A.D.G.O (Another Darn Growth Opportunity)
I was at a conference last week at VCU. Linda Hancock presented this idea of ADGOs - Another Darn Growth Opportunity. She indicated that these are the sometimes self-inflicted and sometimes life experiences that catch us off guard. For example, getting in a fight with your boss might be a self-inflicted ADGO. Your car breaking down would be another. We are human. Difficult things happen to us and we also sometimes act in way that make things hard. Skills and re-framing help. Life, is often one problem/obstacle/opportunity after another. So, she suggests that we look at these challenges - not as problems to be avoided - but as disguised growth opportunities. A.D.G.O.s can also give us the passion to help others though similar issues.
In this thread, please share an ADGO you are facing and how you redeemed it!
Another Dadgum Growth Opportunity: thank goodness I seem to be almost done with it- Long story short, I'm fighting a debilitating injury that has taken since two Christmas breaks ago to heal as much as it has. One Christmas break ago, I caught MRSA and barely survived. In the meantime, I'm on (what just might be) permanent bedrest, dropped out of college and listening here to grow emotionally. I can't wait to heal and start over at school. What an opportunity to learn patience and develop empathy, right? AAAGH!
@beautifulGrace82 well even if you are bed bound which sounds awful you can do online courses maybe learn a new language play online trivia games go on seven cups of tea and post a few helpful comments there is so much you can still do from bed even if you feel powerless if there is anything you really want to accomplish try to find a way to accomplish it from where you are and I'm very sorry that all of this happened but let it build you up not break you down 😁 have a great night and I hope you get better 💓💞
I'm hurt I can't be any other way right now. I am feeling hurt and don't know any way else to feel and I know every time I feel it admit it will reduce everyday feel the hurt to wear it out
I've brought up my attendance at school tremendously and have managed to hand in a lot of my homework, and am able to face school with a stronger and more positive attitude.
I am graduating uni and applying for jobs. I'm getting a lot of silence so far from the employers. It makes me anxious, but this is part of the process. So, I'm learning about how to apply and 'sell myself,' but also how to deal with the nerves of the whole process.
@Erynn
Welcome back :)
I've lost two husbands to illness and have often wondered 'Why me?" Losing the first made me too ill to care for myself for a year. It was tough to rebuild my life but the experience eventually helped me to help others with grief. I was a Listener here when my 2nd husband passed and the impact of 7 Cups was crucial to my healing. I took a break as a Listener turned to my Member account. My fellow Listeners showed me kindness and compassion; there was always someone here for me; there were lots of hugs and thoughtful words to get through the rough times. This time I learned to learn from the acts of others and improve my Listening skills by treating Members the way I was treated. A huge 'THANK YOU' to all my role models that kept me healthy! 
@AutumnLeigh
U r an inspiration 2 me, AutumnLeigh!
Standing up for myself, letting my mother know I'm no longer her sounding board. Spoke my mind, respectfully but sturn. She's changed her attitude with me for now.
@Birdwatching
Kudos to you! I'm in a similar situation myself and I know what you did takes an incredible amount of courage! Good for you!
@StoryPainter ty, it took years to get to this point, I hope you find your inner courage,
@Birdwatching
Likewise with me. I feel like I can be an adult finally and stand up for myself, but it's still hard a lot of the time. Congrats to you again!
@StoryPainter I'm 47 years old my parents live across the street from me. I've been on call 7 days a week for 9 years now with them, and being there sounding board, mender, fixer, plumber, bulb changer, key finder, etc.
Tired of being yelled at, insulted, pushed, my stress level was to high and keeping me in severe pain, and telling them to ease up on making me stressed didn't work, it all got worse. So no choice, for my health sake. Hope you have luck with your situation.
@Birdwatching WOW! Well even MORE kudos to you, then! You've got some years on me, but your story gives me encouragement. :) I love my family, but my parents need to know that I'm not at their service whenever it suits them, nor do they have the right to order me about. It's a battle of the mind with myself, but I know I can overcome myself.
