher priority; even without the completely justified circumstances to be actively seeking distractions!
Exams mean you're working towards a goal for you. Those qualifications will stand by you even when these cheater friends no longer matter.
Hope everything works out
@Stormandshelter
We have a self help guide on dealing with breakups. I just thought to share it here in case you'd like to see if any of the coping mechanisms mentioned might help at all -
https://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/
Much strength to you!
Sure, I will. Thank you🤍
Everything will be okay. Sending love and strength your way.
Thank you so much. Love back to you🤍💟
you did nothing to deserve this pain. please don’t ever think that way. do not feel any guilt for someone else’s wrongdoing. there’s good out there waiting for you. take time to heal. reach out to friends and family. find yourself again. you’ll find what’s really meant for you sooner than you know it. there’s a light at the end. keep going <3
I hope. I really do🤍✨
Hope you will regain the strength you need to overcome this incident. I'm wishing you best of luck, and keep going!
Thanks a lot! ✨🤍