Is it wrong to consider breaking up because my partner doesn’t make enough money?
Backstory: bf [29M] and I [29F] met a few months ago and have been dating since. I think I love him and he’s told me he loves me and I can see from the way he acts that he genuinely does. He’s a really good person.
I’m conflicted because I make much more than him and from our discussions it sounds like he isn’t motivated to make more. I’m concerned about a future with someone who I’m having to make up the difference for and if we bring kids into the equation (we both want children soon) I worry I’ll solely be the one paying for everything. That isn’t the life I want and it’s causing me to pull back at a time when I should be pushing forward if this relationship is going to work.
I’m not sure what to do. I really like this guy but I don’t want to fall head over heels for someone and regret not finding someone who is more financially compatible for the lifestyle I want in the future. If you were in my shoes, would you be worrying about your financial future with someone if they made less and didn’t have a desire or inclination to work harder to help afford the lifestyle you want?
you’re phrasing it in a way to make yourself feel guilty, you’re not leaving because “they dont have money” you’re leaving because you feel you accomplished more and you still want to, but they dont share your goals and arent motivated for that, this isnt necessarily something bad, its simply a compatibility issue, i dont think you should stay in the relationship though, you’ll always feel like you missed out
@bravePerson5784
Hello!
Personally, I don’t think so.
We all have different expectations and desires in a partner. It’s normal to want someone with a good worth ethic.
Sending hugs<3 💛✨
@bravePerson5784
I can understand your reasons ..........it does cause conflict if one person is carrying a bigger load of finances.................. maybe he is not motivated now but will find a job that inspires him to strive harder..
but as a person who has witnessed many couples this seems to be a non starter to me........ did you exchange resumes when you started dating?.....................was a question where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years ?
People can and often do change to different career paths .......
have heard of many corporate people burned out and open a small cafe or food truck ..........did their spouse leave them if income dropped?
@bravePerson5784- you are being true to basic needs if you want to raise a family someday. I did not listen to my inner voice, and now 30 years later realize I should have. He did not have the drive or goals to support a family, and now blames me for never having children!! I would not wish this on anyone. Stay strong and choose someone who meets your expectations. Best of luck to you.
