Discussion: What has been the hardest thing you've had to overcome in a relationship?
Hey guys!
This is one of many discussion threads we'll have here in the Relationship Support Community. I ask that the team get involved also!
@BurningEmber @CalmCoach @cristiana33 @NavyLady @tranquilForever68 @countrygirl1231
The Discussion:
What has been the hardest thing you've had to overcome in a relationship?
You can talk about any type of relationship (friends, family etc) in which you've had to overcome a hurdle in your relationship. How did you overcome it? Did the relationship change for the better afterwards?
Can I join this sub community?
@jr50
Of course you can! You can press the subscribe button at the top of this page.
The hardes thing I had to overcome in a relationship was abuse. It destroyed me little by little. I managed to overcome it by daring to end it. It was the most difficult thing I ever did, the fear was overwhelming. But it was the best decision I could make.
@caringFox09
You're very brave and I'm glad you left! I had a similar situation and I'm also very happy I got out!
@SilentSerenityy I'm happy you got out as well! Rebuilding yourself must've been hard, but it's so worth it...
@caringFox09
I think the rebuilding who you are is the hardest part and it unfortunately will forever change you!
One of the hardest things would be overcoming insecurity. Insecurity sometimes leads to most of the problems in the relationship. It generated distrust and self-pity, which often was harmful to my friends, lover, and family. I realise that dwelling in my insecurities won't really do any good as I do not need to compete for the attention of people who already know my worth. I realise that my insecurities don't matter because they already love me as I am. And I think overcoming that has led me to express more gratitude towards my friends, lover, and family as well as the fact that it made me more happier. It built new relationships and maintained golden ones.
@imontheoutside
That's true, insecurity with ourselves can cause many problems within a relationship. It seems that you've learned a lot from your previous relationships/experiences. :)
@imontheoutside
That's awesome! :) Thank you for sharing love :D
@SilentSerenityy I think the hardest thing is trust. I was in a pretty bad relationship previously, so trust was pretty hard to build with my new boyfriend. Communication is always an amazing factor to overcome things :)
@Mellietronx
Way to go, my dear!
An open dialogue, and good communication skills are especially important if you've had difficulties in your previous relationship, and- trust is earned, not demanded. So good on you, for having the courage to get back up and have another go at a relationship, because while it can sometimes feel scary and you might question how vulnerable you can fully be around that person, it's a testament to your character that you tried again, and recognise the importance of transparent communication within your current relationship. It's vital for them to know what you are going through, and if they're the right fit for you, they will stand by you, hand in hand, with support. A lot of people in past relationships that have been quite "off" avoid anything new, but you've been so courageous and taken a risk that is likely worth it. So keep the communication open and transparent, and you will be standing on solid ground relationally.
:)
CalmCoach/ CounsellorA.J
New Zealand based 7 Cups Therapist
The hardest thing was dealing with my past romantic relationship. It was extremely dysfunctional and unhealthy. I was constantly lied to, cheated on and the naive me continued to stay. I thought that I could fix him as he had this manipulative way with words, but with time, I knew that I was wrong.
I had a wonderful support network, so I'll be honest to say that without them, I would not have been able to build the courage to walk away. By then, my confidence had been battered as he would judge every little thing about me, but I felt so empowered to have been able to step away from this, to do this for myself. I wasn't the selfish one, as he always made it out to be, he was. I learned that day that courage is scary but completely worth it!
@2cupsofteaa Im so happy for you! ❤ Having a support system can bring out the courage in us that we never even knew we had. Im glad that you found your happiness and became content. Walking away from him shined a light on you for a fresh start and new oppurtunities (:
@gentleDreamer76
Oh yes that's for sure! Thank you for the kind words! What about you? What is the hardest thing that you overcame? :)
@2cupsofteaa The hardest thing for me was accepting the fact that im not right or "correct" about every little thing. Now that I look back, I was pretty annoying about that sort of thing (:
@gentleDreamer76
Aww that's a tough one definitely! I struggled with that too, and it took some time to admit that I was wrong because I felt like I was admitting defeat haha. It's great that you've been able to learn and grow from there! :)
@2cupsofteaa Thank you! Its defidently helped me grow as a person. I learned alot from it ☺
@gentleDreamer76
Well here is to a new year, and more growth in our life :)
@SilentSerenityy The hardest thing that I have had to overcome in a relationship are disagreements. Being in a relationship has taught me that just because I feel strongly about something, doesn't mean that the other person should feel obligated to accept it (: Everyone is different, thats what makes us all so unique.
@gentleDreamer76
That's a very good point! It's always good to find a balance and to agree to disagree at times. :)
The hardest thing for me to overcome was realizing after a few yrs of marriage that my husband has anger issues and possibly other mental health issues, not diagnosed, he is very difficult to deal with and I have anxiety and depression, so it makes it hard to maintain my health. But I can't get him to get help.
@jr50 It must've been hard to realise he has mental health issues that negatively affect you. I guess it helps you understand his behaviour better now though. I hope things get better for you soon. ❤
@SilentSerenityy. Thank you , I just wish he would go for help, but I have tried for around 5 yrs and he's not willing to talk to anyone. 
the hardest thing ive had to overcome in my relationship is forgiving him for cheating on me, multiple times and choosing to stay with him and gaining that trust back
@Hal19
Being cheated on is so painful. That is a very big thing to overcome!
I have been married for almost 4 yrs and we have a 3 yr old son together.the hardest thing that we have gone through though is having to move several times. @SilentSerenityy
@zachsmom2013 Wow! That is a difficult process to go through. I hope everything is stable now. Im glad that you and your family are together ❤ ☺
well unfortunately my husband and i are no longer together.@gentleDreamer76
@SilentSerenityy
Having to let go to my longest friend. Our friendship was about 9 years old, we were super close friends but our relationship became pretty toxic due to money issues and her husband being quite abusive with her. I tried my best to help but I had to realize that it wasn't going to be the same as before anymore. Our paths were becoming more and more distant and I needed to put an end to it. It was really hard to overcome the suffering but I am happy I took that decision.
@cristiana33
I was in a similar situation with a couple where the husband was abutive to his wife too. He eventually started abusing me. Luckily, the friendship only lasted two years. He decided he did not like me and shouted at me to leave. Have not seen them in a year and at first I was sad but I realize it is all for the best.