Delayed traumatic response

Almost two years ago during the pandemic, I found myself in a long distance relationship. I’ll start by saying that I did not want to do long distance in the first place, however the guy I was with was not willing to take the necessary steps in order for us to remain physically together.

Fast forward to when the pandemic was better controlled and borders started opening up again, after 10 months apart I decided to take a vacation and go see him. Within days of my arrival I was slapped in the face with a harsh reality check; he had been living with another woman for the last six months and actually started dating her before I even had to move abroad.

I was hurt, betrayed and in shock. He was living a complete double life and on top of that his family helped him conceal that fact from me.

I mourned the relationship for a few days before I decided I needed a rebound to get me over this situation. I signed up for a dating app and quickly within a week I was talking to a new man that for all intents and purposes was supposed to be my rebound. However once we physically started spending time with each other our relationship quickly and steadily progressed, I ended up staying indefinitely and didn’t return to my home country. Within a month I flew with him for xmas to meet his friends and family, by the beginning of the new year I had moved in, and now we’ve been together for almost two years.

Presently, I am abroad once again indefinitely as I’m getting started with my new business. However the sudden fact that I’m once again in a similar situation, is bringing up old and unresolved feelings. My anxiety sometimes gets the best of me and I end up spiraling. I’m hoping for tools to navigate these difficult feelings…