Is it unfair to expect the same level of openness I gave in a growing connection?

I (F27) met a guy (M24) through a local dating subreddit. We talked every day for nearly a month, had great conversations, and were planning to meet soon. He said he was looking for a serious relationship, valued communication and wanted someone with emotional availability, and who was tired of games—which I appreciated, because I’m in the same place. I genuinely felt like we were building something mutual and real. One thing that bothered me a bit though from the start, was that he never clearly showed his face. His *** had no photos, and his profile pic obscured half his face. He said he wasn’t good at taking photos, and I said I understood—I just want to know who I was connecting with. I would send my pictures, even though I struggled with it too, because I wanted to be open and fair.

Weeks later, during some playful flirting and photo banter, he likened himself to a hamster. I teased back that I still hadn’t seen what he really looked like for me to know, and he again said taking pictures was hard. I gently encouraged him to try little by little, reassured him, and said I hoped to see him one day. Eventually, he sent a few blurry group shots and a childhood photo. While I appreciated the gesture, I felt confused and honestly a little disappointed. It felt like I was being handed a mystery box with “please understand” written on it. He picked up on my energy shift, and I told him I needed time to process things because I didn’t want to say anything I’ll regret.

The next morning, I sent a messages explaining directly how I felt. I told him I appreciated his kindness and openness, but sometimes he seemed too agreeable, which made me wonder if he was being genuine or just saying what he thought I wanted to hear. I reassured him that he’s been great at communicating and making me feel supported, but I value honesty more than constant praise—especially with what we’ve been building. I want it to stay rooted in something genuine.

I brought up the photo situation—how I understood that taking photos is uncomfortable for him, and I didn’t want to pressure him, but the gesture came off as evasive. I shared that I’ve been open about myself and how I look from the start, even with my own hesitations, and it felt imbalanced. I told him I was a bit upset because I’ve been emotionally invested and transparent, and I think being open matters when you're trying to build something serious. Instead, it felt more like self-protection at the other person’s expense than simple caution. I also mentioned that he had shared specific preferences in his post—like wanting someone with a normal BMI—but hadn’t been equally upfront about things someone else might care about. He told me he was 5'5", which I was fine with (I'm taller), but the group photos seemed to suggest otherwise, and that made me doubt it.

I said I wasn’t trying to hurt him, just trying to express how I felt because I cared about what we were building. I came here for something real—not a penpal to flirt or pass time with while it feels like I’m expected to keep being understanding even when things feel unfair. He responded and said he understood, that he wasn’t trying to deceive me, and that he genuinely meant everything he said. He clarified his height, apologized for how things came off, and said he understood if I didn’t want to continue. But after that, he started going silent. I checked in, not to pressure him, but because I didn’t want to feel like I was being punished and for us to properly address things.

He admitted he disappeared because he felt scared and confused. I gently asked if this kind of avoidance was a pattern in past relationships—because I value clear communication and avoidant behavior can be anxiety-inducing. He said it wasn’t typical, that he regretted going silent, but he suddenly felt like he was being “questioned” then and didn’t know how to handle it. He said he’s “just a guy who stays under the radar with a lot of things” and would never lie just to be liked.

I apologized for how I brought things up and admitted I may have shared everything at once without checking if he was ready. When it came to him being agreeable, I thanked him for his explanation and reassured him that I think he’s being sincere, and that I just wanted to avoid anything that felt like love bombing. I said what unsettled me more was the imbalance—I showed up with openness—even when it was uncomfortable but he didn’t offer the same level of transparency that I think is fair in building a serious connection. I thought meeting the other person halfway is important and that he can’t ask for something meaningful without giving something basic in return. Regardless, I reassured him that I was still open to moving forward as long as we both showed up equally and it was a minor misunderstanding anyway.

He said he understood and validated my feelings, said that not everyone is like himself or would be okay with what he’s doing but then told me he didn’t want to continue. He said we were in different life stages, that “maybe we are too far away from each other at this point” and that he realized we might be more different than he thought. Aside from our differences in expressing ourselves, he said he thinks he's a bit sensitive and while he doesn’t want to be coddled, he hoped to be met with sensitivity when things are sudden and conversations are uncomfortable.

I closed things by acknowledging our differences, expressing confusion over the “too far apart” line (since I had only asked for clarity given the sudden shift), and admitted I could’ve initiated things more warmly as some people might need more softness, but I was never hostile to him or demanded anything unreasonable. I said I truly thought something meaningful was unfolding, wished him well, and told him I hoped he finds what he’s looking for. 

While I understood his sentiments as a sensitive person myself, I’m left feeling like I was subtly made to feel like what I wanted was “too much” when all I did was express a need for mutual transparency. I feel a bit guilty for how I brought things up, but I also didn’t want to be too soft about something that should be a basic thing in a serious connection. Is it wrong to feel off that he pulled away the moment I brought this up after being so emotionally open with me? He was very sweet and quite eager before this. He later blocked me on Reddit, but not on *** where we talked (I removed him before the block), and deleted the photos he sent.