I lied to my boyfriend about how my body looks…
Hey guys, I need advice and I’m hoping yall do not judge me because I’m trying to change. I’m 19 years old and I have met a guy online who I really like & we’ve been talking for about 2 weeks now & now we’re supposed to be seeing each other in person soon. He’s very sweet treats me well & is just overall very nice but I’ve been lying to him. I have used others pictures and put my face on their body to make me feel better about my body so it motivates me to lose weight but it got out of control & I started to post it on social media (for most likely validation because I’m insecure) and now I’m kind of in a hole with him because of it. I am bigger than the girls in the pictures I used and I tried to tell him I was fatter & I wanted to wait to meet up because I wanted to get my body right and he always reinsured me that I wasn’t & told me if I was he doesn’t care because there are plus sized women in his family and I can just lose weight if I want to..but I knew I was fat and still felt insecure. I showed him my body on FaceTime a few hours ago and he’s been skeptical since & says he doesn’t care about that and just wants to know if I’ve been putting my face on others body. I’ve lied out of fear and said I didn’t but I’m sure he knows something is up. I want to tell him the truth but I’m not sure how to go about this..please help.
@shazanna
this happens more then you think and while i understand insecurity ..... being dishonest is not the way to fix it. Speak up and tell him the truth...
@shazanna
Trust is very important in all relationships. I can understand being ashamed of your appearance and wanting to hide it. It sounds like the lie has gotten big and it is hard to escape out from under because you are afraid of losing him. What would you tell one of your friends if she was in a situation like this?
You laid it out perfectly in that post.
It shows that you understand that
- you understand that it is a problem
- you give a reasonable explanation as to why you did it
- you want out
Just screenshot that and send it to him (don't forget to redact your username). It's on him to decide to forgive you or not and the best you can do right now is coming clean and offering that choice.
If it were to happen to me, I'd be slightly shocked at the effort you put in to go as far as editing pictures, but then realize you did it because you care, and if you're willing to be honest from there on, that would be alright. It's going to be a funny story material in a few months/years.
That said, it also shows you didn't trust him when he told you he was ok. Which might be acceptable if you are still getting to know each other, but eventually you're going to have to trust him, and he'll have to trust you.
Admitting when you mess up is a good tool to earn trust. I'm sure you'd be more confident about someone admitting their mistakes than someone who seemingly have none.
i told him everything recently and we had a long conversation and I didn’t completely lose him I lost his trust which I’m now working on gaining back. We’re not together anymore as of right now but we are the only people one another is talking to. He told me he would help get my body back right like my actual old pictures of me & not the ones I edited. It felt good to let that out because I can finally move past it.
