I fought for a relationship for 5 years and made nothing of it.
This story is way too long to get into details, but to make a long story short, it was on and off for around 5 years. I recently, made a few mistakes, nothing too serious in my opinion; no cheating or abuse, but she broke up with me. I called her tonight to tell her that I was sorry, that I felt like I never got a chance to show her that I could do better, and tosee if we could start over and give things another try, once again.Bad idea. She forgave me butsaid no, which wasn't entirely a surprise. I told her that I understood and accepted it, and that I knew I would turn out fine and had a good life ahead of me,but I just wanted to get a few things off my chest that I wanted to say, getsome closure, andend on a better note than we did previously, without any animosity. She made me feel pretty stupid for telling her that, saying that the last time we ended it was enough and that I was just going around in circles. I told her that I was trying to be as sincere as possible, she was making me feel like a piece of crapand that I was still having trouble forgiving myself for what I did to make her break up with me. She told me that that was my problem, that I needed to grow a pair, and that her new boyfriend was calling her, and hung up immediately. That freaking hurt. Looking back I realize that I gave much more than I got in return, and I let her lead me on and play with my emotions. 5 years of my life I can't get back. Why did I let myself be led on for so long? Why is it so hard for me to let go? Why couldn't I see that she wasn't the one for me when it was so obvious she wasn't? I made some careless mistakes, butI tried my very best to make her feel loved and I would never have been mean to her. Did I really mess up here or is she being too unforgiving?
@WhiteSidess - It's hard to say who is right or wrong in a situation like this without knowing all sides, but regardless, it sounds like it's clear that you two are not right for each other now, and what's important is finding what you need to be able to move forward and feel okay about things. It's easy to feel like the time together was entirely wasted, but perhaps there are things you learned, ways you grew, etc. from the experience that even if it ended poorly might still be good for you and a part of who you are going forward? I hope that now, with time having passed, that so has much of the pain and you are able to look back without as much hurt at what happened and feel like things have changed for the better since then. Be well.
@WhiteSidess - You gave 5 years of your life into a relationship which just came to an abrupt hault and now you are just not being able to make sense out it - you are angry and sad at the same time. Negative emotions have taken over and moving on - simply does not seem to be an option now. What hurts even more is - that she refused to fight for the relationship and instead hung over because of her new boyfriend. How could she move on so soon especially when you are still head over heels for her. And most importantly - you did not even commit such a grave sin ! (I trust you - I'm sure it wasn't something very serious) And you had apologized , and on top of all that - she even forgave you for your mistake (though after a certain degree of criticism) but refused to get back ! Am I right about what I just said? I will get back once you've approved of what I understood and if I - at all , understood it correctly. I am not saying it's her fault - I will get back on this later - But firstly is my understanding of your situation correct?
@WhiteSidess - I'm sorry, it's been a year since you posted this ! How are things now?
Hi. I'm going through the same thing right now. Me and ex-boyfriend were together for five years and one day he just called me and told me he wanted to break up with me. I was really devastated. It's been a month since we last talked and I don't think it's getting any better for me. I still miss him a lot. I mean how can you really move on from the person you loved for 5 years.
@missystanger1993 - It is indeed the most difficult thing to do. How have you been coping with it so far?
By the way - you could try the coping up with break up training module - it had helped me. Hope it helps you. You will find it in the upper left hand part of your screen under "path" - where you have training mentioned.
@shilpa well I'm just enduring the pain. It's just that it's alteady been a month and I know that he has already moved on, but I'm just really stuck. I still want him back but I know that's no longer an option and I know I have every reason to be mad at him for leaving me without a decent explanation but to be honest, I can't be mad at him. I really just miss him. I still love him.
I'm actually just really new here in 7cups so I actually have no idea how things go around here but I'll try the training module you mentioned.
@missystanger1993 - I can feel how difficult it must be for you to cope up with this situation. However, I appluad you for accpeting and coming in touch with your feelings - you have come to terms with the fact that your anger for him is temporary and behind all that anger is the pain of having been ditched by the one you love. You could Personal message me whenever you wish to talk, if I am not online, you can leave a message, I'll reply when I get back.
Take Care friend. And here's a long warm hug for you - <................> :)