Thank you again for sharing your story! I hope that you continue take your own life by the reigns from here on out. :)
@StoryPainter choose your battles carfully , you will succeed.
I'm having a really rough time there is so much going on at home and I can never sleep I'm doing so bad in school and its just so overwhelming I feel like I have no friends and no one cares and I want to be strong for my family but I'm falling apart , there is so much that I want to achieve in life and I feel like my life complications keep me from doing them whether it be directly or indirectly I want to be more out going by my anxiety is crippling I feel like all of my friends are over there depression and found more such as better grades and more happiness and in still so broken I'm lost but I'm still trying so hard and I'm not going to give up because I can't I have survived this for 16 years I'm not going to give up now
@Bella1102
Please don't give up. You have some much life ahead of you. Plan what you want it to look like it and work your plan. Don't forget to talk to God about your pain, concerns alone, thru Church, etc.
@Bella1102. Hi I know its hard. I have been where you are. But don't give up. You can do it. And even if your family doesn't be proud of you. You have to be proud of you. And you are not alone you still have seven cups.
@Bella1102
Dear Bella:
I have felt this way, and so has every person i've ever known (who is close enough to admit it to me!). Pain and disorientation are part of growth, and many successful people say things like: "If you aren't overwhelmed, you aren't growing fast enough". Growing is never ever easy for anyone, and many people pose in order to make it look easy, but truly good individuals will share their difficulties - I truly believe that every person on earth feels the way you do at many points in their lives - and being good and kind to yourself is a very challenging and very important practice - especially when you're feeling this way.
I've been a very diligent student of self-help for my entire life (i struggled with abuse, grief and severe depression for most of my life) and I find this website to be one of the most effective resources i've ever seen. There are true gems here for solace and growth (although it takes a little exploration) and one friend I made in a chat room said she keeps the page open 24/7. I so strongly encourage you to reach out in every way possible here. It's an amazing concept, and we're all so truly fortunate to know it exists!
And self-help books are so affordable, and tailored to pretty much every psychological ailment a person can have. They're thorough and often cutting-edge and I've almost always found them to be stuffed with so much profound information that it takes me years to process all the gifts the author gives. There have been many times when I've literally slept with my self-help books like a teddy bear - and they were right there when I woke up in the morning. They're always there for you - they never get cranky or impatient (or drunk - haha). My self-help books have done the work my parents should have done - they have basically raised me - and made me a strong person in the process. Do what you can to help yourself - you are a very hardworking, sincere person. You deserve it!
@GlenM A few days ago, I had an oppurtunity to travel to a remote location with my spouse, for work purpose.I avoid traveling generally cause of my nerve/ skin problem. The journey was long and part of the road was like terrains in some rally but the sight that greeted me at the end of my journey was trully amazing. It took my breath away . Plus seeing how issolated communities still enjoy a good life made me realise how important it is for us to face life and take challenges in our stride.
In the last month I was broken up with by the first man I've ever truly loved and felt accepted by. I lost my shifts at work and had to move home to live with my mom. All while finishing a semester at school. And starting a new ssri that's not working yet 😧 I feel pathetic and sad. I'm trying to focus on the tiny successes of everyday. Even if it's just getting out of bed.
@MRuth I had the same set of circumstances happen to me a couple of years ago. Know that you are definitely not alone there. Just allow yourself the time necessary to heal, and remember that reaching out when you need it means you are trying to do something to help yourself. That alone is huge and makes all the difference.
@MRuth
Lovers come and go, but your parent(s) and God will always love you as you are at all times. I've gone through divorce after 18 yrs of marriage. I survived and looking ahead to all God has in store for me. Read poetry- it puts your pain into words and shows we have all been there. I really like "Still I Rise" and "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou to lift my spirits. Also, listening to TD a Jakes or Joel Osteen along with friends helped me through the pain of my divorce: