New to the Relationship Stress Community? Introduce yourself here!! ❤️

Hi. 

Hi everyone,
Excited to find a cool community like this.
My name is Emily, I am 28 years old currently living with my fiance who i've dated for 7 years.

What brings you to the Relationship Stress community:
I discovered my fiance had been online cheating on me for 2-3 months with multiple women from a mobile game. His affairs were a mix of strictly emotional, and some sexual. 
It's been about a month, and we've had ups and downs but he still hasn't deleted this game from his phone and he still plays it daily. He has blocked the women and has not spoke to them since he told them he lied about being single, but they still exist on the game and he has to interact with their characters sometimes due to the nature of the game and its events.
He always checks with me to make sure I know he's going to play it, and he will show me the game and his messages but the fact that he's still so involved bothers me. 

He doesn't see my point of view, or frankly respects my feelings on this. He feels he should still be able to do what he wants when he wants and if I can't handle that then we will forever have issues and the relationship is a lost cause. I've tried explaining it's going to take time for me to trust him, I've asked him to take a break from this game for just 2 days to see how it goes and he isn't willing to do that. 

The game for him is obviously more than that, its a place of comfort and security since he's been playing it for nearly a year and formed close friendships with multiple people not involved with the cheating. On one hand I don't want to take away this outlet for him since he doesn't have anyone else besides me as a support system in real life, but on the other I can't move past the fact he cheated on me in this game so I'm not sure how to heal when he defends the object of my pain and keeps it so close to him on a daily basis. 

We have both agreed to go to individual therapy, and we each have a session next Tuesday. However, resentment is high on both sides right now so it's become almost unbearable to be alone with these thoughts. Essentially I resent him for not taking full responsibility of his actions and getting rid of this game, and he resents me for "babysitting" him because I don't trust him enough yet to let him use his phone as much as he'd like. I can't control him or his actions so I'd like to find ways I can take control of my own thinking and actions. I hope I can get in a better place mentally to be able to be patient with his game addiction until we get to a place to seriously discuss it again with a better outcome for both of us.

What is one thing you love most about yourself (or, perhaps, your loved ones?)
I used to love many things about myself, but the infidelity has made me very insecure so I'd like to talk about my partner instead.
He made a big mistake by cheating on me, but I am still willing to try and work things out with him because of our past. We have never had any sort of issues before this (I believe they came about because we weren't spending enough time together, I had a sick grandma, sick cat, then a depressed mom, so I was away from home frequently dealing with these things).
I really love how well we work together, we were coworkers before lovers, we have always felt like a team. 
I love his patience and willingness to do things for me and with me that others wouldn't normally do. For example, I have dated a lot, some long term some short term but no man has ever been so invested in my interests. He genuinely cares about the things I like, what brings me joy, what music I listen to, etc. Of course these days we are in a rough spot, but thinking about all these things give me hope for the future.

Sorry if this is more of a rant than an introduction... I've never done something like this before.
Thanks for reading.

@ASilentObserver

Hi, recently joined🌸 

Joined because i just need to know that im not alone, and that there's hope at the end of the tunnel. Recovering from emotional infidelity,  going on 4 yrs. Lol. Most recent discovery was on April's fool day🥴. 

Hoping to gather myself and leave🌸

Hi @asilentobserver

@ASilentObserver

hi I’m new here…. Joined here about a week ago!!

What brings you to the Relationship Stress community? I’ve been in a relationship now going on 5 years we had our ups and downs but things were real good… mind you this is my first real relationship with out drugs so I feel all the emotions… I deal with PTSD bad from pervious relationships and maybe about a year or so ago things started to change in my relationship. He was always mad at me for something or ignoring me and started calling me out my name. Did I mention I’m truly in love with this man cause he loves me for me and helps me over come my own obstacles… it got to the point I couldn’t take it no more so I left him but we still would talk not in a relationship tho and I found out he relapse and that’s why the problems started…well January he had an accident and hit his head and almost died and I got the call this happen and not knowing anything bout him or what was going on made me realize I need this man in my life like I need him…he ended up calling me from the hospital and ugh what it felt to here his voice!! So I gave in to the relationship again… we were real good until end of February when I found out he was talking to two other females… after I expressed to him how I feel and what I want now!! It’s so hard for me to tell anyone how I feel but I did it and he was cheating he said it was only 2 weeks and he just met these two girls but he cut them off the moment I found out! Well I took him back and work on our relationship and I was triggered but not so much I was doing ok!! We were happy! Until I got a message and it was one of those girls and she told me they were in a whole relationship for a year and she knew bout me! My world came falling apart but I kept us going but I’m so triggered still when I found out this I began experiencing panic attacks sleepless nights fatigue my panic attacks are so bad I can’t  control them and he been doing everything to help me get well but I’m so hurt and so scared of it happening again. So I complain about everything I try to leave him! But he won’t let me I’m a mess I’m falling apart cause I actually trusted him! I need help I love him but I’m so lost and confused I can’t stop the anxiety the fear I’m so stress out :(

What is one thing you love most about yourself (or, perhaps, your loved ones)?  He loves me for me! No one ever made me feel the way he has!! 

Hello people!! 40 something female with lots of relationship drama. It's starting to feel like I'm living in a bad Lifetime movie, or an old episode of Jerry Springer. I swear. It's like I'm working my way through a list of things to do when having a midlife crisis. Divorce? Check. Reunion with the first love? Check. Affair with guy best friend who was formally just a good friend? Check. 

Hi hi! Call me Paladin. I'm 22 and am new to the platform. I was in a relationship for about 2 1/2 years- married for over a year and am now getting divorced. It's been really stressful as one might expect so I'm just kind of looking around the interwebs for some support since therapy isn't currently in the cards for me just yet.
Something I love about myself I guess would be my ability to have and hold interesting conversations

Newcomer and have gained great insights already!

My goal is to be able to listen and learn and share hope