Chat Anxiety?

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

I think I was about an 7. I didn't know much about the site, so I didn't know what to expect.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

My anxiety was a little lower, about a 5 or so, not so much about the site, because I knew what to kind of expect, but because of my situation at the time.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

TLDR: I didn't have many thoughts or fears at all about chatting with someone online. If anything, I was just afraid they wouldn't come up with a logical solution to my problem.

The thoughts and fears I had started from situations where I broke down and cried about something, and needed somebody to talk to so that my crying spells would go away. Both involved being in a bad confrontation with someone I cared about. I felt afraid that things would not turn out OK.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

When I recommended this site to a friend of mine, she had a hard time trying to find the connect button to connect with a listener. Having it automatically connect you to a listener, with a little introduction of what is going on, would be a great start for someone that may be too overwhelmed with all the options on the website.

Also, quoted from @TheComedyTragedy: "If after the 'connect now' button another button came up, saying "would you like to choose your listener?" and with answers Yes, or No - then the list of active listeners came up if you pressed yes this may be more assuring for the new member. At this point we could include a dropdown list at the top for specialties and say, if a person was struggling with depression they could scroll down through issues till they found the listeners with expertise in depression, before choosing one."

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

I was probably a 7. I wasn't really sure how this website worked and tried to connect to a couple of listeners but they never responded. I also was expecting to receive advice, so maybe making that a little more clear from the beginning would be helpful. Or maybe I just missed that part because I was upset, not sure.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

I joined as a member and I spoke to a listener. He/she didn't really connect with me or make me feel any better so I actually decided to become a listener. I wanted to be the listener I was expecting to connect with, if that makes sense. I think this website is important and I know there are a lot of other listeners who feel the same.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

I was mostly wondering whether this website was legitimate and how it actually worked. Also, when I went to connect with listeners who were online but didn't respond that definitely caused some anxiety because I wasn't sure if they were not responding because they didn't want to deal with my problem or what was going on. I now realize how everything works though so it makes sense but as a new member it was very confusing.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

A "how it works" section will definitely help. Also, maybe offering a quiz, calming game/video or some sort of distraction possibly might make the waiting time seem like less time?

Regardless, THANK YOU for this website. It has helped me so much and I'm so glad I am getting to help other people as well. :)

You chat with listeners here on the site to tell them what you're doing with your life. You seek relief from it, not advice. You already know you're doing things no one would agree with, this is why you're so confused. You don't need to be judged by your listener and forced towards a life path that you don't feel you can go through right now (like getting the divorce or leaving the job). Well, i'm in a relationship where eveyone is telling me that I need to end. I am in the mentality of trying until it's completely not working and then leaving, i'll not leave in the middle while wondering for the rest of my life if i could work it out. guys, let me try. i don't want any more divorce advice. i know the guy is hurting me, but i'll just get the divorce at the right time for me, if i want to!

Before I was a listener I used a member account for a short while.

So here is my take on it.

1. I was very anxious, having used Omeagle breifly I was used to trolls and later using Blah therapy I knew what it would be like to speak to random strangers but there is still a view that it's

dangerous to speak to people you do not know about your personal issues. So 10.

2. About 5, the first person I spoke to was unable to help me and let me speak to another listener and once I knew more about the process it was easy

2. I was very concerned I might be billed at the end of the chat and have to pay. I was also concerned that it may not be anonymous and I would be traced. And that I was being judged. I didn't understand the motivation anyone would have.

3.

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

Yes, about a 9, I think the site had just started when I first made use of it, and I am afraid I froze and did not reply to the point where the listener thought I had left. I felt like I was a burden even to the unknown volunteer and was scared to engage. I was put off because the listener immediately asked me to start talking. "Hey, Please talk to me" If I recall correctly. Now that I am a listener myself I always start by trying to put the guest at easy with a 'It is so nice to meet you' or 'I hope you have not been waiting for long'. only then do I ask 'Would you like to share what is on your mind right now?'. This does seem to put them more at ease.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

A lot of time came between the first and second time, I was tense, but not anxious, and the listener that attended to me was quick to put me at ease.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

'Now I am a burden even to people that don't know me' and 'being here is weak, you should handle this on your own', 'This is probably going to be one of those robots that pretends to be human or someone who just wants you to go to a therapist'.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

I think Noni already does a great deal, as well as the availability of group chats. And, drawing from my first experience, the biggest challenge are the first 5-6 lines in a conversation with the guest. The first line is the hardest, getting somebody to press enter and just say 'hi' back, or 'nice to meet you too', before pressing them to share their innermost thoughts with you. Ones they are sure they are talking to a real person, who cares and dedicated her/himself to you, most of the time makes that initial anxiety pass during the following lines.

