Discussion: What has been the hardest thing you've had to overcome in a relationship?

The hardest thing ,been lied to and been able to trust again

@SilentSerenityy

Like many of you here... I echo those thoughts. Trust issues are the hardest to overcome from previous relationships. I am 75% there... still finding it hard but absolutely 100% focused on achieving this element of trust :)

@SilentSerenityy do break ups count as something you have to overcome in a relationship? I think the biggest thing to overcome is if your relationship isn't right for you and recognizing that and making the decision to find one better suited for you. In reality I think it is realizing when there is something that is just too big to overcome? Trust for example, in my opinion, can't really be found once it is lost. Any thoughts?

@SilentSerenityy

Communication.

Especially regarding things that can potentially harm the other person. But I've been working on expressing them in an objective nice way and using "I feel ______" etc.

@SilentSerenityy I am in a newer relationship. It's absolutely amazing, he's amazing. The catch? He is a Navy Man. I am 18 and him 19. He is already a specialist in a dangerous field. He is smart and careful, but that doesn't always ease my worry for him. After a recent miscommunication, he explained to me that next year for six to nine months, he was deploying to a war zone. My fear, as you might guess, jumped from slight worry to absolute shock and intense for his safety. I am what the military calls 'just a girlfriend', meaning I have no rights or say in his life. We have already set it up that we would write to each other as often as we can. It helps ease my worries. I am sad, but understand that he can't call me. His phone priveledges only extend to immediate family. I have always loved the military and the Navy being my favorite branch, we gained some interest in each other quickly. Looking at how far we've come to now, I am happy and pleased with our growth. I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I pray for him often and my family does as well. I just want him to come home, I want him to be safe and I want him to be happy.

hardest thing in a realtionship for me was coping up from dependence on my partner, and freeing myself from it when i knew from a long time that my partner wasnt right for me.

The hardest things were:

Having to deal with even more self esteem issues after being rejected by someone I cared about romantically.

Having to deal with anxiety, lac of trust, and low self esteem while I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship for a time that I have since gotten out of.

The hardest thing for me was not being selfish

@SilentSerenityy

domestic violence issues. still working on it

I went through the same issue i was in love with boy 17 years old and im 24 years old, over 2 years together we were close friends in the beginning I bought gifts for him i was more than perfect girl for him to win his heart then he gone once he found a chance to replace me with other girls on dating game he found girls acting like they in love with him and he believed that they will be last forever I hurt so much in that time i just see him gone from my life and he back to me and tell me about his new girlfriend how they were match in many things and im so different to him he hurt me alot in that time I kept my sadness inside myself and i was acting normal with until he fought with a girl he loved her so much he back to me and begged me to forgive him i was acting cold with him that time because it's just too much he came one day and said i was thinking of you today it's not surprise you in this moment I decided this boy is awful how he could say something like that to me so once I acted cold with him and he being alone he back to me and said no one like me i was treating him like he's one of my family he wrote many things and promised me he won't back the same stupid person I believed him and i was so emotional I hate someone begged me and I hate hurt people so I forgave him and I back with him after one month he broke up with his gf and he comes to me more romantic and saying that he want me so I decided to date him after one year of being friends we started dating in August after that i was so scared and worried if I made the right decision or no i was thinking alot if he's really changed or he will back again to awful person so i was like watching every move of him and if he late just few minutes not reply me I was thinking he back again to his gf or to that dating game and I will be fool forever i was worried so much about every moment with him but still I gave him so much love I think I helped him to forget his gf a little bit until I told him one day you won't cheat on me right he said I will never cheat on you so I said I will test you then he said go and test me after awhile he forgot what I said and I really did I made fake account and I added him and I tested him unfortunately for no reason he went with that account he said i am in difficult situation choose you or my love I really felt bad in that time I decided to never believe him again by anyway I just felt deeply sad he's not into me like how i am with him so we fought in that time and he sent to the fake account he will break up with his gf which is me and move on and it will be so difficult in his gf so he did that and by some way realized that account was nothing so he back to me again and apologized about everything that was on December so in April one evil gay he was mutual friends between me and my ex bf told him everything that i was the same girl text in the fake account so my ex bf find the way to move on and he blames everything on me and said goodbye I tried to convince him that he told me to test him but he said we aren't meant to be together in love so I told him can we be like friends he said i don't know then he said no I want you to gone so I told him okay goodbye forever but after two weeks my friend tried to make him back with me and he said hurtful stuff about me like me and him not match and my friend said she's a good person he said if you were in my place you would see more than you hear because I don't know what that gay psychopath told him so I decided to make my ex bf delete him at least so I showed him some screenshots of my conversation with that gay and how he was talking bad about my ex bf then my ex got angry in that time but I wanted to make sure if he gonna delete this gay or no so I added my ex bf on ps and we text then I asked him did you delete that gay he said I will delete him so I felt comfortable that at least revenge of that gay but then after that things are dead between me and my ex bf we barely text eachother and if we talk it will be for short time like 6 minutes maximum it's really hurting me watching things dead between us so one guy suggested to me today I Should ask him straight forward if he wants me back or I have to move on he told me you have to get your answer so you won't think about him anymore but I didn't text him I feel if I did that I will insult myself too much and I insulted myself enough after and during our break up im really hesitate so im thinking to delete him without any message from me so I can start new life now