March 7: Age Categories!
Hello all!
I am excited to make this announcement! You all have been asking for MANY months... for better age identifiers!
We are excited to announce that by the end of this week, this will become a reality.
The age categories will be:
- Teen (under 18)
- 18 - 35
- Above 35
The updates you can expect:
1) A group support chat room for 35+ community members
2) On browse listeners the ability to search by age. You will be able to search for a listener by one of the age categories listed above. You will be listed within a specific category depending on the DOB you entered on 7 Cups when you signed up!
This is a suggestion box success! Big thank you to everyone who has left a suggestion! Keep them coming! We are excited about this!
cc @Anomalia @heather @iara @krinkthemellowunicorn
UPDATE:
If you are a listener, and you would like to not be included in the age categories, please just fill out this form to opt out.
Those who submit, will have their ages nulled and not be part of the age sorting update. We hope to accomodate everyone by providing this option.
Thank you!
I was actually just thinking about this last night, what a coincidence this was announced today! :)
As a young, adult listener I have found found that, even within my first week of being a listener, that there are many topics that I do not understand fully due to only being in my early 20's. I don't always feel that I can fully provide the best understanding to these members and guests because I haven't yet dealt with some of the issues someone older than myself may face, nor do I have as much experience as those older than me. I also found that, as a member, sometimes I also wish to speak with someone quite a bit older than me to get a differant insight from someone older, as opposed to someone closer to my age; and sometimes I prefer talking to a younger adult close to my age as well.
I do suggest also though that members be able to search between male and female (or amoung other gender options) listeners as well; as members may often feel more comfortable talking about a certain issue with someone of the same gender, or with someone of a differant gender; whilst also being able to search by age.
@KatherineKitten ... I'm reading down this page in order of when it was posted today/yesterday. Thank you, KatherineKitten! This is the most helpful post yet! <3 for me anyway.
@cyanPlatypus6370
Glad that my post could help you out! :)
@KatherineKitten
We have heard the gender search suggestion too... I think it makes sense...but there are also some concerns. We know that profile pictures which identify someone as either a woman or a man can invite certain types of members who are here for reasons outside of getting support. We'd want to make very sure that everyone felt safe on the site and in order to make this suggestion a reality, we'd need to add some specific caveats about being able to opt-out, how to identify genders...etc.
Additionally, I am not 100% sure on this, but often female listeners are preferred when specific topics are needing to be discussed (like sexual abuse or sexual problems - there are likely more, these are just 2 I have heard mentioned a few times), an easier solution may be related to making it easier for the members who need to discuss these specific topics to get connected to women/ listeners of their preference, instead of identifying all listeners genders...
Need to think on it.. but this suggestion is definitely on the table.. just not sure how it will come to be! :)
@Laura -also, all the same privacy concerns and need for opt-out and thus complication apply to sex/gender presentation.
@Laura
That is a very good point actually! There are many issues that can arise from this, as while most members and guests come on to the site for support, there are a few who come on for the wrong reasons; and this could make that easier for those individuals. This can indeed make for an uncomfortable situation for listeners coming up under a gender search. There are many listeners who may prefer to just remain completely anonymous, and not display gender (or age as many others have mentioned) at all, and just focus on active listening for the issues they have knowledge or experience on. These listeners should certainly be able to do that, to continue to feel as comfortable as they can on this site, and opt out of any gender or age listing.
But as you have mentioned as well; there are certain topics of discussion a member or guest may feel more comfortable talking to a female listener on such as sexual abuse, as well as even for something like discussing pregnancy, or even to talk about the mood changes that come along with what we know as, well, PMS. This can also be an area where the age search can come into play for certain topics that may pertain mostly to older women (or men). There may also be topics where a male may prefer a male listeners as well, though I can't think of these off the top of my head.
That said, it's certainly important to protect listners' privacy where they don't want certain information shared such as their age or gender. But it is also important to help members find the best listener for them that they feel comfortable talking about their topic too; be it in a certain age group or a preferance to a female or male.
That said, I understand the issues that could arise from it; and I certainly want to see it done in the best way possible to make all parties feel safe and comfortable. As with the age catagories. :)
HUZZAH! Thanks to everyone who listened to our cranky senior citizen ravings and made possible this glorious day! @Anomalia especially, who urged us on every step of the way. I hope this works out as well as it sounds. It seems very promising-- not at all exclusionary; just descriptive and potentially helpful.
See, everyone? When you have good ideas, rational support for those ideas, and a wee bit of patience, 7Cups always comes through.
Big ups to all of you in Admin who brought this set of suggestions to life.
@ladylazarus1971 ... a 35 or 36 year old is a senior citizen? whoa.
Is it possible to opt out? I prefer to keep my age (and gender and a lot of other things) completely anonymous because it takes the focus off of me and onto the chatter's reason for seeking a chat, which makes chats much easier for me. I have actually never, in my many experiences in chats, had a situation where self-identification ended up being necessary. I don't care if this rules me out from search results for adults within whichever subcategory but it might be good to offer opt out wherein one could still be found by the general adult category as it always has been.
Total anonymity allows me to be who the chatter needs me to be, not what they would assume about me based on age or whatever. I have always said that I prefer not to disclose, as the chatter's perspective is the most important one (especially since we don't give advice anyway), when people ask. If you read through my reviews, you can see a reflection of that, even just based on the he versus she in the reviews.
I feel like identifying age, gender, etc would just give chatters a reason to assume that a chat won't go well because I'm too young or old (not saying which...) or whatever to listen effectively. Listening effectively isn't about age. Actually, sometimes, the less I have in common with someone, the less I make assumptions, the more I ask for clarification, and the more effective I can be.
If someone wants to search people by age who want to identify, that's their choice and I have no issue there with other people identifying and other people searching. However, I don't want people I pick from the GR pool who have already waited forever then hear after they look up my age bracket, "I can't talk to you because you're [identifying variable]." That helps no one. I'd rather just leave it anonymous and serve someone effectively and anonymously who can assume whatever they want to assume without me disclosing anything.
@YouCanHas ... Right. and that's coming from me, the Member possible future Listener side.
@YouCanHas
Question for you... @krinkthemellowunicorn and I have been discussing how an opt out feature could work... but to be clear on a few things:
1) your actual date of birth is completely confidential, it will just be used on the back end to sort you into one of the 3 age brackets. Does this still feel uncomforable?
2) Would it feel better if instead of specific age ranges it identified the age brackets like this:
- teen
- twenty somethings
- experienced adults
We can change the names...these are just the first that came to mind... But generally speaking, instead of indentifying the specific age ranges, it identified you into word categories which implied specific levels of maturity....
@Laura ... #1 yes. #2 yes. I know you weren't asking me but .... my two cents anyway. 
@Laura
In my opinion, no on both counts. I want to be able to choose every variable I decide to share. I would rather there just be a searchable badge and a room available for people to seek other people in their age but that are open to others. Sort of like the People of Color badge or the LGBTQ support room. Then, if I feel I can adequately support each age group, I can earn a searchable badge for each age group. And if a member (or listener) wants to connect with someone in their own age bracket, they could use the group rooms or the badge search. Probably a lot easier to code it that way anyway since it's how the site runs already.
@YouCanHas - a few things:
If we did this idea, someone who you picked up from a general request would have no way to "look up your age bracket" becasue the only bracketing done would be if someone went to browse listeners and choose to filter the listeners by an age bracket.
However, because of these types of concerns and the added effort and complexity of building an opt-out, it appears we may have to shelve this idea (but not the chat room) for the time being.
If we find that there are only a small number of people who don't wish to be "found" via a browse listener search by age bracket, we might be able to work around this concern by making an adjustment for those individuals. At this point I am not quite sure of the number of people who are concerned that their profile might be reached via an age bracket search.
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
"If we did this idea, someone who you picked up from a general request would have no way to "look up your age bracket" becasue the only bracketing done would be if someone went to browse listeners and choose to filter the listeners by an age bracket."
So what would prevent a GR-selected chatter from going to "browse listener" then typing in my username (or some other identifying variable limiting the results to just me) along with an age filter? A particularly defensive chatter might do that and use it as hostile ammunition of "you wouldn't understand because of your age." By removing that option, it keeps the focus on the matter about which the chatter actually needs to talk.
Oh another room i can't enter 
but it's okay, enjoy dears, this is nice of you to think about ppl +35 , this is a true benifit for them ! 
@politeCup86 Sweetheart, none of this age-related information will do anything other than provide detail/description. No one will be excluded from anything. When and if the chat room begins, people outside the listed age group will not be prevented from entering, just like if you aren't experiencing depression you aren't prevented from entering the depression chatrooms. No need to panic or worry that someone is trying to deny you anything, I promise!
@ladylazarus1971 oh dear I'm not worried or panicked at all :D I'm very far from that actually. I'm so happy about this thing. It's very cool of 7cups to do it! And thanks a lot for explaining to me about the chat room. Yeah i didn't get that :) now i get it. Thanks again for ur reply!
Age can be really tricky, it's hard to relate to someone much older. I also find that I have many experiances that young adults can't relate to. I feel like it's more about playing it chat by chat.
@25Ashley ... I agree. Although I do see some merit in the idea of being able to query by age, personally it would turn me away. But that is just one person. Then again it is one person, right, @StandForFreedom ?? @DancingAlong @fluffyUnicorns84 @Amelia ... As a member I've been reading Listener home pages and sometimes Listeners will put their age (or age bracket) or age when they started 7cups on that page. As a Member, I do not yet know what is required information to become a Listener. Maybe I am too much concerned? @GlenM @Laura @Krinkthemellowunicorn @Dillion
@cyanPlatypus6370 ... I think this is the last post I put in this forum. This is the one I'd really like answered. Thanks to all! ~Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370 Hi there. I do not know of any requirements to post your age. I say I am in the second half of life or over 50. I really do not think age is relevant to a compassionate 1-1 chat.
I have had people ask me my age and I try to be polite but do not like to discuss it because it does not seem relevant. On the other hand some people put their picture on the avatar and tell a lot about themselves. There is room for everyone here at 7CUPS.
@Laura Thanks this is great news
@Laura ... while I support the idea behind this change, it is very concerning to me. I THINK I put in my real birth date when I signed up but I am unsure. Would you please check and let me know via private message? Thank you.
The anonymity on 7cups is something I treasure. Please help me with this.
@GlenM @KrinkTheMellowUnicorn @RocketsMom @Amelia
@cyanPlatypus6370
As a member, your age will not be included in this. It only pertains to listeners!
@Laura ... ah ok. thank you for the clarification. it will influence my decision to or not to become a listener though... ~Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370 - if your date of birth is incorrect we can fix it, and we will not show anyone's age or age range on their profiles no matter what.
Sounds good
@Laura I think this is a brilliant idea, I'm not really sure about the age category chat rooms, as someone who is 33 does that mean I am not allowed in the 35+ chatroom and when I turn 35 will I not be allowed in the younger chat room. Age can be such a difficult thing to pin down. I have quite an old soul, through having been through a lot in my life, but I can also be completely silly and immature too - I'm a child when it comes to things like 'farts and burps'. The best friends in my life range from young to old, my youngest best friend is 20 and my Gran is 78 and yet I click so well with them both... I think being given the option to chat to someone who is perhaps more mature 1 on 1 is definitely a brilliant idea. Just not sure on the chat rooms! <3
@JustMe83
I believe it is a chat room for 35+s but anyone can go in there! You will not be locked off from any other rooms. You will just also have the option of going into that room to seek peers of that age group, if you wish to.