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Hope this helps, I think this is a remarkable Website and Community!

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? if yes, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very anxious, where were you?

The very first time I hit connect now I got anxious. Connecting is not something that I normally do in real life very often, either. Definitely a 10 with anxiousness.

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10?

Still anxious the second time, and the third, and so on. The anxiousness would increase when I was in that same situation unless I was connecting to a regular. After an incident happened over instant messaging in February, that's pretty much been what I've been working with. I'm often between a 5 and a 7 with anxiety with 5 being middle ground for me.

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety?

Difficulties arise when trusting people I barely know. I'm also not good with trust. Perhaps it's not a good place for me. I desire a long-term person who I can work with instead of someone who just leaves all the time without so much as a farewell.

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener?

Connecting quicker. There have been times when I have to wait longer than an hour and a half only to find out that the Listener had become offline. All the training idea below would be another way to weed this out.

My current ideas to make it safer include:

1. Paid training for Listeners. My experience over the last while that I've been a member here has made me wonder if more of a commitment would be made if people took training that was more involved. I'd be one of the people who would seriously consider taking this if the option became available.

2. Continued training such as trauma and other topics as the audience of people that are being helped at 7 Cups grows. I'd also like to have more topics integrated into the training like music therapy and art therapy. Some of us like to talk it out; however, when I can't figure out what to say, music speaks. Also some yoga and meditation links. I know this is working out as a general site improvement, but I had to put it down.

i think that being nervous is really normal and maybe its important to stress that as well and that it can be really hard final talking to someone, i also think it could be important to let them know they don't have to speak the first time they hit conecct its ok if it takes you a few tries or if you hit connect and are too nervous maybe encourage them to say id like to speak but i'm really nervous can i have a mintue to gather my thoughts.

i think trying to take away people nerves is a really good idea but i think letting people know its normal to feel that way is just as important

I think the most important thing to do is to allow the guest or member to feel that they are in complete control and give them options.

I think having only one choice is to simplistic and premature. In sales I would never try to close the sale without making sure I was selling the right product for the right reasons.

So I agree how it works should be the first choice. Then link to a mock chat and at the end give them all the other choices you offered (except see the mock chat)

The second or third choice could be to read about programs at 7COT and they are linked to that. at various points in the presentation could be links to wait in queue for a listener or see a mock chat.

the third choice could be wait for listener with new age music or nature sounds.

I think noni turns off more people. If you simply gave a brief intro of 7COT and then told them they could wait for a listener and if they like they could tell a little about what is on their mind and how they felt today.

Now for the questions you asked.

1. Were you anxious the first time you hit "connect now"? yes, I wanted to be a listener so I felt like I might not be going to right place and I did not feel that was a valid reason to talk with a listener. anxiety 5 of 10

2. Were you also anxious the second time? If yes, where were you on that same scale of 1-10? No

3. Can you identify what thoughts or fears you had that may have been causing you anxiety? I did not know what would happen, I did not think I had a valid reason to be here (only sick people are waiting to talk)

4. What can we do to address this anxiety beforehand so people feel safer chatting with a listener? I think have a walk through and faq as one of the first options would help lower anxiety.

I think members should be given options or things to do while they wait - talking to the bot can seem irritating and scripted. Maybe giving them music or motivating videos to watch, showing them how to enter group chats and the option to customize their chat (E.g. font, background colour, site theme etc.) to keep them busy. Or allow them to do quick surveys.

I think the beauty of the medium is the anonymity it provides. On a couple of ocassions I have had people ask me if I am male or female and what my age is. The point is when I have come here looking for a listener I have got tremendous help from probably a teenager or an older person. I have found that a lot of times, age or sex has nothing to do with it. It has always been about perspectives and the life experiences one has had. I know of 20 year olds who are wise and 40 year olds with limited life experiences. Giving out age and sex before hand just makes people judgemental about listeners. If it is that important for the member, I think it is still a better option to ask and then decide to continue with that particular listener or not.