broke up.
So, I've been wanting to post my story somewhere. I had a gf of one year, we broke up last week. Since then I have been feeling so strange. I have a mixture of feelings. I do miss her and think of her then cry. On some days I'm happy when I realize she's not here anymore. On some days I feel numb. I've been resorting to drinking and making myself busy to numb the pain. I know she doesn't love me and think of me as much as I did. I didn't have any choice but to move on since she said she didn't love me. There's so many things she did to me that was wrong. She lied, gaslighted, guilt tripped, and manipulated me multiple times. I was controlled and could say my rs with her was emotionally abusive. I also suspect cheating and trying to get money out of me. I know people would think why would I grieve a loss of someone so abusive, cruel, and a compulsive liar. I'm not sure why too. It's probably because the feelings I had for her was very real. It was deep. I've been thinking daily why we don't last but I also know that we would never have if we tried. She never tried to treat me right since months ago. She was always so angry, I was walking on eggshells. I remember blurting out on her one day that she mistreated me, which is why she never was the same ever since. I had enough that time. I only wished she could have treated me decently but she never did. She was always so overly controlling, wanting me to report everything to her, and I had no life of my own. I cried to sleep when we fought, I lost hair, and I failed my exams. She has been severely toxic to me and I don't know why I still miss her so much. I probably missed the memories we shared. I don't regret breaking up with her but I am in pain.
@considerateTurtle5368
its good that you broke up cause dosent sound healthy at all . and as far as why you still feel the pain cause maybe you still care for her. also i believe that if you were atleast talking to her almost 'everyday' to share your routine then she has just become more like a habit to you. and its a little difficult to change those hobbies.
@considerateTurtle5368
It is hard to shut off feelings regardless of the fact you see what and who she was ..... sounds like a user wanting stuff from you and she lied and gaslit .... People like that are they are out there are good at making a nice guy grow feeling for them as they often feel nothing they do not even see your pain
then they proceed to see how far they can go and still be forgiven etc...she is in need of some mental health care but most likely she was hurt at some time and decided she would keep relationships at a distance and HURT any partner before they hurt her.
I’m in the same boat. My husband I’m pretty sure is a narcissist and I felt I also had to walk on eggshells with him. He wasn’t controlling but he always was on my case, he belittled me and was even physically abusive when our arguments got very heated. Even though he’s an awful person, I feel that I’m still feeling so empty and sad inside. We are separated and he cheated on me with the same girl all our marriage among others but now he’s back with the one I feared most. So he’s officially done and said he wants to be alone, so it is annoying that he is the one that is technically walking away, whenever I’m the one that should have because I’ve been the victim.
Everyone keeps telling me I will definitely be better off without him and that I’ll find happiness one day and a man will show me what true love is supposed to feel like. I really hope I can feel that one day. I hope the same for you.
I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I’m sure that you’ll get over it and she’ll realize that she didn’t deserve you. Try to pick up a new hobby to take your mind off things, and don’t drink too much.
@considerateTurtle5368
Its a very good choice to broke up with her. I know that it’s hard for anyone to recover from this. So I hope you will feel better soon.
I feel you brotha. My girlfriend broke up with me 2 days ago. I am having a hard time letting her go even though I was mistreated as well. You cared for her and so it’s tough to get over her. It sounds like you gave a lot and she didn’t, then you expressed yourself and she wasn’t understanding. For me, it has helped to write her a letter expressing myself. Even if you don’t give her the letter it will feel good getting all your negative emotions out. Change your routine up, go to different places, try new activities, and meet new people. Keep your head up, there is going to be someone that values how much you have to offer.
