Any suggestion how to stop *stalking" your partner's social media?

Look, these little actions (obviously not just that one) are what's destroying your relationship. You need to trust each other, it's okay to check social media once in a while. Three weeks or a month. But when it's too much, it will only wear you out.

I feel like this was one of the things that ruined the relationship with the woman I loved and who loved me back. Don't make that mistake. If you need to talk more, send me a message.

@GoodThinker7

hmm, its okay to be curious about your partners community of connections especially in early stages of a relationship. But if you have any concerns with the gender ratio of your partners following, you should communicate with them. reminder that if liking someone becomes an obsession, the relationship may become imbalanced, and to get rid of obsession, maybe work on things like your own hobbies, interests, confidence... to build individualism. 

@GoodThinker7

In the end you are not finding out much as like or follow does not always mean they know the person.

in the end you are stressing yourself out with what if's.... if communication has changed stalking does not fix it. being open and communicating does. 

I wish social were never invented far too many things blown up by people making assumptions that males and females cannot be just friends. 

@GoodThinker7

One suggestion is to explore what you're feeling that's motivating you to lurk on your partner's socials and pages. Are you feeling insecure, confused, anxious, or scared? Or you not feeling trusting towards your partner? 

If it's becoming a habit, maybe explore how checking and lurking soothes you. Is there an alternative? When you get that feeling, can you associate it with another action instead? 

Hope you're able to get some relief from this, op!

@GoodThinker7

You're not alone in feeling stuck in a loop of checking your partner’s social media. Many people experience this—especially when the relationship begins to feel emotionally unsafe. What you're doing isn’t about curiosity anymore—it’s about trying to find reassurance. And when reassurance is missing in the relationship itself, our brain looks for it in obsessive ways—like monitoring who they follow, what they like, or who comments.

But here's the truth:
This isn't about social media.
It’s about how emotionally secure you feel in the relationship—and in yourself.

Let’s Talk About What’s Really Happening

In the beginning, he was warm, consistent, emotionally available.

Now, things are colder, less clear, and less validating.

That shift triggered anxiety, insecurity, and a need for control—because you feel like something is slipping away but don’t know how to stop it.

So your brain is trying to protect you. It thinks:

“If I keep checking, maybe I can see something coming. Maybe I can prepare for the worst.”

That’s not love. That’s survival mode.

The Problem Isn’t That He Follows People—It’s That You Feel Replaceable. When you don’t feel chosen, when you don’t feel emotionally prioritized, when your gut says something’s off—stalking becomes a symptom of fear, not curiosity.

What You Can Do Right Now

1. Name It as an Addiction—and Treat It Like One

This behavior gives you temporary relief, followed by guilt, anxiety, and confusion. That’s the same cycle any compulsive habit follows.

Start small:

Unfollow or mute his account temporarily.

Set a screen time limit (or app lock) for ***/***.

Replace the urge with journaling: “What am I afraid I’ll see? What am I afraid it means?”

2. Ask Yourself This Hard But Honest Question:

“If I trusted him completely, would I still be doing this?”

If the answer is no, then your behavior is a mirror of how emotionally unsafe the relationship feels.

If the answer is yes, then it’s time to work on building internal trust and emotional security—regardless of his actions.

3. Work on Reclaiming Your Power

Obsessing over his social media puts the power in his hands. Begin shifting focus to your own:

Boundaries: What is okay for you in a relationship—and what is not?

Self-esteem: What would it look like to become the partner you want to attract?

Standards: Are you with someone who gives you warmth and emotional clarity consistently, or just when you seem like you’re pulling away?

Final Thought...

You deserve a relationship where you feel emotionally seen, chosen, and safe.

If you're needing to check, monitor, or decode, something is already misaligned—either in the relationship or within your sense of self.

Let go of the screen. Reconnect with yourself. The peace you're chasing doesn't live in his follow list—it lives in your decision to choose yourself.