He chose family over me
My boyfriend of 8 years left me 2 weeks ago due to his sister becoming pregnant. Unfortunately 2 years into our relationship me and his family had a falling out. 6 years on and they still held a grudge towards me I’ve tried holding out many olive branches but nothing seems to have worked. I started a relationship up with his mother a year ago going out for meals once a month trying to get back on track with her after many years of not talking and not being involve in my boyfriends family occasions.
I think she didn’t really want to do this as it was a very false atmosphere I could feel every time I was sat round the table with her. My boyfriend announced his sister was pregnant 5 weeks ago to me and said he didn’t know how it was going to work between us as she told him I was not allowed anywhere near the new baby coming or the family. He said he can’t continue our relationship as we would all be a broken family. I told him I want to be alert of your family I want to talk and make amends but they point blank said no. So he decided to pack his stuff and leave to go back to his family’s house. I’m distraught and absolutely heartbroken, all the memories we shared all the laughter we did I can’t help but have pure pain and suffering with missing him so much. There was no build up to the breakup he just came home after having a chat with his sister and left. How do I ever get I’ve this my first love I can’t seem to move on everyday seems to be getting harder and harder. I love him more than anything in this world. We made plans to move out at the end of the year my whole world seems to of fallen from under my feet. He has changed his number and have had no contact for 2 weeks. Why do I feel like I’m clinging on to something that I don’t think will ever come back.
sincerely heartbroken
@jbds2014
Oh no I'm very sorry to hear it is heartbreaking when loved ones betray and stop trying for us and the relationship, you did not deserve this 😕
How are you doing ever since?
Is there something that makes you feel comforted?
After 8 years to change his number and up and move out making it seem permanent doesn’t seem pre meditated. Did you have trouble besides this issue with his family? And also did this issue seem to work itself into your everyday lives like at least coming up once a day or if he mentioned his family did it start an argument or give a tone of resentment to the Convo?
if his family holds a grudge against you it sounds like he’s afraid they’d do the same to him if he stayed and that he didn’t want it to come to a point where he had to decide but now that she’s pregnant they put an ultimatum up to him or something.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If he’s meant to be in your life I’m sure this will get resolved. You were together eight years and living together and of course he has a right to end that if he truly wants to, but you also have a right to respectfully try to reach out I believe. If you were with him 8 years Im sure you all are close. Maybe you could send him a letter or a letter to his family respectfully saying to please reconsider meddling in the relationship and to lay out the cards on The table.
giving it time right now is going to be extremely difficult as you’re in pain. If there is anything healthy you can do to push forward like a hobby or job or even if it’s just talking to someone on here to help the time to by or to a loved one or family member, do that.
sometimes for me reading relatable stories or hearing anecdotes can help so I’ll share some with you. Having a strained relationship with your partner’s family is hard. I know someone he’s a family friend and his wife/ mother of his children started getting in a riff with his mom. They’re all Christian but somehow they got into slight religious differences and his wife didn’t want to be around his mom anymore. His mom lives a couple hours away and for Christmas she met him halfway to give him some food she made because he didn’t feel comfortable inviting her over. His job is already stressful so it just made it harder now having to separate his family into two: his wife and kids and his parents and siblings.
in your case it sounds like you’ve tried to release any grudges and make amends but they just won’t have it. God knows why. Eight years is a long time to put in with someone for his family to not turn the other cheek and release any grudges.
i am hoping the best and trusting you all will communicate and work this out. It sounds like a rash decision he made albeit severe seeing he moved his stuff instead of just temporarily staying with his family and taking a few things he needs and also changing his number is intense. Unless he is pretending to be who he was as you knew him which I feel is unlikely, I think it’s probable he will reach out and communicate with you regarding this. He can’t live only for his sister and family.
