Crisis and thoughts of self harm clarification
Hello everyone!
There is some continued confusion on if talking about thoughts of self harm are considered being in crisis and if we can take chats about that subject. We've updated our crisis page with why we allow self harm thoughts but not thoughts of suicide. Please read the crisis page section here.
It is important for both members and listeners to be transparent with each other as to if they are comfortable talking about thoughts of self harm. As members, please check a listener's profile page to see if they say they do not take self harm chat as many people find the subject triggering. You can also search for a listener who has selected it as a topic they will listen about.
And as always, remember that listeners are here to listen, they are not here to give advice. If you feel you need more than just a listening ear please seek out support from someone who is qualified to help on that level.
@Jill7Cups This was a very helpful clarification, thanks Jill!
Helpful for offline situations too (in real life with friends) or strangers
@Jill7Cups " As members, please check a listener's profile page to see if they say they do not take self harm chat as many people find the subject triggering. "
I put the topics that I take or doesnt take in my settings. the topics we don't take don't show there.
I would not write "i dont take chats on self harm" on my profile at all because members browse by keyword a lot of time and then it increase the visibility of my profile for members seeking it, which i want do exactly the opposite. knowning not many members check the profile. so if a topic isnt listed in my profile, i would encourage to find a better listener that actually list this topic. it makes more sense for me.
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@Jill7Cups how do you definites actively or non-actively in terms of self harm? any guidelines or policies to help us to differenciate but also make sure our member is safe while we are chatting?
typically, when talking about self harm with a member, i ask them to agree to not hurt themselves while we are chatting and to put away any object that they may use to self harm. Because a chat may talk about overwhelming or sensible topics (triggers, emotional distress) and self harm is a coping mechanism to deal with painful emotions that can be triggered even more in a chat. Because I want them be safe. and also because those actions may help them to keep control (not having them in front of them is less triggering). I also can ask them to tell me if it changes (from passive to active, need to change topic because it makes it worse, etc) depending on my members, i work with them. at the same time i have trainings that most of listeners dont have here and those two things are very personal to me and my experience, not a policy or guideline on 7cups, for me if they meet those two criteras (agree to not hurt themselves, and dont have anything with them they can use or have put it away), i consider they are safe for the time being. I could not handle a member actively self harming in a chat and refusing to use appropriate resources.
@vivelespatates I think ensuring they are not actively self harming and that the tools they traditionally use are put away are fine.
Thanks for the clarification. As someone who has struggled with self-harm in the past, I am well aware of this distinction and I'm happy my ability to help others with this issue now stand on a more solid base.
So
my thing is that if were on a chat with a person threatening to Self harm, why immediately send them to the hotline.
im a self harmer, Im ten months clean but I for one , have never been suicidal as I would harm myself. I dont think that people that self harm are always suicidal,some cases, it may be true, but not all.
sometimes its better to try and understand why someone wants to hurt themselves it may just be a way to reach out for help,
does anyone agree?
@GodOnlyKnows51 That is exactly what this guidance says. You can scroll up to the top of this page and read it:
[W]e allow self harm thoughts but not thoughts of suicide.
We do not send people with thoughts of self harm to the hotline. It is well known that people who self harm are not always suicidal, and 7 Cups now fully accepts this.
Charlie