@QuickJazz Exactly! Part of the impetus behind some of this age-related change is to not just separate everyone based on something as arbitrary as age, but to also to allow folks of different age or experince levels to find someone who can answer question/address topics best suited to that different age/exp. category. For instance, if I am a 40 year old mom of a preteen or teenaged child, if I have a question about how they might perceive the world or what pop culture references are most relatable to them, wouldn't it make more sense to specifically seek out someone closer to their age to ask, rather than another person nearer to my age? And if I am a 21 year old contemplating some major life decisions, like career path choices, or when to get married, perhaps it would be most helpful to seek out folks who have already lived through this stuff, and come out the other side with some experiential wisdom to impart.
Gathering many differing perspectives when considering how to tackle problems or even just walk through life is a fabulous way of developing a larger sense of how to succeed. I am hoping this minor 7 Cups change is helpful in that regard.
@QuickJazz Ah thank you for clarifying that Jazz, I believe - if it is as you have suggested - that would be a great idea then! Thanks for the insight <3
@JustMe83 - the chat rooms will be open to any adult
I'm a little behind on this thread but have been discussing the issues with various concerned folks. I will go through and respond as needed but wanted to share an update (cc @laura):
1. The plan has never been to show age or age-range on profiles
2. We understand why, even so, some would not want to appear in search results filtered by age range
3. So to do this right we will need to provide preference settings, track them in the database, and use more complex queries to sort people
This was proposed as a quick and easy way to provide an optional form of age-banding (which is currently the top request on our suggestion box and has been desired for approx. 12 months) for members and guests who are more comfortable talking to people in certain age ranges.
Given the understandable concern folks have about privacy issues or having their date-of-birth used in a way they did not anticipate, combined with the fact that the only way to address all these concerns is to design a more complex feature, I think for now we will sadly have to shelve this idea for the time being.
Sorry to the folks who really want this. We'll figure something out.
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn Sigh.....
@ladylazarus1971 - I have not given up yet!
I am brainstorming wth @laura and @devTeam and we might have a working solution.
@laura is going to asks folks who don't want to show up in the results to submit a form and we should be able to opt them out while still providing the feature.
I'll post an update when I'm sure this will work.
@KrinkTheMellowUnicorn
This update should be made on the first post of the thread too. :) So that people won't get too excited and not see it here...
@cristiana33 - well since this we figured out a solution, so I think we're good?
@ I myself welcome these changes I hear both sides of the story and understand however I am 52 years old and I I'm very laid-back and open minded no matter where the conversation is going and 9 out of 10 times these are people that are really needing help with younger people would have shut them out hung up for made a comment because they're scared and do not understand what they having difficulties with when I talk to people and hear their story and do not criticize or make them feel uncomfortable they feel so much better leaving some people said they were in tears that somebody actually listened to their troubles and help them with it that's what's important here
@softhugs - since this will only affect people who have a reason to look for adults in a certain range, I think we'll be ok (that is, there will still be an All Adults option anyone can choose).
@softhugs Hi, I am so glad you wrote you comment because at 55 I have found what you said to be true. I deal with all ages and every situation imaginable and I let them know right off the bat how old I am, that I have three grown children and 7 grandchildren but most importantly, I am non-judgmental and I do care. Also, as you said, because of my age and life experiences, I tend to be very understanding and open minded, where I think that many younger people might become overwhelmed. (Yes, I also become overwhelmed and need to step back, but at those times, I let the person know that I will not be available for a day or two or three and make an appointment with them the following week so they don't feel abandoned or rejected). Also, I never make it personal, saying, "I need a break from you," but instead say it is a family thing and I need some personal time. Twenty years ago I might have said, "I can't handle this, you are beyond help, you need to find someone else." That is honestly the difference in my maturity level, not everyone's. I know there are 20 year olds out there that are possibly more mature than me right now. So to put my two cents in, chronological age may not be the best way to segregate people because maturity levels differ so drastically.
